The Excalibur Saga
by Albertson
Summary: When a new kid comes to Jefferson County Middle School, Milo, his friends and other familiar faces find themselves embroiled in a conspiracy that sees the return of a most feared enemy some thought long since gone. This is my first fanfic series, so please leave reviews so I can improve. This is also going to be a massive crossover between MML, PnF, Gravity Falls & SVTFOE.
1. The new kid

**The new kid**

The bell rang for the start of class at Jefferson County Middle School and, despite runaway roadwork supplies, somehow getting into a lion enclosure at the zoo and crashing a production of Macbeth, Milo and company make it on time.

"I still can't believe we're not late." remarked Zack.

"OK, the jackhammer is a new one today, I thought for sure the lions would get hurt." mused Milo

"The lions, what about us? That thing almost took my head off!" asked Melissa.

Surprisingly, Ms. Murawski was not at her desk when they arrived, which they thought was very strange. She was very attached to that desk and they were almost never apart. The trio took their seats as usual, when Principal Milder walked in.

"Good morning class, I have some announcements to make" she started, then proceeded to gather notes and started again.

"First, Ms. Murawski will no longer be teaching you for the rest of the year, and most likely never again. This is due to an incident". Upon hearing this, the whole class turned to Milo. Principal Milder noticed this as well, because she then continued:

"And no, this is not a Murphy's Law incident, funnily enough. No, she recently bought a new desk which some may call a 'Brobdingnagian monstrosity' and missed a payment. When the repo men came to take it away, she attacked them with office supplies screaming 'You'll never tear us apart!' The police were called by concerned neighbours and she is now residing in a secure facility where she will receive the best care money can buy."

The students all gasped silently at this news. They all knew she had a fascination, no, obsession with her desk, but they never thought it would go this far. Principal Milder carried on:

"Fortunately, we have a new teacher ready to take the reins. Please say hello to Mr. Jones."

Mr. Jones walks in and greets the class.

"Hello everyone" he said.

Principal Milder then whispered in his ear "You do have life insurance, right?"

"Don't worry, I am completely covered" he whispered back.

"Second, we also have a new student joining us from Oregon. Please say hello to Shane Miller. Please also do your best to make sure he feels welcome here." Principal Milder continued.

"Hello, it's great to be here. I hope we can be good friends." Shane said, with a vigor not common among typical new kids.

"Shane, feel free to sit anywhere you like, and talk to the other students. Don't be shy." Principal Milder instructed in a calming manner.

"Well, that's all for today, bye." Milder concluded, and walked out of the room.

Shane then made to take a seat next to Milo, Melissa and Zack.

"So, you're the famous Milo Murphy I've been hearing about since I got here. Did you know this school made me sign 10 safety waivers before I could walk into this classroom?" Shane said.

"It used to be more, but I helped then condense it down" answered Milo.

"Yeah, they used to make you sign for spontaneous combustion" added Melissa.

Shane laughed at this, which confused many of the students, especially Bradley.

"After what I saw in Oregon, I am ready for anything. And please, don't ask what I saw in Oregon, you wouldn't believe me if I told you." Shane mused. He said that last bit with less energy than his usual speech pattern, which Milo and the others noticed, but did not press further. After all, everyone has things they would rather not share.

After giving Shane a tour of the school, the day ended with the final bell for dismissal. Shane stuck around after they got out of school.

"Hey, do you mind if I hung out with you guys for a bit. My folks won't be home till late and it can get lonely in the house by myself?" Shane asked.

"You know what you're getting into right?" Zack inquired. "You wouldn't be the first new kid to get sucked into Milo's cyclone of calamity."

"Oh, I'm not afraid of Murphy's Law. In fact, I like a little excitement, makes me feel alive" answered Shane.

"Well, when you put it like that, how can we say no?" said Milo, intrigued by the possibility of a new friend.

"Great, let's do it" said Shane.

"I know what we need to do. We need to throw you a 'first day of school' party to celebrate you joining our little family" suggested Milo, ever the happy one.

"To the mall!" exclaimed Melissa.

At the mall, Cavendish and Dakota were manning their usual pistachio stand, when they noticed Milo and his entourage walk in. To their surprise, they notice one kid they did not recognise walking with them. This was not unheard of, there were many kids they did not recognise, after all, they were not here to mingle with the locals.

"Well, the pistachios are ready for transport, let's wrap this one up before something gets destroyed" suggested Cavendish, upon seeing Milo.

"Awwww c'mon, I wanna meet Milo's new friend, can't we spare a few minutes to talk to him?" asked Dakota, his curiosity piqued.

"You know what the Law can do. It may not be his fault, I get that now, but we still have a mission to complete" answered Cavendish. "Now help me load these pistachios onto the truck we have in the back. We have a long drive ahead of us"

"Ugh, fine" Dakota complained. The two time-travellers then exited the mall through a back entrance with their cargo and took down their stand.

"Now, according to this mission briefing, we are to meet a man called Albert Stevens at this point here with the cargo" explained Cavendish, pointing to a spot on a map he had marked prior to arriving at the mall. At that point, Dakota and Cavendish drove off without another word.

Back to Milo and co. they walk to the party supply store at the mall and proceeded to have a look around. Milo spotted a very familiar face working down the aisle.

"Sara! What are you doing here?" asked Milo.

"I got a part-time job here at the store to help pay for some new Doctor Zone DVDs that just came out. These ones are newly retrieved episodes from the 12-part serial 'Scheme of the Trashcan-droids', that were found buried in an African jungle" answered Sara, enthusiastically.

"Why, hello, I don't think we've met" said Shane, surprised that Milo knew an employee.

"Oh, of course, Shane, this is my sister Sara. She's a bit of a Doctor Zone fan. Sara, meet Shane, a new kid in my class who is coming off his first day" Milo said.

"You are insured, right?" asked Sara

"Don't worry, I know what I am getting into, and eagerly waiting for what comes next" assured Shane.

Unbeknownst to everyone present, a series of accidents at the pet store next door causes the cage doors to suddenly fly open. Next thing you know, the mall is faced with stampeding dogs, cats, guinea pigs and other household pets. At this point, the alarm goes off, and everyone is scrambling for the door.

"So, I take it this is a typical day for you guys?" inquired Shane, intrigued at this development.

"Yeah, pretty much" Milo, Melissa and Zack all say at once.

"Nothing I'm not prepared for" assured Milo, as he reached into his backpack as he pulled out some raw meat, fish and other food items.

"Melissa, you round up the dogs, Shane, you get the cats, Zack and I will take care of the tinier pets. We need to lure them back into the pet store" said Milo, demonstrating his quick thinking. They all took their assigned items, and split up.

Rounding up the pets took a little time, but with some ingenuity, all pets were successfully rounded up back into their cages. As thanks for saving the mall from yet another damages claim, the manager let Milo, Melissa, Zack and Shane have one of each party supply package on the house, after it was verified that nothing was broken due to Murphy's Law. After taking what they could, they all went to Milo's house to plan the party.

"You know what, I'm not really a party person, just a small gathering like this will do" said Shane.

"Really, then we're gonna have a slight problem" said Zack. When asked why by Shane, it was revealed that the whole class got together for Shane's 'first day of school' party.

"We were gonna drag you around town on a tour to keep you busy, but when you asked us if you wanted to hang out, it just made everything easier" explained Melissa.

"The suggestion to have a party was to throw off your suspicions" Milo further explained.

"You guys are the best, you know that" Shane complimented, obviously enjoying the effort everyone went for him.

"Come on, let's go party!" exclaimed Milo.

While the kids were enjoying themselves, Cavendish and Dakota arrived at their destination, and met with their contact in a darkened room that made them uneasy.

"I don't like this, maybe we should ask for a rendez-vous with a little more illumination" said Dakota, with fear in his voice.

"Orders are orders, now come on" urged Cavendish. Their path was met with a mysterious figure.

"Albert Stevens?" asked Cavendish.

"Yes" the figure said.

"We have the pistachios as ordered. Ready to receive debriefing" stated Cavendish, with some formality.

"I didn't want the pistachios. What I really wanted was the two of you, here and now" corrected the figure, whom Dakota was liking less and less every second they were here. At this point the lights came on, and Cavendish and Dakota found themselves surrounded by armed soldiers.

"What is this?! Who are you?!" demanded Cavendish in a panicked tone.

"Captain Albert Stevens, Excalibur Institute" explained Albert.

"Never heard of you!" retorted Dakota

"That's how good we are" explained Albert.

"What do you want?!" demanded Cavendish

"Temporal Division has had their eye on the two of you for quite some time. They get really riled up when unauthorised time-travel occurs right under their nose" Albert explained

"We're pistachio collectors, what harm could we do to the timeline?!" exclaimed Dakota.

"We know what you are, and further investigation revealed that you two have no significant impact on the timeline whatsoever" clarified Albert.

"Then why all this?!" asked Cavendish, confounded as to why this man would go to all this trouble for two people apparently so insignificant.

"I can make your troubles with Temporal Division go away, provided you tell me what I want to know" said Albert.

"And what's that?" asked Dakota, concerned.

"Everything I need to know, about Milo Murphy" said Albert.

Author's note: This is my first fanfic, it took a lot of courage for me to get around to writing this, and I had to think over it a lot in my head. Doing this, I never realised how hard writing was, until now. The writing team behind the show all deserve raises. Speaking of the show, I own nothing in Milo Murphy's Law, Disney and the animation geniuses Dan Povenmire and Jeff Marsh do. I claim no rights or monetisation from this, it is just for fun. The OC's in this fic, however, are mine.

EDIT: comments welcome, as well as any advice on how to get more readers.


	2. Love and lasers

**Love and lasers**

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and the gang were at Milo's house, planning out what they were going to do that day.

"The beach sounds pretty nice, and the weather's good for it" suggested Shane.

"That sounds nice, but my shark attack gear has been in the shop since that aquarium incident a few days ago" Milo responded.

"Shark attack gear? I am learning more and more about you by the day Milo" Shane mused. Shane had only been hanging out with Milo and his friends for a week since he started at their school, but that week had been more eventful than any of his past school years combined, and this fascinated Shane.

"The movies?" suggested Zack.

"All that's on are superhero movies, and those are getting stale. Plus, you have those fans of Remark and CD at each other's throats in the lobby" answered Melissa.

Just then, the mail arrived, and Milo went to get it. Looking through it, he found a letter addressed to him, opened it and read quietly. After a few minutes, he said to the group:

"I know what we're gonna do today, ok that sounds weird, hopefully some poor kid doesn't use that as a catchphrase" said Milo.

"What is it?" asked Zack, intrigued.

"I got a letter saying a new laser tag arena is opening up, and they asked me to help 'Murphy's Law-proof' the building" answered Milo. He then added "It also says I can bring up to 5 people with me for a free session. Isn't that cool?"

"Yeah it is" said Zack, but then added "But who else are we gonna bring? Between me, Melissa and Shane, that's 3 of your tag-alongs."

At that point, Sara walked in. Melissa had an idea.

"Hey Sara, wanna come with us to a new laser tag arena? They need Milo to help protect the place from 'the Law' and they said he can bring 5 friends for a free session. Please come, I don't wanna be the only girl there" inquired Melissa.

"Laser tag? Sweet!" said Sara.

"That's 4, so who else. I know, why don't you ask Amanda, Milo" teased Melissa.

Milo chuckled nervously at this. Shane was suddenly interested in this new development.

"You never told me you liked anyone, Milo. Keeping secrets, are we?" asked Shane, teasingly.

"Ooooooooo, my brother's in love" said Sara, getting in on the action.

"If I ask Amanda, will you please stop badgering me about her?" said a very red-faced Milo.

"Scout's honour" said everyone at once.

"Alright then" responded Milo. He then added "but I don't know where she is right now."

"I got this" replied Melissa, and she proceeded to pick up her phone and dial Amanda's number.

Back at her house, Amanda was going through her schedule for the day. She currently had 2 hours of recreation, followed by a half hour lunch and up until 5pm for more recreation. Ever since the opera, Amanda had a more relaxed approach to planning her day. It used to be by the minute. Just then, her phone rang.

"Hello?" Amanda answered.

"Hi, it's Melissa" said Melissa on the phone. "Look, Milo wanted to ask if you wanted to come with us to a new laser tag arena that he is 'Murphy's Law-proofing'. We all get in for free in exchange."

This caught Amanda off-guard. Ever since the school dance where the power shut off, Amanda had been fascinated by Milo. Sure, the chaos that follows him around, she still had a slight aversion to, but she also found his ability to adapt to all of it, and to look on the bright side despite it, very intriguing. Thinking it all over, she came to a response.

"Sure, it sounds like fun, tell Milo I look forward to meeting him there" Amanda replied.

"Great, thanks, I'll be sure to tell him. I'll text you the address of the new place. See you then" Melissa concluded, then hung up the phone and texted Amanda the address.

"Did you have to tell her I wanted to ask her?" asked Milo, clearly annoyed at Melissa's attempt to play Cupid.

"You'll thank me later" retorted Melissa.

Elsewhere, at an undisclosed location, Captain Albert Stevens of the Excalibur Institute, was in his office going over what he had learned from the time travellers they had captured and questioned with his XO, Lieutenant Kilstone.

"So, we know that the chaos of Murphy's Law is not directly caused by Milo himself, but a result of his ancestor, Edward A. Murphy, coining the Law to begin with" Albert recited.

"Yes, sir, and we also know that he has time-travelled at least once. Do you still want Temporal Division to chase this up?" asked Kilstone.

"No. While it is curious how he ended up on a pilot episode of Doctor Zone filmed 50 years ago, it is not relevant to what we are doing now" answered Albert.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" piped Kilstone.

"Always. I prefer my XOs to be blunt" responded Albert.

"Can we really extract and contain Murphy's Law?" inquired Kilstone.

"To be honest, I think this plan is a bit farfetched. Energy can be drawn from one vessel to another, but I don't know what this is" clarified Albert. He then went on to say; "Nevertheless, this is why the Institute was formed to begin with, and Major Smith has placed the highest priority on this mission, so failure is not an option."

"Then, if I may ask, how do we proceed?" asked Kilstone.

"Don't worry, I know of a scientist whose services we can contract" answered Albert.

At the laser tag arena, everyone got in and was registered as the first customers. They all took a celebratory picture, and Milo got to work 'Murphy's Law-proofing' the place. Afterwards, they all sat down to lunch, again, provided by the establishment as thanks for the work.

"In all honesty, there wasn't much to do" said Milo, summarising what measures needed to be taken to ensure the building didn't fall down. He then added "My dad already took a look at this place before we got here and he didn't find much he couldn't secure."

"So, is this a regular thing?" asked Shane, later adding "Like, do all the new places that open go to you to make then safe from 'the Law'?"

"Pretty much" answered Milo.

"Doesn't that bother you? I mean, I've noticed people moving away when you approach, ducking for cover when they are in a room with you. Heck, Bradley seems to think you'll kill us all like some crazy maniac" remarked Shane.

"It used to, but I've learned to take the good and not let the bad bother me" responded Milo, ever the optimist.

"I wish I could do that. After Oregon, I doubt I'll see anything the same way again" said Shane.

"Yeah, you never told us, what happened there?" asked Zack, his curiosity piqued. At that point, the manager came up to them.

"The arena's ready for you now. Do you want to do a free-for all or teams?" he asked.

The group discussed it amongst themselves, Shane secretly relieved that he did not have to answer Zack's question. After 5 minutes, the group decided.

"We've decided to do a team game" responded Milo. "Three on three" he later clarified.

"Cool, divide yourselves up and get the gear over there" said the manager.

The group had decided on boys versus girls, as there was an even split, so Milo, Zack and Shane took an entry point to the left, and Amanda, Melissa and Sara took an entry point to the right. After they geared up, a klaxon sounded, and the game began.

After an initial 30 seconds to get as far away from the opposing team as they could, a second klaxon went off, that activated their laser taggers, and the time to rack up points began. Both teams were having a lot of fun. Even Amanda, who had never played a game of laser tag before, seemed to be enjoying herself, though that didn't stop her from taking pot-shots at the boys whenever she got a chance. After a half hour, the klaxon sounded for the end of round 1. Games in this arena were decided on a round based system. Normally, there were 2 rounds, but if each team got a win at the end of each round, a 3rd tie-breaker round was played to decide the winning team. In the break room, everyone got some chilled bottled water to help cool off.

"I thought we had you girls at that second pass" remarked Zack.

"In your dreams, slowcoach. Even Amanda got you more times than you got her" teased Sara.

"I let her do that!" retorted Zack.

"Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight" everyone else teased.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my team" said Zack. The game leader then came in.

"After a very exciting round, I am pleased to give the scores. While it was close, the girls got more tags than the boys did that round, so the round goes to them" announced the game leader. The girls cheered at this news.

"There's always round 2" remarked Milo.

"You are going down, Murphy" replied Amanda.

"Someone's getting into this" teased Melissa.

"Nevertheless, that sounded strong. I do hope no other teenage girl uses that as a catchphrase" responded Amanda.

"Trash talk not your strong suit, is it, Amanda?" asked Sara.

"No, I don't believe in it. I don't know where that came from" replied Amanda.

"Don't worry, I can take it. Melissa's been trash-talking me in every competition we had for years" assured Milo.

"You're sweet, Milo" said Amanda. She then added "but that won't stop me from crushing on you."

"On him?!" remarked Shane.

At that point, Amanda realised what she said and quickly corrected; "crushing you, that's what I meant!"

"Rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiight" said everyone except Milo, who was getting more red-faced by the minute.

At that point, the game leader came in and announced that round 2 was ready when they were, so both teams took their positions and played again. The boys played a better game than the girls come round's end, so they took the second win, leaving a tie-breaker round. In the break room, everyone cooled off and talked again.

"So much for crushing me" remarked Milo.

"You got lucky. Next round, I will own you" trashed Amanda, clearly getting the grips of trash talk.

"Are you sure it wasn't Milo's dashing good looks that distracted you?" teased Shane.

"Oh, shut up!" retorted Amanda, playfully, hiding her red face as she did so. Everyone, even Amanda, laughed afterwards, the teasing all meant in good fun. The game leader then walked in.

"After that comeback from the boys' team, we now have a tie-breaker round to settle the winner" said the game leader. Just then, a man from the maintenance team came in.

"Sir, we're having some problems with the power. The lads tell me it could cut out at any moment" said the maintenance worker.

"I'm sorry kids, but due to safety concerns, we have to cancel the 3rd round. We can't have you running around in the dark. As consolation, each of you take this coupon for a single round game with us. We hope you enjoyed your experience. Feel free to recommend us to all your friends" announced the game leader.

"Looks like we can't settle the score just yet. Oh well, it was still fun, and I prefer it this way" said Milo.

"Me too, and I had fun as well" replied Amanda, who was walking closer to Milo than she used to. She then added; "I hope we can do something together again soon." Milo blushed hard at this, which got a few 'ooooooooooooo's from the others. After they all went home, Shane dragged Melissa aside, wanting a private word, burning to get something off his chest.

"What is it?" asked Melissa, concerned.

"I didn't want to bring it up in front of the others, but you know that pain when you like someone who likes someone else?" replied Shane.

"Oh, do you like Amanda too? Well, I hate to break it to you, but I think she's getting into Milo, sorry" consoled Melissa.

"Actually" corrected Shane, he took a deep breath, then clarified; "it's the other way around." Melissa was shocked, to say the least. Shane then went on to say; "please keep it a secret for now, I'm not ready for people to know yet."

"Alright, your secret's safe with me" promised Melissa.

Elsewhere, Captain Albert Stevens was as an unusually shaped building, boarding the lift to the top floor. When he got there, he rang a doorbell belonging to a door labelled 'Doofenshmirtz'. The titular scientist answered.

"Can I help you?" Doofenshmirtz asked, when he opened the door.

"Yes" answered Albert, then continued; "I am told you create certain…..devices. I need you to make me something. I promise to pay you handsomely for your time."

"Oh no, I don't do that anymore. I am quite comfortable as a high school science teacher, and I promised some people I would not build those 'devices' anymore" answered Doofenshmirtz, taken aback as to how the stranger knew all about his past.

"I am well aware of your arrangement with OWCA, I represent an institute even they don't know about, and we have eyes and ears everywhere" clarified Albert.

"Then you must know that if I create one of my devices again I face considerable jail time. I don't know who you are, but if you don't leave, I'm calling Perry the Platypus!" threatened Doofenshmirtz.

"I represent an institute that maintains homeworld security. What you would be doing would be safeguarding the planet. I doubt OWCA would mind, but they wouldn't know anyway" insisted Albert.

Doofenshmirtz, not liking his visitor's tone, then went on; "they're monitoring this very room, you know. Any second now, a team of OWCA agents will come bursting down that door!"

"Do you think I'm a fool? I have been blocking all communications links in and out of this room since I walked in. If you don't believe me, feel free to check your phone" goaded Albert. Doofenshmirtz did so, and found he had no bars where there was previously a strong signal.

"As you can see, we are very powerful and well-funded, unlike that petting zoo of an agency, and that buffoon your friend Perry calls a boss. We can put your daughter through college or make your rap sheet so long you won't even be able to get out of this building without at least 7 different alphabet agencies knocking down the door. So, what is it going to be?" asked Albert, menacingly.

Author's note: This chapter took significantly less time to formulate in my head than the last one, but some revisions had to be made. Again I do not own Milo Murphy's Law or Phineas and Ferb, Disney and the genius duo, Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh do. Comments welcome, but please, no flames about a specific scene that happens at the end.


	3. The play's the thing

**The play's the thing**

Monday morning, and Milo and friends arrived at the classroom, after the usual happenings, of course, and Mr. Jones, the new teacher replacing Ms. Murawski, was at his desk.

"Anything interesting happen on the way, Milo?" Mr. Jones asked, by way of a friendly morning greeting.

"Not really, sir. Just another case of getting into the middle of a baseball game" answered Milo.

"Really? Who won?" inquired Mr. Jones.

"I don't know, we didn't stick around to find out. Too busy outrunning the bee swarms after we crashed into their hives" responded Milo.

Mr. Jones laughed and said; "It still amazes me how you can go through all that, yet still make it to class on time."

Milo and gang took their seats, and Mr. Jones begun his morning announcements.

"Right, so the school is putting on a production of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' Friday night. Anyone wishing to audition for a part should sign up on the sheet to be put on the noticeboard at lunchtime today" Mr. Jones announced to the class, which started a hushed discussion among the class as to who would try out for which part.

Mr. Jones then continued; "Also, anyone not wishing to act, but wants to help with costumes, lighting, etc. should see Ms. Whipley, as she will be overseeing the production."

Milo and the others discussed amongst themselves about what they would do for the play when class ended.

"Having seen myself act, I don't think I'll be going for a part" mused Milo, which piqued Shane's curiosity.

"When was that?" asked Shane, bemused.

"Oh, you weren't there for that. Basically, Milo here was in a Doctor Zone episode. The pilot, in fact, filmed 50 years ago" explained Melissa.

"I would ask how, but I think the answer would be equally unbelievable" said Shane.

"Yeah, plus we don't have time to reminisce anyway. The sign-up sheet just went up" observed Zack.

Everyone rushed to the board to sign up for roles they liked. Zack went for Lysander, and Melissa went for Hermia.

"Errrrrr….don't those two characters end up, you know?" asked Shane.

"It's just acting, it doesn't count" clarified Melissa.

"Oh well, in that case, I'll go for Demetrius, the handsome Athenian promised to dear Hermia" joked Shane, who then signed up for the role.

"Careful" warned Zack, then continued; "I hear Amanda's going for the role of Helena, the fiery young woman who seeks Demetrius' unrequited love."

"It's acting, it doesn't count" reiterated Shane, capitalising on Melissa's earlier point, and to put Milo at ease. It was at this point Melissa dragged Shane away from Milo and Zack for a few words. Milo and Zack wondered why this was, then put it out of their minds, as Milo wanted to see Ms. Whipley to ask if he could help 'Murphy's Law-proof' the stage.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Melissa, who, having known Shane's secret for a couple of days, was astounded to find Shane taking a role that would have him kiss a girl.

"It's just acting, I'll be fine. Plus, I love the theatre. Guess I got the acting bug" assured Shane.

Melissa chuckled at this, then composed herself and said; "Well, if you're sure."

"I'm sure. Also, if I can get on a stage and perform in front of a crowd of people without freaking out, I'll know I'm ready to confess" added Shane, which got Melissa very intrigued.

Meanwhile, at the Excalibur Institute, Captain Stevens and Doofenschmirtz were discussing the device he had built.

"As you can see, the 'Murphy's Law Extract-inator' scans the subject for any signs of 'the Law' and sucks it into this container here" explained Doofenschmirtz.

"Can it be used safely?" inquired Captain Albert. "I do not want the prime subject damaged" he went on.

"Yes, but unfortunately, it can't be used remotely. You would actually have to have the subject here, in the base" clarified Doofenschmirtz.

"Leave that detail to me" assured Albert.

"I am probably going to regret asking, but how did you get me here without attracting OWCA's attention? I keep expecting Perry the Platypus to barge down the door at any moment" inquired Doofenschmirtz.

Albert chuckled at this and replied; "My agent in OWCA has managed to write off my visit to your home to an equipment failure, and as of that time, you are taking an extended vacation to Drusselstein to reconnect with your estranged family. If you were hoping for a rescue, I'm afraid you'll be quite disappointed."

As Albert and Doofenschmirtz concluded their meeting, Albert's XO, Lieutenant Kilstone, walked in.

"I'm afraid there's been a security breach, sir. Cavendish and Dakota have escaped their confinement" lamented Kilstone.

"I anticipated as much, those time-travellers are craftier than they look. But they will inevitably try to warn Milo about us, which means we have to accelerate the timetable" mused Albert.

"Should I notify our agents in the field to be on the lookout for them, sir?" Kilstone suggested.

"Temporal Division is done with them, and they can't do any lasting damage. But do tell our field operatives that the plan has changed somewhat. As for Milo, I already have a piece in play. I'll be calling in a favour" explained Albert.

"Aye, sir" replied Kilstone.

Back in his office, Albert sent a few messages on his phone, then mused to himself; "All the pieces are in play, it's time for the endgame."

At the school play, everyone took to their assigned roles and began taking their places on the stage. Zack and Melissa were successful in their auditions, as were Shane and Amanda. Bradley tried for Lysander, to no avail, and instead got the part of Bottom, which everyone found amusing. Once all the safeguards against Murphy's Law were put in place, the play began.

"Not a bad turnout" mused Mr. Jones. "I've even spotted a few recruiters from talent agencies here tonight" he added.

"Students whisked off to Hollywood? That would be pretty cool" mused Milo. Just then, Milo heard Mr. Jones' phone go off. Mr. Jones picked it up, then said to Milo; "The lighting's making weird noises, do you think you can go and have a look?"

"Sure thing, sir" said Milo, and off he went. As Milo made his way to the lighting panel, he noticed some more weaknesses in his safeguards, and went about fixing those he could on the way.

On the stage, as the play went on, Amanda started noticing that, when Shane and her had scenes alone together that were supposed to be passionate, Shane grew increasingly uncomfortable. She would write this off to stage fright, but she also noticed Shane had no problems doing scenes where they were all together. Amanda thought it best not to pry, as she didn't know Shane that well and didn't think it was her place to ask.

When Milo reached the lighting panel, he found a number of loose bolts and screws and saw to fixing those. An intermission was called, and, to his surprise, Amanda came up to him.

"How are things back here?" Amanda inquired, hoping that everything would go perfectly.

"Nothing I can't handle" answered Milo.

Relieved, Amanda pressed on; "Anyway, I didn't want to pry, but is anything going on with Shane? He seems unsettled when we are on together."

Now that Amanda asked this, Milo, too, was curious. Melissa did drag him away very suddenly when they signed up.

"Honestly, I have no idea, but you should ask Melissa. Those two had some private words when sign-ups started" answered a concerned Milo.

"I will, thank you" replied Amanda, who set off to find her. When she did, Amanda got right to the point.

"Can I ask something, and if it is considered intrusive, I'll back off" said Amanda.

"OK" replied Melissa, who seemed caught off-guard.

"Is Shane alright? I've noticed he seemed a little uncomfortable" clarified Amanda.

"It's probably just stage fright, it'll pass" assured Melissa.

Unconvinced, Amanda pressed on; "I know stage fright, believe me, I took a psychology course over the summer, and that is not stage fright. Do you know something? Milo told me you dragged Shane away for private words."

Melissa knew Amanda was a smart girl, and, at this point, she knew the game was up. Still, she promised to keep it secret, and she still intended to do so. Unbeknownst to them, Shane was a few feet away, listening to everything. At that point, he piped up and said; "Go on, tell her, she'll find out soon enough, and I trust her."

"You sure?" inquired Melissa. Shane replied yes, then Melissa turned to Amanda;

"Shane has a crush" explained Melissa. Amanda heard this, then replied;

"I'm flattered, but I'm not into you like that. To tell the truth, I have my eye on someone else. I'm sorry."

"That's the problem, it's not on you" clarified Melissa, then added; "it's on Milo." Amanda gasped. To tell the truth, she thought that she would have to compete with Melissa for Milo's affections. This threw her for a complete loop. At least this explained everything. Thinking it all over for a minute, Amanda came to a response;

"I will be honest, Shane, I'm not sure how to process this. I have never competed with anyone over a boy before, much less another boy. I'll keep it secret if that's what you want, but I don't think Milo goes that way."

"That is what Melissa has been saying to me since she found out" replied Shane. He breathed deeply, then added; "You know what, it's time. Melissa, could you arrange for Milo and Zack to meet us at my place tomorrow morning?"

"Absolutely" said Melissa, relieved she would not have to play secret keeper any longer. Just then, Shane's phone went off. He picked it up, and said; "Mum's getting dinner ready. It'll be done in an hour or two." The signal that ended the intermission went off, and everyone got back on stage.

The rest of the play went off without a hitch, though Zack and Melissa shared some mild discomfort at having to kiss on stage. Shane and Amanda got away with a small peck on the lips, everyone took a bow, and the curtain went down to signal for everyone to leave.

The next morning, Zack and Milo got a text from Melissa to meet them at Shane's house, saying it was urgent. The two boys were very concerned, and headed off to Shane's house. Once they got there, Shane's mother and father showed them to his room, and they all sat down. Zack noticed a strange smell as he came in, but thought nothing of it, as he assumed that some household cleaning took place.

"Thank you for coming" said Shane, then he added; "The reason I asked you here is to get some things off my chest that have been bothering me for a while."

"We're always here for you" assured Milo.

"Yeah, you're a great guy to hang around with. Whatever's bothering you, we're all ears" added Zack.

"Thanks guys" responded Shane, feeling assured by the praise. He then went on; "First things first, the really big thing." This got them intrigued and concerned at the same time, but waited for Shane to speak regardless.

"Here goes" said Shane nervously, then continued; "Milo, I have a massive crush on you." This, the boys were not expecting. Milo was at a loss for words. Murphy's Law prepared him for wildfires, electrical hazards, etc. But nothing in his backpack could properly handle a boy having a crush on you. Zack, too, was obviously shocked, as he kept looking to Milo to say something. Not getting anything out of him, Zack simply asked;

"Did Melissa know?"

"She was the first one I told. Amanda sort of figured it out during last night's play, then Melissa spelled it out for her. Don't be mad at either of them because I asked them to keep it a secret" explained Shane.

Milo chose this moment to speak up, albeit rather weakly; "I gotta be honest Shane, right now, I'm feeling confused and slightly dizzy."

"Yeah, me too" added Zack.

"That's the second thing" Shane replied, then confessed; "While we've been talking, I've been pumping this room with a sedative gas. Anyone who hasn't been inoculated will start feeling dizzy, and eventually fall unconscious." At this point, Melissa started feeling the effects as well.

"Why?" Milo asked weakly, before blacking out, then Zack, and finally, Melissa. Shane's mother and father walked in and said; "They're here." Mr. Jones appeared, as well as several men in suits and gas masks. They took the three unconscious bodies, bound their hands, and loaded them into the back of a truck that had arrived soon after Milo, Melissa and Zack walked in. Elliot Decker, the crossing guard, was there as well, leading people away from the site.

"We have found a gas leak, please evacuate the premises for your own safety" Elliot announced, through a bullhorn. Cavendish and Dakota arrived later, saw the van, and recognised Excalibur's logo. They came to the conclusion, that they were too late.

Shane got into the truck with his now former friends, as he was doubtful that anyone would forgive him for this. His phone rang, and he said into it; "I got you what you wanted, Captain. Our debt is settled."

Author's note: I had a bit of writer's block coming up with this one. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this or the Doctor Zone immersion story. Oh well, at least it's done now. I do not own anything associated with Milo Murphy's Law or Phineas and Ferb. That is all Disney, Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. Comments welcome.


	4. Rescues and revelations

**Rescues and revelations**

"Milo? Milo?" said a voice, as Milo began to stir from his gas-induced sleep. He woke up, and found himself handcuffed and in the back of a moving truck, which, surprisingly, had seatbelts. Melissa and Zack were at either side of him, still out-cold, and ahead of him, was Shane, the reason why they were in this mess.

"Good, you're awake. The dizziness should wear off any minute" assured Shane.

"You have a funny way of saying 'I love you'" snarked Milo. He would have been able to respond to Shane's crush confession better, had he not been drugged, bound and thrown into the back of a truck. Melissa and Zack were starting to come around themselves.

"I know you probably hate me right now, but I would like a chance to explain before at least one of you tries to hit me" said Shane, guiltily.

"This had better be good!" seethed Melissa.

"Yeah, forgive us if we're cranky, getting arrested tends to do that to you!" added Zack.

"First off, you're not being arrested. This is an abduction" clarified Shane.

"Oh brilliant! That makes me feel loads better!" chimed Zack, sarcastically.

Shane brushed this off, then went on to explain; "second, I had a debt to settle with the one in charge of all this."

"A debt?! Oh charming, what are we supposed to be?! Collateral?!" spat Melissa. She and Zack were, understandably, not in a civil mood. Milo, on the other hand, was despondent at best.

"Perhaps I should start from the beginning" suggested Shane, with a more and more sombre tone.

"Please do" said Milo, sound more and more depressed as their involuntary truck ride went on.

"Well, it all happened when I went to visit family in Oregon, my aunt and uncle, in a sleepy little town off the beaten path called Gravity Falls" reminisced Shane.

 _Begin flashback_

"What happened to this place?" asked Shane, when he arrived at his aunt and uncle's tavern, which looked like someone had flipped it upside down, with his parents. Just then, the aunt and uncle in question came up to him.

"Hello, Shane, thank you all for coming to help rebuild the tavern" said Shane's aunt Hayley.

"Yes, you will never believe what happened here, but it's quite a story, let me tell you" added Shane's uncle David.

"The tavern literally flew up into the air, and fell back down again" explained Hayley, then she added; "I've heard of many weird things around town since setting up shop here, but I'd never thought I'd see any of it."

"I bet those Pines twins know what happened. Trouble always follows those two around" mused David.

"You see why we don't visit your aunt and uncle much, completely off their rockers" Shane's mother whispered to him. Hayley and David ignored this; after all, they were used to their scepticism.

With that conversation over, work began on rebuilding the tavern.

 _End flashback_

Meanwhile, at the Murphy house, Sara was preparing another weekend-long Doctor Zone marathon, when a knock came at the door.

"I'll get it!" Sara called to her mother and father. She opened the door, expecting to see the fellow Doctor Zone fans she invited over, but found Cavendish and Dakota instead.

"I know you, you're those time-travel guys that are always with Milo, where is he by the way? Last I heard, he was at a friend's house on an urgent matter" inquired Sara.

"That's why we're here" answered Cavendish, in a hushed tone, which got Sara a bit concerned.

"Milo and his friends have been grabbed" clarified Dakota, in an equally hushed tone.

"What?! Do you know by who?!" asked Sara, obviously very alarmed that someone kidnapped her brother.

"We'll tell you on the way to our time vehicle, we don't want to be overheard" responded Cavendish, and off they went to their aforementioned time vehicle, Sara trying hard not to both geek out at the possibility of actual time-travel, and cry because Milo had been kidnapped.

Once they got to the time vehicle, which was a normal, run-of-the-mill car, Sara trying to contain her disappointment, Cavendish explained the situation.

"They call themselves the Excalibur Institute. They are very interested in Milo and his…condition and they seem to have found a way to extract Murphy's Law, to what end we have no clue" explained Cavendish.

"We were, and I use this term loosely, 'guests' of theirs for a while, let me tell you, their food is lousy" added Dakota. Sara was trying to process all this. Not only was Milo in the hands of some super-secret institute, probably outside the government, but he may also be being horribly experimented on as they spoke. After taking a deep breath, Sara replied;

"We have to rescue him."

"Yeah, we owe him for that whole 'pistachian king' incident. Plus, I like him" added Dakota.

"I think I know where to start" piped Cavendish, and he added; "That crossing guard, or self-pronounced safety tsar, was leading people away from the house Milo was grabbed from."

"That's Elliot Decker" piped Sara.

"You know him?" asked Dakota.

"Not personally, but he does tend to get on Milo's case whenever he gets a chance" answered Sara.

"Sounds like a wild goose chase, but what else is there to go on?" wondered Cavendish.

"It'll do for now, let's go" barked Sara.

Meanwhile, at the back of the Excalibur truck, Melissa was not happy with the story Shane had told.

"That's it?! All this over a restored family tavern in some backwater?!" Melissa retorted.

"You didn't let me finish" responded Shane, then he continued his story; "The work to restore the tavern went by without any further problems. Then came the last weeks of summer."

 _Begin flashback_

"If there's nothing else we can do, we'll be on our way" said Shane's father Peter.

"Yes, we really should head back to Portland, need to get Shane his school supplies, we left it so late" added Shane's mother Jane.

"Thank you for everything, you've been a tremendous help" thanked Hayley. Just then, David came bursting into the place, looking like he had seen his worst nightmares.

"We got a massive problem out here!" David exclaimed, and they all went out, to find the sky had, turned orange, had a massive cross-shaped hole in it, and a flying triangle with one eye calling itself Bill Cipher, accompanied by who-knows-what ugly creatures, proclaiming the universe his own.

"Welcome, one and all, to Wierdmageddon!" Bill echoed, which signalled to Shane, the beginning of the end of the world as he knew it.

"We have to get out of here, now!" yelled Jane, frantically.

"Get in the car!" ordered Peter. But it was too late. What looked like eyes with wings started flooding the sky and turning people to stone.

"Run!" yelled Hayley, but the eye-bats got to her and David. Shane, Peter and Jane, all ran, but Shane's parents were too slow. Shane could hardly watch as his beloved parents were petrified right in front of him. All he could do was run. Shane had been a boy scout in his childhood, and armed with his survival knowledge, he scoured the ruins that were once called Gravity Falls for shelter and food.

After four days of hiding in the Gravity Falls convenience store, rationing what good food was left behind in the wake of the disaster, it all just reversed itself. He didn't know, or care, what happened, Shane was just relieved that it was over. He later heard that a team of heroes infiltrated Bill's castle and defeated him. Afterwards, the town was ordered to keep the events quiet by the mayor, obviously, Bill never got past Gravity Falls' border.

 _End flashback_

On the streets, Elliot was going about his usual crossing-guard routine, when Sara, Cavendish and Dakota walked up to him.

"I'm only going to ask you once. Where. Is. Milo?!" demanded Sara. Elliot stared at her in bemusement. Sara was not taking his silence for an answer.

"Don't give me that! You were leading people away from the scene when the kidnapping occurred. Talk, or I'll make you!" threatened Sara, not caring about anything else than getting the answers she came for.

Elliot was confused and intimidated at the same time, so he responded; "Look, I got an anonymous call about a gas leak at the Miller house, then some guys in white said they were from the gas company and that they would sort it out when I got there. That's all I know, I swear!"

Sara studied him carefully, then said' "Alright, I'm convinced, but did the caller call your cell phone or a landline?"

"He called my cell phone; I know it's a he because he sounded like a guy" said Elliot.

"Do you have your cell phone on you, and if so, can I use it briefly?" quizzed Sara. Elliot handed over his phone, and Sara began to look over the call history. Sara found the last received call, and dialled the number.

"Hello?" said the voice on the other side.

"To whom am I speaking?" asked Sara.

"Mr. Jones, a teacher at Jefferson County Middle School, who is this?" wondered Mr. Jones, bemused by this unexpected phone call.

Sara, having found another lead, quickly said; "wrong number, sorry!" and hung up. She then shared an idea with Cavendish and Dakota.

"Milo's new teacher, Mr. Jones, placed the call about the 'gas leak', so he must know something" Sara suggested.

"Not much, but neither was this, let's go" replied Dakota, and off they went, when Elliot piped up.

"Of course, if Milo's gone, no more Murphy's Law mishaps. Why look a gift horse in the mouth, I say" Elliot commented, at this point, Sara ran up to him and gave him a strong talking-to.

"Listen you, I don't care that you think Milo is a town menace or that Murphy's Law is a disease that needs curing. Right now, my brother could be in mortal peril, and I will do anything and everything to get him back, and if anyone, ANYONE, stands in my way, I will nail them to the wall. Am I clear?" seethed Sara. Elliot silently nodded, and Sara, Cavendish and Dakota left.

Back at the Excalibur truck, Milo, Melissa and Zack were having trouble believing Shane's story.

"I've heard some crazy stories before, but that takes the cake and every other cake on the shelf" said Zack, unconvinced of Shane's story. Milo, however, was in contemplation.

"Gravity Falls? I read about that, everything said that those were natural disasters coinciding with mining tunnel collapses, now you're telling us it was this freak Bill?" wondered Milo, still in need of some convincing.

"That was the Excalibur Institute, the ones that have you now, they are good at hiding the truth, to prevent public panic and hide their activities" explained Shane.

"OK, say we believe you, and I'm not saying we are" cautioned Melissa, then she added; "you still haven't explained how the Excalibur Institute hired you."

"They didn't hire me, I made a deal with their captain, a man called Albert Stevens" clarified Shane.

"What was the deal?" inquired Milo.

"It all started after I got back to Portland" answered Shane, and he began to reminisce again.

 _Begin flashback_

Shane woke up with a fright at one o'clock in the morning, after having yet another nightmare. The school had already noticed that Shane had come in yawning, and he dozed off during class, which led them to call Shane's parents, asking what was going on. The guidance councillor referred them to a therapist. The appointment was booked, and after more hours of restless sleep, Shane and his parents walked into the clinic.

"Excuse me, we have an appointment with Councillor Stevens today" Jane told the receptionist. She confirmed the booking, and Shane and family took seats in the waiting area. After twenty minutes, the Miller family were ushered into Councillor Stevens' office, and Shane took the position on the couch.

"Thank you for coming. Tell me what brings you here" greeted Councillor Stevens.

"It's a little hard to believe, but Shane has been having nightmares about Gravity Falls, and the…unpleasantness that took place there" explained Jane.

At this point, Councillor Stevens checked the windows and the door to make sure no-one was listening. After ensuring no eavesdroppers could hear them, he said;

"Whatever's said in this room will be taken with the strictest confidence."

"Everyone keeps telling me that the incident was a natural disaster, but I know what I saw, I'm not crazy" Shane insisted, clearly still disturbed by his experience.

"There is no need to convince me, Shane, I believe you" assured Councillor Stevens, in a calming tone.

"You do?" asked Shane, shocked that someone finally believed him about Wierdmageddon.

"Yes, and I will be equally candid with you" answered Stevens, which piqued Shane's interest. Stevens then asked;

"After Wierdmageddon, there were two types of people in Gravity Falls; those that believe Bill was destroyed, and those that don't, which category do you fall under?"

At this point, the family answered at the same time; "We don't!" Shane's father, then added;

"I'm sorry, but I saw what Bill could do with my own eyes. Something that powerful and scheming must have had a backup plan in case he ever met his match."

"Then you, Mr. Miller, have a common opinion with the U.S. government" clarified Stevens.

"What?!" exclaimed Peter.

"Let me explain, first, I'm not a therapist. I'm a captain, in charge of an organisation called the Excalibur Institute" explained Captain Stevens, then he went on to explain about how the Institute was secretly formed by the White House to study threats like Bill, and to fight them should their intentions be hostile.

"When Bill came, the White House concluded that, against him and others like him, we were outnumbered and outgunned, so they formed the Institute, and kept it under a very thick shadow. Only the President and high- level intelligence agency directors know about us and what we do" Captain Stevens concluded.

"So what do you want from us?" asked Jane.

"Nothing that taxing" assured Stevens, then he added; "I was made aware you were having nightmares about Wierdmageddon from one of my agents. I can have those treated, but I do want something from you in exchange,"

Shane thought about this, then replied; "Alright, what do you want?"

"The Institute has been studying a high concentration of Murphy's Law in the Tri-State Area. A boy, someone named Milo, has chaos following him wherever he goes. I need you to get close to him, and see if he will give up his curse willingly, and if not, then you must bring him to me by any means" outlined Stevens.

"Why wouldn't he give up his curse?" inquired Shane.

"Beats me" answered Stevens. Shane thought about the arrangement, then finally said; "I'll do it, anything to get rid of these nightmares."

"I'll arrange to have you relocated to the Tri-State Area, close to Milo. Once there, someone from a sleep centre will meet you to arrange treatment for recurring nightmares. I will also assign you a handler to keep tabs on you whilst you are at Jefferson County Middle School" explained Stevens.

"What about my school here in Portland?" realised Shane.

"And our jobs?" added Peter

"Don't worry, your transfer to Jefferson County will be written off as part of the healing process, and I can also arrange better paying jobs in the Tri-State Area" clarified Stevens. With that, the appointment came to a close.

"That concludes our appointment. Feel free to make another one should the problems persist. Thank you again for coming" concluded Stevens, and the Miller family walked out the door.

 _End flashback_

Sara, Cavendish and Dakota tracked down Mr. Jones, and Sara immediately began interrogating him.

"Where is my brother?!" asked Sara, very sharply.

"I don't know" answered Mr. Jones, but no-one was convinced

"Don't play dumb, I saw you with those Excalibur goons when they took him from the Miller house" Dakota retorted.

"And I know it was you who placed that anonymous call to Decker, so start talking!" demanded Sara. Mr. Jones knew, at this point, not to argue, so he decided to tell them everything.

"Alright, yes, I am with Excalibur, but I am just a handler" confessed Mr. Jones.

"To who?" interrogated Sara.

"That boy Shane; the captain assigned me to ensure there were no problems, and that Shane could carry out his end of their bargain" explained Mr. Jones.

"Captain?" replied Sara.

"You mean Captain Albert Stevens, right?" asked Cavendish. Mr. Jones confirmed the name. This piqued Sara's interest.

"You know him?" asked Sara.

"He was the one who caught us, he's a real piece of work" explained Dakota. Sara decided the time for talk was over, and then suggested;

"Can you get me inside the Institute?

Mr. Jones laughed at this, then clarified; "Listen, girl. You do not find the Excalibur Institute, the Excalibur Institute finds you"

"Is that so?" mused Sara, then she added; "that gives me an idea."

At the Excalibur truck, Milo and friends were thinking about Shane's story in their heads. Zack was not happy about the arrangement, Melissa was trying to be sympathetic, and Milo was thinking about something in his head.

"That's all of it" concluded Shane, sombrely

"So you traded us in exchange for getting rid of a few bad dreams? Nice to know I'm so cheap!" retorted Zack.

"Calm down, Zack. He had been through the worst ordeal imaginable and it still haunted him. I probably would've done it myself" replied Melissa. Milo finally came to asking the question that had plagued him since Shane started his story.

"Just tell me one thing. Was your crush on me a part of the ruse, or was it genuine?" wondered Milo.

"It was genuine. Mr. Jones even wanted to pull me from the mission" explained Shane. Milo came to a conclusion.

"I can't condone your actions, but I think I understand why you did it. While I still find flying triangles and the end of the world hard to believe, I have been there, wanting to get rid of a curse that haunts me, admittedly, even now" mused Milo.

Just then, the truck came to a stop, signalling to Shane that they have arrived at Excalibur HQ. The back door was opened, and all of them were led out into the building. An authoritarian-like figure greeted them. Shane recognised him as Captain Stevens.

"Hello boys and girl, welcome to Excalibur" Captain Stevens greeted.

Author's note: To be honest, I already had Shane's backstory in my head even before Chapter 1. That'll teach me to sub to the 'George Lucas' method of storytelling. As usual, I do not own Milo Murphy's Law, Disney, Dan and Swampy do. Also, I do not own Gravity Falls, Disney and Alex Hirsch, who is also a genius, do.


	5. The endgame

**The endgame**

"So, you're Milo Murphy?" asked Albert, then he added; "it's great to finally meet you."

"There are better ways of saying 'hello' than this" retorted Milo, obviously referring to the kidnapping. Albert looked at his bindings, then said;

"I think those can come off" and with that, he clicked a remote control in his pocket, and the cuffs on Milo, Melissa and Zack, came off.

"You sure you wanna do that?" cautioned Zack. Albert laughed softly at this.

"Look around you. You're in my dominion now. Make to strike me, and within 10 seconds, a team of my best security officers will have you on the floor and rebound. So, if you feel lucky, by all means, go ahead" Albert goaded, and Zack backed off.

"Rest assured, once we're done, you will all be free to leave. I have no intentions of keeping you here indefinitely, provided you co-operate peacefully, that is" explained Albert.

"With what?" inquired Milo.

"As Shane no doubt told you already, this institute has studied your condition for some time, and we believe we can rid you of it" clarified Albert. Milo pondered this last statement carefully. He had secretly wondered what life would be like without his curse, to not have to fear for the lives of those closest to him. He had accepted his curse for the longest time, that life without it seemed unreachable, until now.

"That's insane! You can't honestly expect to cure Murphy's Law, and besides, Milo doesn't want that!" exclaimed Melissa.

"I think Milo can speak for himself" responded Albert.

"Come on, Milo, this guy's crazy! You can't believe this garbage! Murphy's Law isn't a disease that can be cured" pressed Melissa, but Milo was thinking carefully.

"Isn't it, Melissa? Neither you nor I really knows what it is" countered Milo, then he turned to Albert.

"Is it safe?" asked Milo nervously.

"I wouldn't have brought you here if it wasn't. I do not mean you or your friends any harm" replied Albert. Milo considered his words carefully, then said;

"I'll do it. But only if you keep my friends safe during our stay here" outlined Milo, and Albert agreed.

"They'll be our honoured guests, not our prisoners, whilst they are here" assured Albert. He then turned to a man whom Milo assumed was his XO.

"Kilstone, show Milo and his friends to their quarters. I will inform the lab that the subject has arrived and that testing should proceed soon" ordered Albert, and the man known as Kilstone acknowledged the orders, and ushered them to their temporary living quarters.

Back at the Murphy house, Sara was putting the first part of her rescue plan into motion, Cavendish and Dakota silently observing.

"If what Mr. Jones said is true, then we have no hope of finding Excalibur HQ on our own" explained Sara.

"Well, aren't you a fountain of optimism" replied Dakota sarcastically.

"Let her finish, she's got this far" said Cavendish.

"Thank you, Cavendish. As I was saying, if we can't find Excalibur, we have to make them find us" clarified Sara. This got Cavendish and Dakota very worried.

"Look, we were already caught by them once, and I am not gonna repeat the experience" retorted Dakota.

"Who said anything about getting caught?" replied Sara, rhetorically. She typed something on her laptop, and proceeded to wait.

"I just put 'Excalibur Institute' into a search engine. If they really have eyes and ears everywhere, agents will come through that door any minute now. We just need to incapacitate them once they arrive" outlined Sara. Dakota and Cavendish thought this was incredibly foolhardy.

"Are you mad?! They'll get the jump on us!" exclaimed Cavendish.

"That is why I got this chloroform" replied Sara, then she added; "we knock them out with this, put on their uniforms as disguises, and hope that their GPS leads us straight to them."

"And if it doesn't?" wondered Cavendish.

"Look, I'll admit the plan has holes, but it's the only one we've got. Unless you two have a better plan, this is what we're doing" admitted Sara. The plan left a lot to chance, but when you're a Murphy, chance tends to go in your favour a lot, after everything that could go wrong already has.

Soon enough, the agents arrived, under the ruse that they were checking the meter, and Sara, Cavendish and Dakota put them under with Sara's chloroform. Luckily, three agents arrived, and all of them had disguises that fit the trio. Sara, Cavendish and Dakota got into the van they parked outside, and sure enough, a GPS route leading them to the Murphy house was on the screen.

"All we need to do now is reverse the directions and we should be at their base" said Sara. But Dakota was having reservations.

"I don't know about this. Everything I know about Murphy's Law tells me that we can only have this much luck if something goes majorly wrong down the line" mused Dakota, nervously.

"Relax, Murphy's Law only affect the males of the family anyway, we'll be fine" assured Sara, and off they went.

Back at the institute, Milo, Melissa, Zack and Shane were discussing their new situation.

"I can't believe this. I never knew you wanted to be rid of Murphy's Law" said Melissa, still reeling from the fact that Milo agreed to Albert's crazy plan.

"I'll be honest with you guys, I do wonder what life would be like without 'the Law'" answered Milo, then he added "not having to fear for the safety of those closest to me would be a nice change."

"If I'd known that, I would've revealed myself to you sooner, and the kidnapping could've been avoided" chimed Shane, then he went on to say that Milo probably wouldn't have believed him anyway, as he earned a glare from Zack.

"You said your mission was to persuade me to give up the curse. So, what prompted us being kidnapped, anyway?" wondered Milo.

"From what I understand, Albert was holding two men claiming to be time-travellers that knew you. After pressing them for info, the two men escaped their confinement. Albert must've been worried that they'd tip you off, and signalled Mr. Jones and I to accelerate the plan" explained Shane.

"Cavendish and Dakota" realised Melissa.

"Yeah, the institute's temporal division wanted to talk to them about unauthorised time travel" clarified Shane. Zack was examining their new room. While the two bunk-beds, shower room with unlimited hot water and specialised 3D printer that replicated food whenever they wished was nice, in Zack's mind, a cell by any other name is still a cell.

"So, what's the escape plan?" asked Zack, eager to leave as soon as possible.

"Vent shafts?" suggested Melissa.

"I looked, they're a bit too small for us to fit" replied Zack.

"Sneak out in the middle of the night?" countered Melissa. Shane laughed at this.

"The Institute's probably got countermeasures like lockdowns and night patrols to prevent any night-time wanderings" mused Shane. Zack looked to Milo.

"What do you think?" inquired Zack.

"Well" answered Milo, then he chimed in; "Albert's gone to all this trouble to get me here, and now that he has us, he is not gonna let us go easily. He'll be prepared for anything we try, so that's why I bargained for your safety." Zack could not believe what Milo was implying.

"So you're saying we should just sit it out? In case you haven't noticed, we're prisoners here!" remarked Zack.

"Guests. If we were prisoners, we'd be in cells" corrected Shane.

"SHUT UP!" snapped Zack and Melissa. Milo tried to defuse the tension.

"Look, we are not gonna get anywhere fighting like this. It's getting late, so let's sleep on it and we'll think about our options in the morning" suggested Milo.

"Fine. But I'm sleeping with one eye open, and I'm not sharing a bunk with him" replied Zack, pointing a finger at Shane. Shane thought it best not to argue, as Zack hated him enough as it was. Milo and Zack shared one bunk bed, and Melissa and Shane took the other; Zack warning Melissa to also sleep with one eye open.

In the Excalibur vehicle, Sara, Cavendish and Dakota stopped at a nearby motel to get something to eat, stay the night and plan their rescue operation.

"From what we remember during our stay at Excalibur HQ, the complex is massive. Albert could be holding Milo anywhere, and we couldn't get any schematics from the place before we escaped" briefed Cavendish.

"So we're going into enemy territory blind? That's comforting" mused Sara.

"I believe once we get inside, we should split up to cover more ground. The faster we find Milo, the faster we can get out of there before anyone realises it's us" suggested Cavendish.

"We should also keep in contact with each other if we're gonna split up, so everyone take an earpiece" instructed Dakota, and he presented three earpieces, one for each of them to take. Once Dakota showed Sara how to operate the earpiece, the plan was finalised.

Once they all went to sleep, setting their alarm to leave early, as time was, ironically, not on their side, Sara lay awake for a few seconds more.

"I promise, Milo, I'll get you back home" Sara vowed quietly, and settled down to sleep.

The next morning, at Excalibur HQ, Milo and friends awoke with varying levels of sleep; Shane, still racked with guilt at getting his new friends and crush into this mess, Zack and Melissa barely getting any sleep at all due to them watching for more treachery from Shane, and Milo not knowing what to believe anymore. Once they got up and had breakfast from the 3D printer, Albert walked into the room.

"Good morning, sleep well?" asked Albert, by way of a morning greeting.

"I'll sleep better in my own bed" retorted Zack. Albert chuckled.

"Charming as always" replied Albert, then he turned to Milo. "The lab guys tell me the 'Murphy's Law Extract-inator' is ready for you, so if you'll follow me, we can get started" he outlined.

"The name needs work" snarked Melissa. Albert chuckled at this, too.

"Yes, I know. I didn't bring in the scientist who built it for his naming skills. You'd think if you put one guy's daughter through college for his work, he would put some effort into calling his creation something nifty" Albert mused. He motioned for them to follow him, and they all left the room.

"Zack, are you mad at me?" asked Milo, choosing now to address the argument last night.

"No. I shouldn't have snapped at you, it's just this situation is very new to me and it threw me for a loop" responded Zack, apologetically.

"Yeah, me too" replied Milo.

"What, all that property damage from Murphy's Law and you did not once get thrown in jail. Or even sent a bill?" wondered Zack.

"The police did come knocking once in a while, but once my dad briefed them on 'the Law' we had an arrangement where, if I didn't do it on purpose, no action would be taken. Plus, I brief new recruits on 'the Law' once a year" explained Milo. Once they got to the lab, they were introduced to the inator's creator.

"This is Heinz Doofenschmirtz. He'll be leading you through the process. Heinz assures me it's completely safe. Major Smith wants an update, so I'll leave you in his capable hands" briefed Albert, and he left for his office. Doofenschmirtz turned to Milo and his friends.

"So, you're Milo Murphy. You know, when Albert told me about you I honestly didn't think you were real. How can someone live with a cyclone of calamity following them everywhere they go?" asked Doofenschmirtz.

"You learn" replied Milo, and Doofenschmirtz explained how his inator worked.

"So all I have to do is sit in that chair and the machine does the rest?" wondered Milo, a bit underwhelmed. He had expected an organisation like Excalibur to come up with something a bit more elaborate.

"Pretty much" answered Doofenschmirtz. He then proceeded to warn Milo; "You know, I haven't really tested this machine, due to the lack of any real test subjects, but I know it's safe."

"How?" asked Melissa, quite alarmed at this development.

"Albert wants you intact. If anything happened to you, he'd have my hide" clarified Doofenschmirtz.

"Fair enough" replied Zack. Milo got into the chair, and Doofenschmirtz turned it on. Instead of mild pain, as Milo honestly expected, he felt like his bones just vanished, like he was getting an exceptionally relaxing massage at the spa.

"It's like all my troubles are flowing away" Milo said, sounding like he was under some kind of trance, or spouting nonsense under dental anaesthetic.

"Oh great, I've built a happy machine" retorted Doofenschmirtz.

Back at his office, Albert was taking a video call from a figure who was wholly darkened, so no-one could make out any facial features. This was Major Smith.

"Do you have the boy?" asked Major Smith. The voice was distorted; another security feature to hide his identity.

"We have him, sir, and testing has already begun. Doofenschmirtz tells me the machine makes him feel like he's on cloud 9" answered Albert.

"Good, the sooner Murphy's Law is extracted, the better. I don't want you-know-who to get a hold of it. Speaking of which, has there been any unusual activity from the vault?" inquired Major Smith.

"No, sir. Even with Milo in the base, security tells me no unusual readings have occurred in proximity to the vault" explained Albert. He then asked; "Do you anticipate any problems, sir?"

"With him, anything is possible. Double the guard on the vault. If anything happens, no matter how insignificant, alert me immediately" ordered Major Smith. Albert acknowledged the ordered, and the call was terminated.

At the motel, Sara, Cavendish and Dakota ate breakfast, checked out, and resumed their course towards Excalibur HQ.

"We should be there within the hour, so let's go over the plan one more time" suggested Cavendish, and the trio reiterated the plan, which was to split up, find Milo and get out. Cavendish would search any laboratories they might have in which they may be experimenting on Milo, Dakota would search the cells and/or living quarters where they would keep Milo in between testing sessions, and Sara would look in any storage facilities in case Milo may be being held in one of those.

Once they arrived at Excalibur HQ, the guards took one look at them and the credentials they stole, and waved them in. Sara was counting her blessings that those actually worked, Cavendish and Dakota as well, although they did some tech trickery to forge their faces on the stolen creds.

"OK, we're inside. I think if we don't find Milo within the hour, we meet back here and come up with another plan. Agreed?" suggested Sara. They all agreed, and split up to search their designated locations. It was lucky that they took the agents' communication devices when they knocked them out, because Sara had a nasty feeling that, if they hadn't, security would've been tighter, although she did catch a whisper of security being doubled at a place known as 'the vault'. She speculated that that was where Milo was, and proceeded to follow them.

Cavendish proceed to search the laboratory wing, where he found a room labelled 'Murphy's Law testing'. He had presumably found what he had been looking for, and entered. Milo was not here, however, instead, he found a slouching scientist.

"You're too late, your associates already escorted Milo and his friends back to their room" explained the scientist, who introduced himself as Heinz Doofenschmirtz.

"Where are they staying, exactly?" asked Cavendish.

"At the guest wing, didn't they tell you that?" wondered Doofenschmirtz, bewildered at how the agent in front of him did not know this.

"It's my first day" Cavendish lied. Doofenschmirtz considered this, then responded;

"OK" he said, then directed Cavendish to the guest wing where Milo was. Cavendish thanked him, and set off. He reached Dakota on his earpiece and informed him of what he had learned. Dakota said he was on his way there now, and the two met up at the guest wing. Once they reached Milo's room, they waved themselves past the guard that had been set up, and entered to find Milo, for lack of a better word, loopy.

"What happened to him?" asked a shocked Dakota.

"They hooked him up to this extracting machine that literally sucks Murphy's Law out of you" explained Zack.

"Grampa, tell me the story about the hippo" drooled an increasingly incoherent Milo.

"We can't move him out of here in this condition. We'll be found" remarked Cavendish.

"That you will" said a voice behind them. It was Albert. Apparently he chose this time to check on his guests.

When she reached the vault, Sara found it really well guarded. Fortunately, none of the guards had seen her. She just knew Milo was behind the vault door, and had to think of something to draw the guards away. She thought quickly, and came up with a solution.

"The captain told me to relieve you for this shift" Sara lied.

"What, you're gonna guard this by yourself?" asked the guard. Sara nodded. Fortunately, Excalibur's grunts weren't too bright, because they stormed off, complaining that the security chief doesn't tell them anything. The last obstacle between Sara and Milo, was a code lock. Cavendish gave her a device that, he said, could crack any code in 30 seconds. Sara got it out, applied the device to the keypad, and it immediately began work on the lock. The door slowly opened, and Sara went inside.

To her surprise, she found it empty and dark. It was starkly apparent that Milo was not here, but she was curious nonetheless. She found a light switch, turned it on, and wished she hadn't. All she saw was a statue, which, Sara thought, was not pretty to look at. It resembled a triangle, only it had one eye in the middle, was wearing a top hat, and had a hand outstretched, along with other humanoid limbs.

"Well, this won't win the Turner Prize, but it would make a decent Doctor Zone monster" Sara mused to herself. At this point, a monitor above the statue flicked on, and an animated version of that statue appeared on it.

"Doctor Zone? Give me some credit, I deserve better than cheap sci-fi" retorted the figure. Sara jumped at this, and felt something between fear and fascination. Deciding to stick to the task at hand, she made to walk away. The figure noticed this, because then he said;

"Why are you here? Only Captain Stevens and Major Smith have authorisation to be here?"

"I'm here for my brother, Milo. He was grabbed by this place and I came to rescue him" answered Sara, bemused that she was having a conversation with a floating piece of trigonometry homework that someone had doodled on.

"Milo Murphy, hmmmm?" pondered the figure. He thought for a minute, and then said;

"You know what, I think I can help you rescue your brother. All I want is a small favour in return."

"Wait, how do you know that's my brother? I never said he was a Murphy!" asked Sara, alarmed.

"Oh, I see many things from here in this vault. Let me show you" answered the flying triangle, and then it showed Sara camera footage of Milo's room. Cavendish and Dakota were there, as well as an authoritarian-looking figure. Sara assumed he was the one in charge, and that Cavendish and Dakota had been caught. Sara noted that Milo looked like he had too much cough syrup.

"What did they do to him?!" demanded Sara.

"Hooked him up to a device that literally extracts Murphy's Law. The things these people come up with. He is so out of it" explained the figure.

"Milo" said Sara, weakly. One-eyed Pythagoras noted her distress.

"I can put him right, but I need you to do something first" stated the figure. When Sara asked what, he simply replied;

"Look down at your feet." Sara did so, and she saw what looked like hair encircling the statue. "That's my prison. Pull that apart, and I'll be free to cure your brother."

"Prison!" Sara noted. "What did you do?!" she further asked.

"That's not important, do you want to help your brother or not?!" the figure insisted. Sara thought frantically, then simply said "Alright" and pulled the hair apart.

"Well, well, well, looks like Bill Cipher's come back to play!" the figure Sara now knew as Bill echoed, and he vanished from the monitor. The statue vanished as well.

"Wait! What about our deal! Come back!" Sara yelled to no avail. Bill was gone, and Sara knew she made a horrible mistake. Acting instinctively, she rushed to the lift, and proceed to make her way to Milo's room.

Back at Milo's room, Albert was interrogating the new/old arrivals.

"I didn't think you would be in a rush to come back after your last visit. If you wanted a job, all you had to do was ask me for one" Albert said smugly.

"Like we'd ever work for you!" retorted Dakota.

"Was this a rescue attempt? Seems very poorly planned" responded Albert.

"Well, we didn't come up with it, she did" answered Cavendish, who nodded towards Sara when she suddenly arrived looking very distressed. Panting, she asked Albert.

"Do you know anyone called Bill Cipher. I may have released him from his prison, and….oh no!" panted Sara. Everyone turned around to find a statue had suddenly appeared. Albert looked very distressed at this, looked to Milo, and said in a panic;

"Wake. Him. Up!"

"We've tried, he's completely zoned out!" answered Melissa.

"That's Bill Cipher? He's real?!" asked Zack.

"Yes, and he can haunt people's dreams and even possess them, now wake Milo up!" ordered Albert, still distressed.

In Milo's inator-fuelled dream, he was riding on a train with no other passengers, when an unusual-looking conductor came up to him.

"Tickets, please?"

"Who are you, and how did I get here?" wondered Milo.

"Name's Bill Cipher, and you're in quite a state, let me tell you. It's fun to watch, but I really must get down to business" said the conductor Milo now knew as Bill, the demon Shane described, but Milo didn't think was real.

"Shane told me about you, you almost caused the end of the world!" rebuked Milo.

"Yeah, it's a real downer that Shane got you into this mess. He had a real thing for you. Guess that ship's sunk" mused Bill.

"Well, whatever you want, you can forget it! I am not making deals with you!" retorted Milo.

"I wouldn't sing that tune with me after you've seen what I can do! Did you know Excalibur HQ has a means of eliminating biological and chemical agents? I think it goes along the lines of decompressing a room, sucking out its oxygen. Would be a shame if anyone was still inside" said Bill, threateningly.

"You wouldn't dare" said Milo weakly, but Bill showed him what was happening in the 'awake' world. The entire room was sealed shut, and the air was being sucked out. Milo could only watch in terror.

"You can stop this, if you wake up and shake the statue's hand. You only have a couple minutes though. Make them count" goaded Bill, and Milo woke up, to find his friends suffocating before him. Milo made towards the statue, but Shane stopped him by grabbing his ankle.

"Milo, don't" pleaded Shane, weakly. He went on to say; "if Bill returns, he'll kill us all. We don't matter, just don't let him in" was all he could manage before passing out. Milo was having none of it. His friends, yes, even Shane, did matter to him. He took the statue's hand into his own. What happened next, even Doctor Zone writers couldn't imagine. The statue turned to dust, and that dust made its way into Milo's very skin.

Once the dust had settled, so to speak, the room repressurised. Milo moved to Shane and, with all the CPR training he received from his father, gave Shane mouth-to-mouth resuscitation with one deep breath. Shane coughed for air, and started breathing normally. After checking that everyone else was breathing as well, Milo fell to the floor, oxygen starved, and said, finally;

"Well Shane, looks like you got me to kiss you after all" and with that, Milo finally passed out.

"Milo? Milo?" said a voice as Milo began to stir and wake up. It was Albert, who had obviously ordered them all taken to the medical bay once he had regained consciousness. Milo looked around and saw his friends all unconscious and with oxygen masks over their faces.

"They will all be fine, just a little oxygen starvation" assured Albert.

"Bill is inside me now, what does this mean?" wondered Milo, bleakly.

"I will not lie" answered Albert, and he explained; "The real reason we wanted to extract Murphy's Law was to prevent Bill using it as a weapon or power source. Now that's he's inside you he'll most likely feed on it until he regains his former power."

"Sara said she released him" realised Milo.

"Yes, during a rescue attempt she somehow got into the vault. From there, Bill must've tricked her into breaking the chain that kept his powers, however weak they were, contained" clarified Albert. This got Milo very concerned.

"Are you going to lock me up now? Bill's in me now, aren't I a threat?" wondered Milo, fearful for the answer.

"No" assured Albert. "But I would be remiss if we didn't monitor the situation closely. To that end, I am keeping Shane and Mr. Jones where they are. They'll tell me if Bill starts acting up" Albert further explained. Milo's friends began waking up one by one. Zack was horrified. Not only did he discover that Bill Cipher was real, but he had experienced his power for himself. Zack and Melissa now understood what Shane and Excalibur had been fighting.

"Shane, I am so sorry for the cold shoulder treatment. I had no idea Bill was that maniacal, or real" Zack apologised.

"Yeah, me too" added Melissa.

"That's OK, I wouldn't have believed me either" said Shane, forgivingly. Shane asked Albert what was going to happen next, and Albert explained what happened between Milo and Bill.

"So Bill's feeding on Murphy's Law now? Do you still want me around Milo and the others?" wondered Shane.

"Now more than ever" clarified Albert, then he added "this extended assignment will also give you some things to discuss amongst yourselves." Albert then left the medbay, and went back to his office. After discharging Milo and company and sending them home, under the ruse of a sleepover at Shane's house, Albert called Major Smith to update him on the current situation.

"So Bill's loose?" asked Major Smith. Albert confirmed the bad news, then Major Smith said; "we should meet to discuss a contingency plan." After setting up a time and place, Albert went to the designated location, and before him stood not one, but two cloaked figures. Both were Major Smith. Another security measure was to have two Major Smiths at one time; one main Smith, and another backup Smith to take over should the other one be unavailable, compromised, or killed.

"Both of you here at once? Now I know this is a disaster" joked Albert, but the cloaked figures were not laughing.

"Bill getting loose was inevitable, all we hoped to do was buy time" stated Smith #1.

"But now the time is spent, and we must act now" added Smith #2.

"What do you have in mind?" wondered Albert.

"We assemble the zodiac again, and hope nothing goes wrong" answered Smith #1.

"But two of them are out at sea, with no means of contact" retorted Albert.

"Leave that to us" responded Smith #2.

"Your job is to monitor Milo carefully, and prevent anyone else from starting his work again" instructed Smith #1. Albert acknowledged this.

"In the meantime, we will be following a lead in California about a source of power Bill could potentially exploit to help either open the portal to the Nightmare Realm, or rebuild his body" followed Smith #2.

"You two think of everything" mused Albert, then he concluded; "but I wouldn't expect anything else."

The two Smiths took off their cloaks, and Albert could see the figures of Dipper and Mabel Pines standing before him.

"Trust me, we got this" assured Dipper, before he and his twin sister turned around to leave.

Author's note: This is the finale to Milo's part of the Excalibur Saga, for now. I intend to write more based on Phineas and Ferb and SVTFOE, to highlight what Bill has in mind for those sets of protags. This chapter is longer than I intended, I had no idea it would stretch out this far. The usual disclaimers, I do not own Phineas and Ferb, Milo Murphy's Law or Gravity Falls. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	6. Inventor's block

**Inventor's block**

After a school year that seemed to go on forever, Phineas Flynn and his step-brother, Ferb Fletcher, woke up to the first day of summer. But something happened to Phineas, that had never happened to him before, he had run out of ideas for things to build.

"I don't know, Ferb. How do we top last summer?" Phineas asked his silent brother, who responded with a simple shoulder shrug. Phineas was used to this, as Ferb was a man of action.

"I mean, we did all kinds of awesome things last summer; milking cows in space to make moon ice cream, became a superhero, we even flew around the world in one day, how do you beat that?" Phineas further asked himself more than Ferb.

Candace was staring at her brothers intently, looking for the first sign of what she called 'bustable activity'. She had failed over and over again last summer, and was determined not to let this summer go the same way. Linda chose this moment to walk in on Candace's spying session.

"I hate to interrupt your spying on the boys doing nothing out of the ordinary, but I have errands to run" informed Linda. Candace leapt at this.

"So I'm in charge?" Candace asked eagerly. Linda confirmed this, and Candace did her usual celebrations. Candace went outside to gloat to her brothers.

"Alright, you two. Mum said I'm in charge while she's out running errands, so no funny projects today" Candace ordered. The malice went over Phineas' head, as usual, because he simply replied;

"I'm out of ideas, anyway. I used up all my best projects last summer." Candace was concerned at this, because this was not normal Phineas behaviour. It was true that last summer was action-packed, and, dare she say it, invigorating, but Candace thought that Phineas must've had other ideas saved up. Just then, Isabella walked into the back yard.

"Hey, guys, whatcha doin'?" Isabella greeted in her usual way, hoping this summer to gain Phineas' attention. Her crush on Phineas remained strong as ever, and this summer, she hoped to have more time alone with him. But she'd be lying if she didn't sometimes wonder why she even bothered.

"Right now, nothing. I'm out of ideas Isabella, this has never happened to me before" answered Phineas.

"Oh" responded Isabella. She saw her moment, and took it. "So, you wanna go swimming?" she asked Phineas, in a small hope of some one-on-one time.

"Sure, maybe some time in the water will clear my head, you coming Ferb?" replied Phineas. Isabella seemed put down by this, which Ferb noticed, because he responded;

"Actually, I have something I need to do, you two go" said Ferb, using up his one line for the day.

"That's cool, ready to go Isabella?" inquired Phineas, eager for some head-clearing time. Isabella indicated that she was ready when he was, thanked Ferb for pulling out, and off they went. Candace went to call Linda to tell her what Phineas and Isabella were doing. Linda gave them her permission, and remarked that this was not normal, but relieved at the thought of no inane ravings over the phone for the day, and Candace now had the house to herself.

Back at Excalibur HQ, Albert was monitoring the Tri-State Area, as Major Smith instructed, for any signs of Bill activity. He had been strangely quiet. Albert had thought that, once Bill had acquired a means to fuel his power, that he would immediately set to work on his master plan. But so far, nothing. Neither Shane nor Mr. Jones reported anything unusual to him.

"He has to be up to something" Albert mused to himself. Just then, Kilstone, Albert's XO, walked into his office, after ringing the door chime and Albert welcoming him in.

"Doofenshmirtz has returned to Danville, sir. He's agreed not to disclose Excalibur's existence to OWCA" briefed Kilstone.

"And Bill? Any activity on that front?" asked Albert, desperate for news.

"No, sir, nothing" answered Kilstone. Albert could not decide between feeling disappointed, or relieved. He had heard nothing from Major Smith, either. Last Albert saw of him, he was chasing a lead in California about a means for Bill to restore his body.

"If I may, sir, what chance do we have against Bill when he makes his grand entrance?" inquired Kilstone.

"At best, we can fight a delaying action. Major Smith has a plan for Bill, but it will take some doing. It is our job to delay Bill's arrival as much as we can, until the plan comes together" briefed Albert.

"What is this plan?" quizzed Kilstone, his curiosity piqued.

"When Bill first appeared in our world, it was discovered that a group of ten people were prophesized to come together as one, and form a ring of power that could defeat him. Major Smith knows who all of these people are, and has put out the call to arms" explained Albert.

"Surely Bill will be expecting that" retorted Kilstone.

"That's why we have agents protecting them. Thankfully, none of them have reported any Bill activity to me, yet" responded Albert.

"I hate waiting, especially for a storm" complained Kilstone. Albert agreed with this, but noted that it was all they could do now.

At the pool, Phineas and Isabella were able to get in for free, as Phineas and Ferb built the place some unconventional water slides that attracted a lot of business last summer. After brushing off a remark from the receptionist about the 'happy couple on a date', Phineas and Isabella got changed, and started to enjoy their day.

"I never noticed before, what is it with everyone thinking we're a couple?" inquired Phineas, confused at the very thought. While it was true that Phineas thought of Isabella as one of his best friends, he never saw her in that light.

"I think it's called 'Phinabella'. I never care for ship names, but I think it's cute" responded Isabella, then proceeded to race Phineas to the slides that Phineas and Ferb had built for the establishment. Phineas recollected the time when he, Ferb and the others, built those slides in the backyard. When they were done, the manager of the water park they were in now asked to take them, and Phineas obliged. Phineas smiled at these precious memories, and joined Isabella at the top.

"You know, it's a shame Buford and Baljeet couldn't join us. They'd love this" mused Phineas. Baljeet had gone through his usual routine of signing up for summer classes on the first day, and Buford felt out of place without Baljeet to pester.

"Yeah, real shame" responded Isabella, disappointed that Phineas did not consider this a date. Still, she got her wish of alone time with Phineas, so she put that out of her mind, and slid down the tube after Phineas.

"Any ideas for projects pop up yet?" asked Isabella, when they reached the bottom.

"No, but I'm not gonna let that bug me today, I'm having too much fun with you" answered Phineas. Isabella had to look away when he said this, or Phineas would've noticed her face going twenty shades of red.

When they got home after more fun times in the pool, Phineas waved Isabella goodbye, and walked through the front door.

"Hi sweetie, how was your date?" greeted Linda.

"I wouldn't call it a date, Mum, but it was still fun" replied Phineas.

"Well, whatever it was, I hope you're hungry for 'first day of summer pizza' " responded Linda, and Phineas sat down at the table to eat with his family. After dinner, Phineas and Ferb went to bed, and, after saying their good-nights, the two brothers went down to sleep.

Phineas was having a most peculiar dream. He was in a workshop of some kind, with blueprints scattered all over the place, whoever was in charge of upkeep here was not doing a good job. Obviously interpreting this as his own case of inventor's block, he began to sort through them, when a strange figure came up behind him.

"Hiya, bright spark" greeted the figure, who resembled a flying triangle with one eye and a hat. Phineas jumped in a fright.

"Woah, don't have a heart attack, you're not in your 80s yet" assured the figure. Phineas asked who he was.

"Name's Bill Cipher. I'm a muse who chooses one mind a century to inspire. For the 21st century, I've chosen you. Congratulations, kid" explained the being Phineas now knew as Bill.

"Thanks, but why me?" inquired Phineas.

"I've seen what you can do, you're a gift to the world, no matter what your sister might think. I've also seen that you're going through a block right now" flattered Bill.

"Yeah, I think I out-did myself last summer" confirmed Phineas.

"I must've replayed last summer about 5 times, but I have a way that you can outclass all of those previous endeavours combined" outlined Bill. When Phineas asked how, Bill showed him a schematic of what looked to Phineas like an interdimensional portal.

"With this, you can go anywhere and do anything. Nothing is impossible. You'll never run out of things to do again" pressed Bill. Phineas was amazed, but Bill later continued;

"Of course, this is just a dream. You'll forget when you wake up. I can implant these schematics into your mind, but I'd like something in exchange."

"OK, what do you want?" asked Phineas.

"This has to be the first thing you build this summer, and you have to keep it somewhere safe when it's done" replied Bill. Phineas did not need more than 30 seconds before coming up with an answer.

"It's a deal, friend" said Phineas, and shook Bill's hand. The next morning, the two brothers woke up, had breakfast, and Phineas called everyone to the back yard, the schematics Bill showed him still in his mind.

"Guys, I already know what we're gonna do today!" Phineas chimed his usual catchphrase, and he outlined the portal schematics he drew up.

At the Excalibur HQ, Albert got a signal in his office.

"Latest from our agent in OWCA, sir" said his yeoman, and Albert took a peek. It was camera footage of the backyard of the Flynn-Fletcher house. Albert paused the footage, zoomed in on the schematics on the table, and examined them carefully. Albert knew the two boys who lived there always built the most outlandish of devices, but since they never endangered homeworld security, Excalibur left them alone. This was different. From the footage, Albert knew they were constructing the same portal salvaged from the basement of the Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls, or something similar to it. This had to be Bill's work.

Albert placed a call to the agent in OWCA, and instructed; "This has to stop, you know what to do." The agent acknowledged the orders, and the call was terminated.

Author's note: I know, nothing in this chapter relates to Milo Murphy's Law at all. Like I said in the summary, this is a massive crossover between MML, PnF, Gravity Falls and SVTFOE. This site only lets me select two shows to crossover. I feel that's too limited. Disclaimer: I own nothing except the Excalibur Institute and its employees. Everything else belongs to their respective owners. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	7. Interdimensional deceptions

Interdimensional deceptions

At the back yard of the Flynn-Fletcher house. Phineas finished briefing his friends about the portal, and where he got the idea from.

"I have to admit some degree of jealousy, Phineas" confessed Baljeet. He then added; "a muse who chooses one mind a century to inspire picks you. It is truly the stuff of geniuses." Buford was a bit more sceptical.

"I still think it's a sham. You've never needed a flying triangle to inspire you before. What's his game?" inquired Buford.

"Interdimensional chess, and he's really good at it too" answered Phineas. Isabella was thinking about something while they worked.

"I still can't help but think I've heard the name 'Bill Cipher' somewhere before. It's on the tip of my tongue, I know it" mused Isabella.

"Well, whoever, or whatever, he is, he's given us something to do today, so why look a gift horse in the mouth?" inspired Phineas, and the group got to work.

Candace was in her room, talking to Stacy on her phone, as she usually did. The topics usually ranged from Jeremy, clothes, Jeremy, the mall, Jeremy, busting her brothers, and of course, Jeremy. Today, however, she was discussing Phineas and Isabella's 'date' yesterday.

"So Stacy, should I be preparing to welcome Isabella into the family?" gossiped Candace.

"I don't know, Candace. Aren't they like, 8 years old?" countered Stacy.

"I've always thought of Isabella as a little sister. Maybe I just hoped if she eventually married Phineas, I'll finally have a sister" mused Candace. At this point, the noise from her brothers' latest project was seeping into her room. Knowing that Phineas had got his groove back, Candace told Stacy she would call her back, hung up, and went outside.

"Alright, you two, what is this latest monstrosity?!" demanded Candace.

"Phineas had some weird dream last night, and now we're building this thing because some muse told him too" stated Buford.

"That sounds crazy, even for you" answered Candace.

"I made a deal, Candace, so I have to come through" explained Phineas.

"Deal or not, I'm calling Mum" retorted Candace, and she then proceeded to dial Linda's number. Linda, as usual, picked up, and listened to the usual ramblings she was used to in the summer.

"Uh huh, Candace, an interdimensional portal? That's very imaginative, much more so than last summer. Gotta go, sweetie, yoga class is about to start" replied Linda, disbelieving as ever, and hung up her cell phone. Candace, frustrated at this, went to go drag Linda home to see for herself, but not before asking;

"Hey, where's Perry?"

The platypus in question used the tree entrance to get into his secret agent lair. Once he arrived, Major Monogram appeared on the screen in front of him.

"There you are, Agent P" greeted Major Monogram. He then carried on with his briefing.

"We've received intelligence that the remaining members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N are meeting at an abandoned warehouse close to your location. Go there and see what they're up to."

Agent P gave a salute, then Major Monogram concluded; "Take Doofenshmirtz with you, Carl thinks he can help with identifying who's who." Agent P left to carry out his assignment. Flying towards Doofenshmirtz's building in his car, Perry picked up his partner, and set off. Once they arrived, Perry and Doofenshmirtz decided to use the roof to affect entry. Communication was difficult, since only one of them could speak.

"Are we early? There's nobody here" wondered Doofenshmirtz. While Perry could not respond verbally, he too, was lamenting the lack of evil scientists in the building. They decided to stake out the place from their vantage point, waiting for anyone to arrive.

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher house, the doorbell rang. Lawrence Fletcher, Phineas' and Candace's step-father, and Ferb's actual father, answered the door, Lawrence being oblivious to the boys' activities as usual.

"Can I help you?" Lawrence greeted the stranger.

"Yes, I'm Albert Stevens. I'm with the admissions department for Danville High. I've been told that your two boys, Phineas and Ferb, are very gifted for their age, and I wanted to talk to them about potential early entry" explained the man Lawrence now knew as Albert.

"That's wonderful, please come in and have a seat. I'll go get them" answered Lawrence, and he made to fetch Phineas and Ferb. Albert thanked him, and entered the house. Once Lawrence wasn't looking, Albert whispered into his watch, which doubled as a communications device.

"I'm inside. Tell the agents to get into position, Kilstone" Albert instructed. Once all the agents Albert brought gave their standby signals, Lawrence returned with Phineas and Ferb.

"So you're the famous Phineas and Ferb? Your grades are very exceptional, from what I've seen" complimented Albert.

"Thanks, sir" answered Phineas.

"Anyway, the reason I'm here, as your father no doubt informed you already, is to talk to you about early admittance to Danville High. The headmaster has expressed interest in you personally" explained Albert. At this point, Lawrence expressed his interest in wanting to call Linda about this development. Lawrence excused himself, and Albert went on once Lawrence had left the room.

"The headmaster, Bill Cipher, certainly has taken an interest in you and is impatient to wait until you are at proper age" Albert pressed. Phineas was alarmed at this. How did this man know Bill Cipher's name? Albert noticed this, and simply stated;

"Phineas, I'm not with Danville High, and we need to talk."

After what seemed like hours, someone in a lab coat finally showed up to the abandoned warehouse that Perry and Doofenshmirtz were staking out. The strange thing was, he was alone. No other scientists accompanied him. Deciding that the rest of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. was a no-show, they descended on him.

"Stop right there!" yelled Doofenshmirtz, and the figure took off his lab coat. It wasn't anyone Doofenshmirtz recognised. Quite the opposite, Perry knew him well. It was Carl.

"What are you doing here?" asked Doofenshmirtz, confused. At this point, Carl activated a remote control, and Perry and Doofenshmirtz were trapped. "What is this?!" Doofenshmirtz further demanded.

"You ask a lot of questions I think you already know the answer to" answered Carl. Perry growled angrily at him, obviously hurt at this betrayal. "I'm not with L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., don't worry" Carl further assured Perry. Doofenshmirtz was thinking in his head, and he finally put two and two together.

"You're with Excalibur?!" asked Doofenshmirtz, shocked that Carl, whom he always thought was the most loyal to OWCA, would side with an organisation whose methods, Doofenshmirtz thought, were questionable at best.

"Look like evil genius isn't wasted after all" mused Carl. He went on to explain that he was the one who arranged for Doofenshmirtz's involuntary stint with the institute, that he was the one who hushed it up, and that his bosses arranged for false intelligence to be leaked to lure Perry away from the Flynn-Fletcher house.

"Captain Stevens would send his thanks for the inator you built for him, but he's far too busy with Phineas and Ferb and is on comm silence at this point in time" remarked Carl. Perry began violently bashing against his trap at the mention of his host family, and the thought of what this 'captain' had in mind scared him to the core.

"My orders are to keep you here until the operation is complete, at which time, you will be released. In the meantime, let's see what's happening right now" Carl clarified, and produced a pad showing camera footage of the Flynn-Fletcher house living room, where Albert, Phineas and Ferb, were having an enlightening discussion.

"Tell me Phineas, why would an angelic, bright boy with a promising future such as yourself throw themselves in with Bill? What did he tell you?" quizzed Albert. Phineas then told Albert about his dream, and the deal he made with Bill.

"So, he's fed someone else this garbage?" mused Albert. He went on to explain; "Phineas, he's told this same spiel to someone else 30 years ago. They built him a portal similar to what you're building now, and, well, see the result for yourself." Albert then produced a pad, and showed Phineas the events of Wierdmageddon.

Phineas could not believe what he was seeing. If Albert had not told him otherwise, he would've thought this was a really cheesy, low budget horror film. Yet here it was. The timestamps on the footage proved it was real. Phineas was at a loss for words. Bill had lied to him, and he felt stupid for falling for what, in hindsight, sounded like easy flattery.

"Have you turned it on yet?" asked Albert. All Phineas could manage was a weak 'no'.

"Phineas, you're a great lad, no matter what the current circumstances are, don't let this get you down. The other guy had 12 PhDs and even he fell for Bill's tricks" assured Albert. Phineas saw this as little comfort. Building a doomsday device was never on Phineas' agenda.

"What matters now, is getting your portal to HQ before Bill can activate it" stated Albert, at which point, his comms lit up. Albert responded, and Kilstone told him that movement was detected in the back yard. Albert, Phineas and Ferb rushed out, to find the boy Albert knew as Milo Murphy standing with Isabella, Buford and Baljeet.

"Did you invite him here?" Albert asked Phineas and Ferb. Both denied bringing Milo, then he turned around to face them, and Albert saw that Milo's pupils were now vertical slits, and knew now that Bill was possessing him.

"Get him away from those controls!" Albert ordered. Buford made to tackle him, but Bill-Milo had learned some new tricks, because Buford was now floating in the air, being telekinetically lifted by Bill-Milo.

"What is happening?" inquired Baljeet.

"Congratulations, you all get front-row seats to my re-ascension as ruler of this world!" echoed Bill-Milo. He then turned to Phineas; "And you, Brainiac, will be forever known as the genius who started it all!" Bill-Milo proceeded to do his usual maniacal laughter.

"So, you've found a way to turn Murphy's Law into power?" mused Albert. Bill-Milo confirmed this, and Albert thought of something.

"I knew I had heard that name before!" Isabella realised, then she clarified; "The Gravity Falls chapter of the Fireside Girls all had to go into therapy for PTSD following your last visit!"

"One of my most crowning achievements, and when I get my real body back, I'll flatten that backwater!" ranted Bill-Milo. At this, Isabella commanded her fireside girls to pounce on Bill-Milo, distracting him long enough for Phineas to change the activation code.

"Hey, Bill. Good luck ending the world without this!" goaded Phineas, and held up what looked like an activation disc. Bill-Milo, angered that his chance had evaded him, chased after Phineas.

"Give me that disc!" ordered Bill-Milo, but Phineas kept running, until he got where he wanted to go. While Bill-Milo was ranting on, Albert and Phineas came up with a plan to lure Bill-Milo away from the others, and into a line of agents with tranquiliser dartguns. Phineas had got to the target site, and the agents opened fire, sedating Bill-Milo.

"What is this?!" demanded Bill-Milo, weakening from the effects of the tranquilisers. Phineas began to explain;

"While you may have the powers of a demon, thanks to Murphy's Law, you're still in a human's body, and thus, still have their weaknesses. Guess you didn't think that far ahead."

"No, not now, I was so close, curse you Phineas Flynn" cursed Bill-Milo, before collapsing under the effects of the sedatives. Albert caught the unconscious body of Milo before it hit the ground, and instructed medical staff to return Milo to his home.

"Nice work, Phineas" acknowledged Albert, and they went back to the house.

"I'll have agents remove the portal and keep it secure at our HQ, and we'll move that activation disc somewhere separate so that, even if one is seized, Bill can't end the world without finding the other first" outlined Albert. Phineas agreed, and the portal, and the disc, were soon taken away.

Candace and Linda returned from Linda's yoga class, and Candace immediately dragged her to the back yard to find nothing, as usual. Linda, having been told about Phineas and Ferb being considered for early admittance to Danville High, greeted Albert with enthusiasm.

"So, I'm told Phineas and Ferb are gifted?" asked Linda, excited.

"Yes, they are exceptional. I'll be in touch with Danville High about a place, but they are filling up fast, so please don't be disheartened if we do not contact you regarding such placements" explained Albert, and he made to leave.

Once the Flynn-Fletcher family waved their goodbyes, Albert ordered Carl to release Perry and Doofenshmirtz, Perry now knowing who Excalibur were and their intentions, and Perry agreed not to disclose Carl's affiliations, provided Excalibur not go near the boys again.

When Phineas and Ferb went to bed that night, Ferb used up his one line for the day;

"You know, I don't think that's the last we'll see of Bill" Ferb warned. Phineas agreed, and resolved to work on some anti-Bill weapons tomorrow, to prepare for the unlikely day that they meet Bill again.

The next day, Albert went into his office. The portal Phineas and his friends built had been stowed away in the same vault where they were keeping the Cipher statue, complete with the same protections that used to imprison him. He had heard from Shane that Milo had been safely returned and is back to his normal self; Milo having no recollection of what happened.

"Excuse me, sir, you have an update from Major Smith about California" chimed Albert's yeoman. Albert thanked her, and proceeded to read what Major Smith had sent him.

"Well, that is worrying" mused Albert. He then buzzed Kilstone on the comms.

"Send a surveillance team to Echo Creek" ordered Albert. Kilstone acknowledged the order, and the call was terminated.

Author's note: So, I have been dutifully informed that I have been spelling Doofenshmirtz's name wrong for about 6 chapters; took me that long to realise there's no 'c' in it. Well, this is the end of Phineas and Ferb's part of the Excalibur Saga, for now. Apologies that their part is so criminally short compared to Milo's, the Excalibur Saga is really a Milo story, that Phineas and Ferb, Gravity Falls, and eventually, SVTFOE, just happen to be a part of. The usual disclaimers; I do not own Phineas and Ferb, Milo Murphy's Law, Gravity Falls or SVTFOE. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	8. Real fairy tales

**Real fairy tales**

It had been another busy day in Mewni. Since Toffee's defeat and Ludo's exile into the void, Star and her family were left to rebuild what was destroyed during Ludo's short stint as ruling monarch. Marco volunteered to stay behind and help with the restoration efforts, if only to spend more time with Star. Yvgeny Bulgolyubov, better known to his friends as Buff Frog, also helped with the efforts. He was in charge of distributing the relief supplies evenly, while Star and Marco rebuilt homes that were destroyed.

"Well, this is a good way to spend summer" mused Marco. Star, who grew increasingly nervous with Marco's presence, agreed silently. They never had a chance to discuss Star's confession, owing to the situation at hand taking more priority, but now that it was over, Star was dreading their next conversation about the subject. Marco noticed this as well, because he asked;

"Star, are you OK?, You seem a little distant."

"What, me? I'm fine, as always. I just figured that, since Toffee's gone, you'd be back home by now" answered Star defensively. Marco knew what was up, she didn't want to discuss her confession just yet. He could hardly blame her; secretly, he had used the restoration efforts as a means to distract himself from that topic of conversation.

"I'm sure Jackie's very worried about you, as well as your parents" implied Star.

"No, I told my parents what I was doing before I came to Mewni" replied Marco.

"What about Jackie? Is she fine with you spending time alone with me, after the way I left Earth?" asked Star. It was true that Marco and Jackie, to her knowledge, were still dating, and that she blurted out to everyone, including Jackie, that she had a crush on Marco, so she anticipated some problems.

"Well…" answered Marco. When Marco called Jackie to let her know he was going to stay on Mewni for a while to rebuild following the battle, after Star's family updated Marco's cell service to include interdimensional minutes, Jackie did not take it well.

"Jackie and I are over" continued Marco. Jackie made the point that, since their relationship started, every time they had any sort of date, Marco would always run off to talk to Star on at least one occasion, whether it be the school dance, the Love Sentence concert, or the end of year party. There was only so much Jackie could take, and with this, her patience had finally run out.

"It was mutual, we both agreed it wasn't working. It wasn't your fault" assured Marco, noticing that Star had a guilty look on her face.

"I'm sorry to hear that" replied Star, and they carried on their work without saying another word.

Back on Earth, Dipper and Mabel Pines were talking to the locals at Echo Creek. More specifically, they were talking to students at Echo Creek Academy, about rumours of a new student who suddenly appeared out of nowhere, that demonstrated abilities some would describe as magical, and who also disappeared when summer started.

"Let's go over what we learned so far, Mabel" said Dipper.

"OK, so a girl called Star Butterfly starts at Echo Creek Academy, turns her math teacher into a troll, shows off magic on a regular basis, and disappears when summer starts" summarised Mabel.

"Right, and according to one very distressed ex-girlfriend, a boy called Marco Diaz disappears at roughly the same time" concluded Dipper.

"I always thought guys waited 3 months before dating a friend's ex" teased Mabel.

"C'mon Mabel, this is serious, if Star does have magical abilities, Bill could use them to restore his body" countered Dipper.

"Only one thing for it, we need to talk to the Diaz family directly" suggested Dipper. Mabel agreed.

"Good thing I acquired the Diaz family address from a girl called Janna" said Mabel. Their destination set, Dipper and Mabel made for the Diaz house. The surveillance team that they ordered as their Major Smith personas were already there, disguised as telephone wire maintenance workers. Dipper and Mabel donned their Major Smith disguises, and asked the team for an update.

"Nothing, sirs" said the team leader. "No sign that either Star or Marco has returned to the house. If we stay out here any longer, we'll be exposed" he further updated.

"We do not want Excalibur to take anymore unnecessary risks, we are already attracting attention after the incident with Milo. Withdraw. We have enough intelligence here" ordered Smith #1

"We'll stay behind to gather more. In the meantime, make a report to Captain Stevens when you arrive at HQ" further ordered Smith #2. The surveillance team acknowledged the orders and left.

Once the team was out of visual range, Dipper and Mabel took off their disguises, walked up to the Diaz family front door, and knocked. The patriarch, Rafael, as he introduced himself, answered.

"Hello, are you two friends of Marco and Star?" Rafael asked. Dipper and Mabel nodded, and Rafael explained that he was staying with a friend and was unavailable at the present time.

"That's why we're here" pressed Mabel, and then she asked if they could come in. Rafael and Angie, his wife, obliged, looking concerned. Once they sat down, Dipper explained everything to them. Surprisingly, the two parents, obviously distraught at the idea that Marco, and his 'partner in crime', as Rafael put it, could be in mortal peril, believed every word that came out of the Pines twins' mouths. Star had apparently been living with the Diaz family during her stay on Earth, and was not shy about using magic in front of them.

"We need to get a hold of either Marco or Star urgently, do you have their numbers?" asked Dipper.

"I'll try his cell phone, though I doubt he would get good signal strength on Mewni" answered Angie. She dialled the number, and amazingly, she got through.

Back on Mewni, it was Marco who plucked up the courage to talk about the very topic they had been avoiding.

"Star, I'd like an honest answer to this question. Do you still have a crush on me?" inquired Marco. But just as Marco was about to hear her answer, his cell phone rang. After Star breathed a sigh of relief, Marco answered his phone.

"Hello?" Marco answered. A pause, then he replied; "No, I don't know any 'Pines twins'". Another pause, then he asked; "Bill who?". Yet another pause, then he concluded; "OK, me and Star will come back to Earth and they can explain it to us when we arrive. See you soon, bye" and then Marco hung up.

"Sorry, Star, but we gotta go back to Earth. Two twins calling themselves Dipper and Mabel Pines have been asking about us to my parents. They're concerned some whats-his-name called Bill may be out to get us" explained Marco. Star was confused, but went with Marco through a portal Marco had cut with his interdimensional scissors, back to his home on Earth.

Once they arrived, Star and Marco greeted the Pines twins, albeit with some degree of suspicion on Marco's part, seeing as they lied their way into his home, and Dipper and Mabel explained everything that happened, to the Excalibur Institute, to Bill's return, to the present point in time.

"I've never even heard of this 'Bill Cipher'. What does he want with Star?" quizzed Marco, sceptically.

"The Institute believes Bill wants to use Star's magic to restore his body. He's already using the Milo boy we mentioned earlier to restore his powers, but while Bill is using Milo's body, his powers have limits" explained Dipper.

"Murphy's Law isn't infinite, he can only do so much at one time. With his original body back, his powers will grow exponentially" clarified Mabel. While Marco was still looking at this with a degree of scepticism, Star was in deep thought.

"But Bill's just a story, a cautionary tale Mewman parents tell their kids to keep them from making bad decisions, to look before they leap" stated Star.

"You mean like 'the boy who cried wolf'?" asked Marco.

"Something like that" confirmed Star.

"Trust us, Bill's no fairy tale. Could a fairy tale nearly cause the end of the world?" pressed Dipper.

At Excalibur HQ, Albert was going over the update the surveillance team had sent him.

"I hope Dipper and Mabel have more luck" Albert mused to himself. Just then, another update came to his office, this time, from Shane, his agent monitoring Milo. What Albert read shocked him to his core. He called Shane to verify the accuracy of his update. When Shane confirmed it and sent visual proof in the form of a photo attached to a text message, Albert paged his XO, Kilstone.

"Send medical and security teams to retrieve Milo. Once again, we've run out of time and must act now" ordered Albert. Kilstone acknowledged the order, and set out personally with his teams to Milo's location. Once the teams were away, Albert got on the line to Dipper.

"C'mon. C'mon!" Albert muttered urgently.

Back at the Diaz house, Dipper and Mabel had finished telling Star and the Diaz family about Wierdmageddon, and how the Institute covered it up, when suddenly, Dipper got a phone call, and excused himself to take it.

"OK, I believe you, Bill exists and he's dangerous" remarked Star.

"But what can we do to help?" quizzed Marco.

"The best thing you can do is to keep an eye out for Bill activity, not to make any deals with him and to inform us if Bill-Milo comes knocking. He can also come into your dreams, so please also tell us if Bill does that as well" explained Mabel. When everyone agreed to do what Mabel outlined, Dipper came back into the room.

"We may not have a choice anymore, Mabel" said Dipper, with a morbid tone. He went on to clarify; "That was Captain Stevens. He just got an update from Shane. Milo's dying."

Author's note: I hated writing the last few lines, but I felt this was the best thing moving forward as it generates actual stakes for everyone involved. Also, I hope I addressed the Starco ship to some degree of satisfaction. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing in SVTFOE, Milo Murphy's Law and Gravity Falls. Dan and Swampy own Milo Murphy's Law, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	9. Healing hands

**Healing hands**

At Excalibur HQ, the teams Albert ordered to pick up Milo had arrived, Shane, Zack, Melissa, Amanda and Milo's parents accompanying them. Milo himself looked in bad shape. His skin was paler than when last Albert saw him. Once in the medbay, Doctor Pike put Milo in a scanning device, and gave the group his diagnosis.

"His cells are dying faster than his body can make new ones. I can promote cell growth, but until we find the underlying cause and put a stop to it, there is nothing more I can do" explained Pike. Milo's parents were at a loss for words, trying very hard to hold back tears of grief. Albert called Dipper, and updated him on the situation.

"Is this Bill?" asked Milo's mother Brigette, weakly. In the time between Milo's departure from the Institute and now, Shane had to tell Milo's parents the truth about Bill, since Shane needed them to keep tabs on Milo when he could not.

"I'm just guessing, but based on what I've seen, I believe that Bill has been inside Milo too long, and the corruption is affecting Milo on a physical level. If this is true, no modern medicine can truly heal him" explained Albert.

"You've gotta do something, that is my son lying there dying on your hospital bed!" exclaimed Milo's father, Martin, obviously distraught.

"I do have an idea. It's a long shot, but it's the best we've got" mused Albert.

"It's better than nothing" retorted Amanda, who was also hysterical at the thought of losing Milo, whom she grew to care for very dearly. Albert proceeded to explain to the group about Star, and her gifts.

"It is my hope that, what magic has done, it can also undo" concluded Albert.

"First, it was demonic flying triangles, now it's magical princesses. What's next, talking mice?" remarked Zack.

"After what I've seen, I'll believe anything. Can you get this Star girl here in time?" asked Shane.

"I'm working on it" replied Albert. He then called Dipper to ask if Star can come to the Institute to help heal Milo.

Back at the Diaz house, Dipper, Mabel, Star and the Diaz family were discussing options.

"Albert's asked if Star can come to HQ to see if she can help fix Milo" explained Dipper. Star was in thought.

"My mum taught me a load of healing spells after she noted I kept running off to fight monsters before I got my wand, but I've never healed demonic possession before" answered Star.

"You have to at least try. This poor boy is dying and he needs you" Angie responded.

"You can do it, Star. I believe in you" assured Marco.

"Before you make up your mind, we have to consider. This could be a trap set by Bill to lure you into making a deal that gets him what he wants" cautioned Mabel. Star had already come to a decision.

"Even if it is a trap, I'm not willing to let this Milo boy die if I can stop it. If Bill does get his body back, we can deal with him when the time comes. For now, we have a life to save" reasoned Star.

"That's my girl" remarked Marco, which turned Star's face red. Dipper let Albert know that Star was on her way.

"Albert's arranged a high-speed vehicle to pick us up. It should be here within the hour" explained Dipper. Sure enough, the aforementioned vehicle had arrived, and after Dipper and Mabel put on their Major Smith disguises, Star, Marco and the two Smiths got on board and departed for Excalibur HQ with speed.

Star had gotten on the phone to her mother, explaining where they were and what the situation was. After some time convincing Moon that Bill was not a story, she had sent over some helpful potion recipes, a list of possible healing spells and some ingredients via dimensional scissor portal.

"My mum tells me that, even with all of this, Milo may still need Mewman medicine once he's stabilised. She's agreed to have Milo taken to a Mewman healer's hut once we're finished at HQ" outlined Star.

"Good, we could use her expertise in this matter" replied Smith #1.

"You said Bill was a story. How does it go?" inquired Marco.

"Well, it goes something like this…" started Star.

Story time

In the distant past, there was a prince, who ruled over a small, but prosperous kingdom. The people were content, but occasionally suffered hardships. The prince, being a kind and benevolent ruler, did all he could to ease their pains. He brought food to the starving, medicine to the sick and protected his kingdom from bandits and thieves. He was loved by all his subjects, and he loved them in return.

One day, there was a storm unlike anything the kingdom had ever seen before. His subjects were without homes, food or medicine. They turned to the prince for help, but he found himself exhausted trying to see to everyone at once. One night, a figure came to him in a dream, and offered to loan him a tome of power with which he could make anything possible. The prince took it, and promised to return the tome once his kingdom was flourishing again.

Using the spells found in the tome, dubbed the Book of Avalon, the prince restored homes, grew vast fields of food, and healed the sick. The kingdom was restored to its former self. The people were grateful to the new power their prince wielded, but when the time came to return the tome to the figure, the prince did not. Enamored by the tome's power, the prince learned new, more destructive spells, and he would spend days with his head buried in the book's pages.

The prince remembered a rival kingdom, whose ruler with which he had quarrelled. Using a curse found in the spell-book, the prince defeated his rival in a one-on-one duel, and forced the rival kingdom to yield to his rule. Drunk with power, the prince marched on a campaign of conquest across the land, declaring all he saw as his own, forcing his once beloved citizens to pay a hefty tax for his campaign.

When the land was his, one of his trusted advisors learned of the book's power, and organised a rebellion, through which the would-be king of all was overthrown and imprisoned, the book itself lost, hidden by the rebellion's leader, never to be seen again. In his cell, the prince had another dream, similar to the one he had before he was given the book. In said dream, the prince asked the figure what price had to be paid for going back on their deal, and so the figure condemned the prince to serve as his slave for all eternity in the realm of nightmares, mocking his weakness and laughing at how easy it was to trick him into misusing the book's power.

End story

"Well, that's the story" concluded Star.

"We have similar stories on Earth, but all share the same warning; absolute power corrupts absolutely" said Marco, comparing the tale he had just heard to other stories he had heard when he was a child.

"This book, in the tale, is it real just like Bill?" asked Smith #2

"Many such scholars, enthusiasts and even some of my own family have searched for the Book of Avalon. No such book has been found" answered Star. Just then, the vehicle they were in had stopped. They had arrived at HQ.

"Enough of story-time, we have things to do" mused Star.

When Albert was informed of Star's arrival, he did not make to greet her as he normally would. He had Kilstone show Star and her entourage to the medbay where Milo lay. Albert looked at the camera feed of the medbay, caught a glimpse of Star's wand as she set to work attempting various potions and spells, and wondered whether she could actually save him. Major Smiths #1 and #2 walked into Albert's office.

"I thought you'd be down in medbay" wondered Smith #1.

"I've made too many mistakes when it comes to Bill. Plus, I didn't want Star to think I'm breathing down her neck. She has enough to worry about" reasoned Albert.

"We came to tell you that Star's medicines are having a reaction. Bill is, for lack of a better term, freaking out" explained Smith #2. Just then, Albert's comm lit up. Albert answered it.

"We have a problem down here" said Doctor Pike, on the other end. Albert thought about this, then he responded;

"I'll be right down; restrain Milo if you have to" Albert ordered, closed the call, and left for the medbay.

When Albert arrived at the medbay, he saw Milo, but it was obvious that Bill was in control at this time.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Mewni's next queen. If I'd known I'd be among royalty, I would've worn my best bow tie" mocked Bill-Milo, who Albert noted was in medical restraints.

"Get out of this boy, you're killing him!" ordered Star.

"Believe me, I'd like nothing better. But I'd need another body to go back into, or I'll be, shall we say, vanquished" retorted Bill-Milo.

"Fine by me, you've caused enough trouble!" responded Star.

"You know, for royalty, you're a bit snippy. Are you really willing to let this boy die just to get rid of me?" asked Bill-Milo menacingly. Star thought hard.

"Alright, you got me. But I can't give you your old body back. I don't know how" replied Star.

"Just take my hand and I'll use your magic to conjure my old body" instructed Bill-Milo. When Star took Bill-Milo's hand, the corruption seemed to pour out of Milo and into Star like a disease. Star went silent, her wand arm outstretched with said wand in hand, and started to recite a spell.

I summon here, to this place

All the powers of time and space

What was lost in violent clashes

Raise now from the ashes

From deepest depths of the dark abyss

I call upon the blackest mist

To bring to me this hour

To restore me to my former power.

When Bill-Star was finished with the incantation, the wand started glowing. Something started to emerge from its centre. When the figure was completely free from the wand, it relinquished its hold on Star and Milo. Star collapsed from exhaustion, Marco catching her before she hit the floor; Milo now free from Bill's corruption.

Bill Cipher had returned, body and all.

"Oh, it is good to be back!" mused Bill. He turned and noticed Marco holding Star, and Shane over Milo's hospital bed.

"Would you look at this, two happy couples in the same place. Better say your 'I love you's now, because you're going to die together!" menaced Bill. But before Bill could carry out this act, he started to fade.

"What the? Oh, not now!" Bill yelled, frustrated.

"What's wrong, Bill? Forgot you can't exist in our world without a bridge connecting it to yours?" teased Shane.

"I'll be back, it's only a matter of time!" Bill warned, before fading completely. Albert arrived in medbay.

"What happened here?" quizzed Albert, and Shane began to explain everything.

"I see, so Bill is out of Milo, but he has his old body back. At least we still have the portal in lockdown" reasoned Albert, hoping to find the good aspects of Bill's return.

"Which means the first battle will be fought here. We need to be ready" suggested Shane.

"Agreed, but first we need to see to Star and Milo" confirmed Albert.

"I can get them to Mewni. Healers can take it from there" piped Marco. He then opened a portal with his scissors, and Moon was waiting on the other side to take Milo and her daughter to Mewman healing huts.

"We'll also need to double the protection around the Flynn-Fletcher house. Even if Bill gets his hands on the portal, only Phineas knows where the disc to turn it on is" implied Albert. Just then, Queen Moon stepped through the portal to greet Albert.

"I can see to their protection. Butterfly magic is some of the strongest in existence" responded Moon.

"Very good, Your Majesty. Can you oversee Star and Milo's recuperation, Marco?" inquired Albert. Marco agreed to look after Star and Milo, and Albert ordered a vehicle to take Moon to the Flynn-Fletcher house.

"I'd like to go with Marco. Milo is only in this mess because I brought him here to begin with, and I feel like I owe him" stated Shane. Albert and Marco agreed to this, and Marco and Shane stepped through the portal before it closed.

After everyone saw to their assigned tasks, or went home, Albert walked back to his office, and called Major Smith to update him on what happened.

"So, it begins. The agents protecting the zodiac people will have to be informed" ordered Major Smith. Albert acknowledged this, then he asked;

"Are we any closer to locating Stanley and Stanford Pines? They are the only ones undefended."

"Last communication puts them in central Africa, searching for treasure" answered Major Smith.

"We'll need to update them and see if they'll consider halting their world trip to assist us. Considering Stanford's history with Bill, I don't see that being a problem" mused Albert. Major Smith said he'll see to it and signed off. Albert buzzed his comms, this time addressing Kilstone.

"Kilstone, send a message to all Gravity Falls agents. Tell them it's a code Yellow Triangle, and it's not a drill" ordered Albert. Kilstone acknowledged the order, and the call was cut.

Author's note: With this marks the end of Star's part of the Excalibur Saga, for now. It's all coming together quite nicely. Apologies in advance for the lack of Starco, one thing I still think is that it was never addressed in Battle for Mewni because there were other, more pressing matters, and the same applies here. Comments and favourites are welcome. For those starting at this point, you can find the other 8 chapters in my personal gallery. The disclaimers now: I own nothing, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Dan and Swampy own Milo Murphy's Law and Phineas and Ferb, and Disney own them all. Enjoy.


	10. Yellow triangle

**Yellow triangle**

It had been a busy start to the summer for Jesus Ramirez, more commonly known to his friends and family as Soos. Running the Mystery Shack after its founder, Stanley Pines, left to go on a round-the-world trip with his twin brother, Stanford, kept him on his toes. Of course, he knew how the shack worked, thanks to his previous role as handyman, but he only ever dreamed of running the place. He had to develop a flare for business quickly, but Soos was a fast learner.

At the cash register for the gift shop was his new assistant and girlfriend, Melody. Soos could not imagine how he would've managed without her. She had been a lifesaver after the previous gift shop cashier, Wendy Corduroy, left to focus on her school work. Since she was in high school now, Soos figured it was for the best that she focus on her academics. Before Stanley left on his trip, he had given Soos a few lessons on running a business, though these lessons mostly focused on how to get the most money out of tourists.

Adding to the list of helpers Soos had on hand was the new handyman, Benjamin Ross. Ross was new to Gravity Falls, and needed a steady job to help him get started. After Soos saw his incredible resume which included several DIY stores, he gave Ross an offer faster than he could blink. Ross had been instrumental in getting the shack in running order, especially when it came to fixing leftover damage from the regrettable events of last summer's end. No-one in Gravity Falls talked about this, and Soos was fine with that, the less said, the better.

Soos took a look outside, and saw a bus load of tourists stopping at the shack.

"Positions, dudes" called Soos, and Melody manned her usual spot at the gift shop, while Ross was finishing up repair work. The tourists came in, and Soos gave them the tour they had paid for. While Soos was not as money-hungry as his predecessor, he recognised the need for a big income.

After another bout of what Soos considered his dream job, and several tours later, it was time to close up shop.

"Good job, dudes. We got a bigger intake than yesterday" praised Soos.

"Soos, dear. The gift shop is getting under-stocked. We'll need new merchandise" advised Melody.

"Also, I'll need supplies from the hardware store. I've noted several exhibitions getting a bit loose" added Ross. Soos gave them both the budget they needed to carry out these requests, and soon headed to his new living area in the shack.

"Another successful day for my grandson, the businessman?" inquired Soos' grandmother, Abuelita. Even though Soos had his own place now, he still made it a point to look after his grandmother. After all, without his father or grandfather, who would?

"Yeah, this is still the best job in the world. It never gets old" answered Soos, enthusiastically. He made to go to his computer and check his email. Still nothing from Dipper and Mabel. This had been the case for a number of weeks now, and Soos was getting concerned. Dipper and Mabel emailed Soos once a week asking how business was going and telling him about life back in California, and he too, responded with updates on the shack and everyone the twins left behind.

"What are they doing that they're too busy to email me?" mused Soos, worryingly. Despite the age difference, Soos considered Dipper and Mabel his best friends, which made this silence all the more bizarre. Just then, Ross burst in, with a panicked look on his face.

"Hey dude, back from the hardware store already? Keep this up and I'll give you a raise" said Soos.

"No time. We have to leave, now!" panted Ross.

"What, why?" asked Soos, concerned.

"I'll explain when we're in the car. Now, come on!" answered Ross. Melody and Abuelita came in as well.

"Soos, what is happening?" inquired Melody.

"I'm sorry, but where we're going, you can't come with us" explained Ross, sombrely.

"Why not?! What's going on?!" demanded Soos.

"I am not letting my grandson go off to parts unknown without some explanation. So out with it, mister!" retorted Abuelita. Ross did not want to argue with an elderly woman, and Melody, being Soos' girlfriend, deserved an explanation.

"I got a code Yellow Triangle a few minutes ago" confessed Ross.

"And that means what?" quizzed Soos.

"It means Bill Cipher has returned" clarified Ross. Soos was horrified at this. Not only did he just learn that Ross, his trusted handyman, may be keeping secrets, but also that Gravity Falls' number one enemy was back, meaning all the effort he and his friends expended to defeat him, was for nothing. Soos was lost for words.

"I'm sorry, Soos, but you need to come with me right now, and they can't come with us. The more people that care about you, the more avenues of attack Bill has, and we need to keep you safe" explained Ross. Soos opened his mouth to say something, when he got a call on his phone. It was Wendy.

"Hello?" greeted Soos.

"Soos, you need to get out of Gravity Falls right now! Don't let anyone else go with you. Are you with an agent of some group called Excalibur?" inquired Wendy. Soos put two and two together, and figured that Ross was this 'Excalibur agent'. When Ross nodded, Soos said 'yes'.

"Good, let him get you out. Do not stop for anything. I'll be seeing you soon" assured Wendy, and she hung up.

When Ross and Soos reached the car, Ross drove off, after waving good-bye to Abuelita and Melody, and Ross proceeded to fill in the gaps.

"As you no doubt have figured out, I am with the Excalibur Institute. I was assigned to protect the 'question mark', that being you. There are other agents protecting the other signs of the zodiac, as well" explained Ross.

"You mean, there are other guys like you watching over Dipper, Mabel and the others?" quizzed Soos.

"Yes, and code Yellow Triangle is the order to gather all the zodiac's chosen together and hide them in a safe house so we can destroy Bill when he resurfaces" answered Ross. Just then, a comm went off in the car. Ross answered it, and he had a look of frustration on his face.

"What is it, dude?" asked Soos.

"There's been a complication with the llama sign" answered Ross. Soos knew this to be Pacifica Northwest. While Soos and Pacifica never spoke, even after Wierdmageddon, it was common knowledge that the Northwest family were not as wealthy as they once were, having lost all their money and sold their house to get it back.

After the events of Wierdmageddon, the Northwest family were living in a small three-bedroom house. For a normal family, this would be the ideal, but for Preston Northwest, this was a significant down-grade. For a man used to living in a manor house, with servants and butlers to tend to every need, he found his new living arrangements hard to adapt to.

Pacifica, however, found it liberating. After the incident with the lumberjack ghost, Pacifica found the middle class to be a lot friendlier than the children of the elite dignitaries, millionaires and upper-class businessmen she used to have to mingle with. Indeed, having had to sell most of her extensive wardrobe to help recoup the losses, Pacifica found it easier to just be a girl, rather than the daughter of a once-wealthy entrepreneur. Her new homeroom teacher at school, Mrs. Watson, was a big help in making the transition.

Priscilla, however, was not taking it too well. She and Preston now had to get what most would consider to be 'actual jobs' to help pay for living expenses. Preston managed to get a team leader position with a local company, owing to his years of experience at the top, and he also managed to get Priscilla a receptionist job. To their colleagues, they were seen as what could happen should you make a wrong choice in life, and often ridiculed.

After another stressful day at work, the Northwest family ate dinner and settled down for the night. Preston was having a most unusual dream. He was back in the office, surrounded by the mockery and laughter he had to endure. It was bad enough that he had to go through this while he was awake, now he had to endure it asleep too. Preston wanted to wake up, when a familiar entity approached him.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Long time, no see, Northwest" greeted Bill, mockingly.

"Haven't you tortured me enough?" asked Preston, irritably.

"Look, mister big-shot. I didn't force you to invest all your fortune in my weirdness bonds, nor did I ask for your allegiance, so don't blame me for your current situation!" countered Bill.

"You did, however, vandalise my face and turn my daughter into a wall rug!" exclaimed Preston.

"All that's in the past. I've come here now to offer you a way out. I can give you your fortune back, should you so desire" offered Bill.

"And what will you get out of this arrangement?" wondered Preston. As a businessman, Preston knew for a fact that a deal like this had a catch, especially when Bill's involved.

"All I want is a small favour, nothing more. Now do we have a deal?" answered Bill. He made to offer his hand to Preston, who was in thought. While the prospect of making a deal with Bill was off-putting, he did desire for things to return to normal very badly, and he had done worse deals in his lifetime.

"Alright, but once things are back to the way they were, I never want to see you again" said Preston, and he took Bill's hand.

"I forgot to mention, the small favour I wanted was to borrow your body for a while!" clarified Bill. Bill then literally yanked Preston Northwest from his body and stepped inside.

"What is the meaning of this?!" demanded Preston, in his astral form. Bill-Preston then got up.

"I went through a lot to come back to life, and I can't let those zodiac numbskulls jeopardise my return. Once I'm done with your brat, Pacifica, the rest shall follow!" ranted Bill-Preston.

"You leave her alone!" yelled Preston, not that anyone could hear him in his current state. All he could do was watch while Bill-Preston walked into Pacifica's room. Pacifica woke up to the sight of her dad.

"Dad, it's 2a.m, can't this wait?" yawned Pacifica.

"Remember me, llama-girl?" asked Bill-Preston, menacingly. Pacifica turned her light on, and saw her dad's eyes. The pupils were vertical slits, meaning that Bill was possessing him.

"That's impossible, we defeated you!" yelled Pacifica.

"That was then, and this is now. Goodbye, blondie!" hissed Bill. The commotion woke up Priscilla Northwest, who saw what Preston was about to do.

"Get away from her!" ordered Priscilla.

"Funny how you show concern for your daughter now, when you were living in the lap of luxury, you were content with showing her off like some piece of meat. Telling her how she should look down on everyone else and even what she could wear, emphasising her looks 24/7" goaded Bill-Preston. It was true that Priscilla hadn't been the perfect mother, but being among the middle class had humbled her somewhat.

"I admit it, I was a horrible mother. When I look back on how I was to Pacifica, all I feel is shame. Maybe I should thank you for causing us to lose everything, because it made me see what she means to me, and I will not let you harm her" inspired Priscilla. She then held Bill-Preston back and ordered Pacifica to run. Pacifica darted towards the front door and out of the house. After Pacifica left, she heard a final, blood-curdling scream, and she proceeded to run anywhere but back to the house.

Pacifica was considering her options as she wandered the street at night. She didn't feel safe at all. If it wasn't her possessed father trying to end her, it was all manner of lowlife thuggery that usually came out at night, and in her nightwear, the tension felt ever worse. She decided to head for the police station, hoping to find protection. Once she got there, she knocked frantically, hoping the night watch would let her in. When they did, Pacifica proceeded to tell the cops everything.

"I see, is there anyone we can call?" asked the night watchman.

"My homeroom teacher, Mrs. Watson. She gave me her number in case of emergencies and was insistent I memorise it. She also said I could use it anytime" explained Pacifica. She gave the night watchman Mrs. Watson number, and after a brief phone call later, she arrived with a fresh change of clothes. The cops already gave Pacifica a blanket and some hot chocolate to warm up.

"I got here as soon as I could. Thank you for giving her shelter, officers" said Mrs. Watson. When Pacifica left for the bathroom to change, the officers questioned Mrs. Watson

"Do you know why her father would instigate an attack like this? Any tensions or arguments in the house she told you about?" inquired the officers. Pacifica left out the part where her father was possessed by a demon, as she felt that no-one would believe her.

"None, although she did tell me her father was not adapting well to the change in circumstances, often coming home rambling about being laughed at in the workplace and frustrated at having to do things for himself" answered Mrs. Watson.

"I see, has Pacifica ever told you about being mistreated at home?" quizzed the officer.

"Not since I began teaching her, although she has told me stories about being conditioned, that she would fall silent at the sound of a ringing bell. To my understanding, this happened while she was residing in Northwest Manor" clarified Mrs. Watson.

"Have you ever met Mr. Northwest?" inquired the investigating officer.

"No, and to be honest, I don't want to. Everything I've heard portrays him as some sort of monster who has little regard for his own child" answered Mrs. Watson, honestly.

"That's all we need, thank you" concluded the officer. Unbeknownst to all involved, Preston's astral form was watching over them, making sure Pacifica was not hurt. He was lamenting all he had done to his daughter, and wondered whether it was all worth it. The bell conditioning, in retrospect, was unforgivable. It was, put simply, an act of cruelty, likening Pacifica to some dog that could be trained.

He was also looking back on what else he'd done, covering up all the lies and deceit the Northwest family committed over the centuries. The lumberjack ghost incident; where he'd be willing to let everyone else turn to wood because he didn't want commoners in his manor. Offering to throw in with Bill during his first bid for domination, despite his daughter's protests, and now, taking this deal with Bill. Where had it all gotten him? Invisible to everyone else, Preston had a look of shame in his eyes.

Pacifica had returned from the bathroom in her new clothes, and the officers in charge lay it out for her.

"Mrs. Watson has offered to take you to a safe house, as she put it, until we grab your father. Until then, I'm afraid you cannot return home, as it is now a crime scene. We have called the hospital, and they have sent an ambulance to retrieve your mother. Under no circumstances are you to leave this safe house, clear?" outlined the officer.

"Yes, sirs. Thank you" acknowledged Pacifica. But then, the door came bursting open, and Bill-Preston was coming in.

"Thought you'd escaped me, princess?!" menaced Bill-Preston. The night watchman called for units to come to the front and restrain the intruder. Sure enough, they had him on the floor and cuffed. He was still struggling, so Mrs. Watson delivered a knock-out punch to Bill-Preston, which rendered him out-cold.

"I practiced jujitsu in my younger years" stated Mrs. Watson. When she knocked out Bill-Preston, Bill left his host body, allowing Preston to climb back in, albeit dazed and in a police cell. Preston saw this as his penance, and hoped that Pacifica would bring about a new chapter for the Northwest family, one of change and kindness.

Once Pacifica and Mrs. Watson were in her car, the truth was revealed. Mrs. Watson was an agent of the Excalibur Institute, assigned to protect Pacifica from incidents exactly like this one. She had gotten a code Yellow Triangle prior to getting the phone call from the police station, and that meant only one thing.

"So, Bill has returned?" realised Pacifica.

"I'm afraid so. The other chosen of the zodiac should arrive at the safe house shortly. From there, we can develop a plan of attack" explained Agent Watson. Pacifica peaked at this news. If the other zodiac people would be there, it was a chance to see Dipper again. Even though Dipper and Pacifica didn't start on friendly terms, after the lumberjack ghost, their relationship grew to the point where Pacifica, on occasion, found herself admiring him. Ever since Dipper left Gravity Falls, Pacifica secretly wished he would return, and bring with him the smile she grew to love.

Once Pacifica arrived at the safe house Excalibur had set up, she found almost everyone associated with the zodiac in one place.

"Isn't this dangerous? Getting us all in one place is how Bill thwarted the zodiac last time" mused Gideon.

"This place has been lined with the unicorn hair spell that protected the shack, so we should be fine" explained Mabel.

"Dudes, I can't help but notice we're two short. Where are Stanley and Stanford?" inquired Soos.

"We only just got through to them, they said they were bringing back some kind of artefact from Africa" answered Dipper.

Elsewhere, in the Tri-State Area, Queen Moon was finished setting up anti-Bill defences around the Flynn-Fletcher house.

"Now, I don't have enough ingredients to protect your friends' houses, but I can provide them with these amulets to keep Bill out of their dreams" explained Moon.

"We can't thank you enough, Your Majesty. Phineas hasn't been the same since his encounter with Bill" thanked Lynda. Ever since he built the portal, Phineas had been on edge. Every time someone got close to him, he would check their pupils to see if they were possessed or not, and spent countless hours on schematics for anti-Bill weapons. After Moon told him that magic was the only defence against a being like Bill, Phineas eased off, but was still paranoid that Bill would try and get to him.

"It only makes sense for him to be a little paranoid. After all, only he knows where the disc to turn on his portal at Excalibur is" clarified Candace.

"Hopefully, with this, Phineas can get some restful sleep" concluded Moon. In the nightmare realms, Bill was watching them.

"Looks like I can't get to Phineas directly, so I guess I'll have to try some indirect methods" mused Bill, and he contemplated his next move.

Author's note: I may be in the minority here, but I believe that the Northwest parents were humbled by their experience with Bill and (mostly) learned their lesson. I do not believe that they are the truly abusive sort as most fanfics depict them, just a product of their environment. They, like Pacifica, can choose to change themselves. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing. Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb, and Disney owns them all.


	11. Tribal tomes

**Tribal tomes**

Stanley and Stanford Pines were quite a way into their world trip, sailing on their boat, dubbed the 'Stan o' war 2', when they reached the coast of Ghana, in central Africa. Having dealt with the residual anomalies that Wierdmageddon left behind, the twins decided that Africa would be the best place to start revitalising their childhood dream of finding lost treasure.

"Never thought I'd find myself back in Africa, after my stint as a travelling salesman" mused Stanley. After he was disowned by his family, Stanley already had his own world trip, albeit without Stanford, and was selling increasingly shoddy products to people who would later form angry mobs to run him out of town after the fact.

"Been to prison here, Stanley?" asked Stanford. He was curious as to how Stanley spent his time travelling after that fateful night many years ago. Even when he was in Backupsmore College, and researching the anomalies of Gravity Falls, he would think, on occasion, about his twin, and what he was up to.

"Nope, but let's avoid Kenya while we're here. I'm not exactly welcome there anymore" answered Stanley. When the twins secured the boat, they made their way to a museum in the centre of town, passing by several tourist traps.

"I wonder how the Mystery Shack's doing" said Stanford. While, at first, he wasn't thrilled that his home was turned into a tourist trap in his absence stuck between dimensions, he warmed up to it after hearing what it was for; financing a way to rescue Stanford and pay off the mortgage, something Stanford was very grateful for.

"Soos knows the place inside out, he loves that place. I'm sure it's fine" responded the Mystery Shack's founder. When the twins reached the museum, a bemused Stanley asked;

"Why are we here?"

"I found this when we were in Morocco" answered Stanford, and he presented a parchment which looked like a treasure map, though he couldn't be sure, as the writing was in a language Stanford did not recognise.

"You think it could be a treasure map?" quizzed Stanley.

"That's what we're here to find out. A local at our previous stop mentioned someone who specialises in this stuff working here" clarified Stanford. The twins crossed the threshold into the museum, and asked to see the curator. When the curator, a lively woman around the twins' age, arrived at the front, Stanford showed her the map, and she had a look of utter fear on her face.

"Destroy that map and run" the curator warned.

"What, why? Where does it lead?" inquired Stanford.

"The artefact to which that map leads is cursed. Do yourselves a favour and destroy the map" the curator further cautioned.

"Look, sweet cheeks, we can handle a little cursed treasure. After what we've been through, my brother and I can handle anything that comes our way" replied Stanley, trying to sound impressive.

"You don't understand. The artefact is his creation. It corrupts and twists even the most gentle and benevolent of souls and turns them into monsters" the curator explained.

"Can you tell us where the map leads?" asked Stanford.

"To an island off the Gulf of Guinea. But please, do not go there, and under no circumstances, remove the artefact. It was hidden there for a reason" answered the curator.

"What reason is that?" inquired Stanford, but the curator, realising that convincing the two men to abandon their quest was a futile cause, returned to the museum floor.

"Well, she's one card short of a deck" summarised Stanley.

"Maybe, but I can't get her warnings out of my head. Who created the artefact, and who hid it on the island?" wondered Stanford.

"Look, I used to sell that whole 'cursed object' line to tourists all the time. It's just a campfire story to scare the gullible into buying your merchandise" replied Stanley.

"Maybe you're right. Museum gift shops aren't exactly the most profitable places on earth. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to take a look, see what the fuss is about. Not much of an adventure without a little risk" reasoned Stanford.

"That's the spirit. To the island" stated Stanley. The twins loosened the boat from the moorings and proceeded to the island on the map. Once they arrived, and found a spot to weigh anchor, the twins disembarked the boat, and proceeded inland. After braving the perils of the jungle, they came across a tribal village. The natives spotted them, and brought the twins to their chief.

"Why have you come to this place?" asked the tribal chief.

"We mean your people no harm. We have come searching for this" explained Stanford, and he presented the map that brought them here. The chief and the natives recoiled in fear upon seeing the parchment.

"Leave that, and leave the island. The artefact it describes must never see the light of day again!" warned the chief.

"Not you too. Is there a story behind why everyone is so afraid of this thing?" quizzed a confused Stanley. The chief was whispering to his advisors. After a few seconds, the chief responded.

"Very well, I shall tell you why you must leave and never return" answered the chief, and he began to tell his story.

Story time

Many years ago, my ancestors saw what looked like a shooting star fall onto this very island one night. When they went to investigate, they found a being not of this world, injured but alive. After nursing the stranger back to health, my ancestors inquired about the book he was carrying. The stranger told my ancestors that it was a cursed tome, gifted to a once great prince, and that the tome corrupted his good nature, turned him into a tyrant.

The stranger also said that the tome was a creation of a being he called 'the great deceiver', and warned the islanders never to read its dark texts. My ancestors then hid it in a cave, as per the stranger's instructions, and warned that agents of the great deceiver would come to claim this taboo. And so, this island, its people, and the book's existence, were kept secret from the world.

End story

"This 'great deceiver' sounds like someone I know" mused Stanford. Upon hearing this, the chief examined Stanford closely.

"You have history with the deceiver. Are you his agent?" interrogated the chief, looking ever more fearful.

"If it is who I think it is, I can assure you he's long gone. My brother and I saw to that ourselves" responded Stanford.

"If that is true, then it may be possible to destroy the book. Long have my people sought the deceiver's end, for it would mean that the book is vulnerable. Go then, take the book. I'll have my people show you the way" answered the chief, and he instructed five of his men to act as guides.

"Thank you for your help. We leave in peace" concluded Stanford. Once they were out of earshot from the chief, and the guides assigned to them, Stanley approached his twin cautiously.

"You really think Bill created this cursed book?" whispered Stanley.

"I wouldn't put it past him. Bill has a long history of making shoddy deals that, no offence, make you look like the most honest man on earth by comparison" said Stanford, in a hushed tone.

"None taken, and I'm starting to think we should destroy it. The less of Bill's junk lying around, the better" responded Stanley.

"Me too, but I wouldn't know how" answered Stanford. Once they arrived at the book's burial site, the guides assigned to the twins ran in fear, not wanting to stay any longer than they had to. Stanley and Stanford walked inside the cave, and it all became clear. Whoever dropped off the book left warnings behind, to deter anyone foolish or brave enough to come this far. The book was in the centre of the cave, on a pedestal. Stanford began to read the writing on the walls aloud:

"Contained within this tome lie spells that could do both great good and terrible evil. Hidden by its creator is a darkness designed to seduce those of weak hearts, the corruption ever growing like a disease. Whomsoever finds this cave will be faced with a choice; destroy the book and end the deceiver's legacy, or claim it for themselves and forever be enslaved to the King of Nightmares."

While Stanford was reading this, Stanley was inspecting the pictures, and spotted one that greatly disturbed him.

"Ford, come and take a look at this" Stanley called. Stanford came to inspect the picture that piqued Stanley's interest. The picture was of Bill, granting the tome to a man who the twins assumed was the prince in the chief's story.

"This book's Bill's alright, want to set in on fire and leave this island?" asked Stanford.

"Thought you'd never ask" replied Stanley. He took the torch, set the flame to the book, but nothing happened, not even a cinder.

"That can mean only one thing" said a voice behind the twins. It was the chief.

"The great deceiver is not destroyed. He still lives. This book is connected to him. Only his destruction can end the book's immortality" clarified the chief.

"That's impossible. I saw him burn in my mind! He can't have come back from that!" exclaimed Stanley.

"Somehow, the deceiver finds a way. The one you know as Bill knows many spells. He must have used one to escape death itself" reasoned the chief. Stanford thought about what the chief said.

"Could this book tell us how he survived?" inquired Stanford.

"No! All it takes is one peek into its pages and he will corrupt any goodness in your heart and make you like him" warned the chief.

"This metal plate in my head keeps Bill out of my mind. Maybe it can protect me from his corruption long enough to get the information we need" suggested Stanford. When he demonstrated the metal inside his head, the chief relented.

"Very well, I grant you two minutes. Then I want that book put back where it was, no arguments" stated the chief. The twins agreed, and Stanford began to read. After a minute and a half, Stanford found a spell to give a 'second chance to the remorseful'. Stanford doubted that Bill was capable of remorse, but he reasoned that Bill may have tricked the entity referred to as 'the Axolotl' into giving him this chance.

"Axolotl, my time has come to burn. I invoke the ancient power, that I may return" Stanford read aloud. Concluding that this was the spell Bill used to cheat death, Stanford put the book back on the pedestal and stepped away from it, his head aching from resisting its dark power.

"Wait, record those lines" instructed Stanley. Stanford did so. "Now play it backwards." Stanford complied, and Stanley recognised the sound. "I heard Bill say that as he was burning!"

"So that's how he did it. We have to get back to Gravity Falls. We need a plan of action" said Stanford. At this point, one of the chief's men came bursting into the cave.

"More outsiders!" the man cried. Everyone vacated the cave and made for the coastline. Sure enough, speedboats and what looked like a warship could be seen in the distance.

"They're not with us" assured Stanford.

"Although, they don't look like African navy" said Stanley, apprehensively. An authority-like figure stepped off the speedboat, and greeted the twins.

"Gentlemen, it took a while to find you, but we are very resourceful, determined, and in dire need of your help" explained the figure, who introduced himself as Captain Albert Stevens.

"What do you want?" questioned Stanley.

"The Excalibur Institute needs the two symbols of the zodiac you represent once again to help vanquish Bill. The others are already at the safehouse we've arranged. Now, if you'll come with me. I can assure you, your boat is in safe hands" Albert clarified. Upon hearing this, the twins peaked. If the other zodiac members were at this safehouse, then Dipper and Mabel must be there too, and their hearts leapt at the chance for a reunion with their great-niece and nephew. The tribal chief stepped forward to speak to the captain.

"What these two men do is their business, but on behalf of my tribe and the duty I have been sworn to, I must insist you not take the book that has been kept here" commanded the chief, assuming the captain came for the Book of Avalon.

"The Institute had no idea the Book of Avalon was here, all we came here for were the twins. But we recognise the book, and who created it, and I can assure you, we have no desire to read its corrupting pages. We just want to extract Stan and Ford, and we'll be on our way" outlined Albert. The chief fell silent. Once Albert and the twins were onboard the warship, heading for Ghana to take Stan and Ford to the airport, where a high-speed jet would take them back to California, Albert filled them in on what happened, from Murphy's Law, to the portal being rebuilt, and finally, about Mewni.

"So, this Phineas kid was fed the same garbage I was and built the very portal I once dismantled" mused Stanford. Albert confirmed this.

"So, you mean to tell me, that you had Bill under lock and key, then brought the very thing he needed to heal to your base, and you didn't stop to think that Bill had a plan?" asked a frustrated Stanley.

"To be fair, Bill didn't react to Milo's presence initially. It was only after a rescue attempt by Milo's sister that Bill tricked her into setting him free. From there, we have been working damage control. We should be fine as long as Phineas holds his nerve. Last I checked he and his family pretty much have their house on lockdown" explained Albert.

"You can be sure Bill has a plan to recover both disc and portal. Is this Milo boy going to be alright?" quizzed Stanford.

"The princess, Star Butterfly, was able to save his life, but she had to give Bill his body back to do it. Regrettable, but the alternative was to let Bill and Milo die together, so it was a no-win situation" mused Albert, remorsefully. "Milo and Star are on Mewni, recovering from their ordeal, with friends" he added. Albert finalised his story with getting the zodiac members together, and they eventually arrived at the safe house.

"Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Ford" greeted Dipper and Mabel.

"Kids" Stan and Ford responded, and they hugged. After their reunion, Albert laid out the plan.

"Now that we're all here, let me be blunt. It is only a matter of time until Bill gets his hands on the disc needed to turn on Phineas' portal. Excalibur will take extra security precautions, but, I'll be honest, we're only delaying the inevitable. All we're armed with is defensive unicorn spells and the knowledge that Dipper and Mabel have shared with us" briefed Albert.

"I can rebuild my quantum destabiliser. I'll need a few things" suggested Ford.

"Make a list, and I'll see to it you get everything you need" responded Albert. He then finished his briefing.

"For your safety, do not let anyone in or out of this safehouse, period. From this point onwards, we are at war."

On Mewni, Milo and Star were resting on hospital beds, Shane, Amanda and Marco beside them. Milo and Star began to stir, and eventually, awaken, to hugs from their respective friends.

"Can't. Breathe" wheezed Milo, almost suffocating under the pressure of Shane and Amanda's tight hugs. They let go, and chuckled. Star and Marco had a similar interaction when she awoke. Once Shane, Amanda and Marco filled Milo and Star in on what happened, Milo asked the tough question.

"How are we going to defeat Bill?"

"Last time, there was a weapon in place that could defeat him. Excalibur's plan in case of Bill's return is to gather the people needed to recreate that mystical energy force" Shane answered.

"But such a weapon requires Bill be in the same universe as the zodiac. The weapon's useless while he's in the Nightmare Realm" clarified Star.

"It's a plan of last resort. Excalibur's hope is that they can delay his return. As long as Phineas does not disclose where he hid the activation disc, we'll be fine" outlined Shane.

"But Phineas is just a kid. Do you really think he'll hold out?" inquired Marco.

"We have to have faith. It is the only thing we can do right now" sighed Amanda.

"Isn't there any spell that can destroy Bill in the Nightmare Realms?" inquired Shane.

"The only person I can think of that would know of such a spell is Eclipsa, and I am NOT asking her for help. My mum did that once, and look what happened" answered Star, bluntly.

"Then all we have is each other" summarised Shane.

"Sometimes, that's all you need" countered Marco, and he held Star's hand fondly. Star smiled at this. Marco, it seems, has finally figured out how he felt about Star.

"I just don't want to lose you again, Milo" said Shane, painfully.

"Oh please, I've been dodging death since I could walk. No dream demon's gonna knock me down" encouraged Milo. The others chuckled.

"To move the topic of conversation onto a lighter subject, which of us do you like, Milo, me or Shane?" probed Amanda. Star and Marco were curious as well. Milo had pondered this since Shane's confession. While it is true that Shane hurt his chances when he had Milo and friends drugged, kidnapped and Milo himself experimented on, he had come to forgive these transgressions, as Milo never held grudges.

However, it was clear who Milo truly admired, and so he steeled himself to be the bearer of bad news to at least one person in the room.

"Look, Shane. You're a great guy and a better friend, most of the time. But I don't go that way, and I have had a crush on Amanda since she started our school. I'm sorry" explained Milo, apologetically. Shane understood this, as he felt he had blew his chances with the kidnapping. Milo carried on;

"But you're gonna meet a great guy who'll fall head over heels for you, I'm sure" assured Milo. Shane took heart in hearing this, and was relieved that he and Milo could still be friends. Amanda chose this moment to speak up;

"When all this is over, how about we go see a movie, or a concert, or anything. Just the two of us?" asked Amanda.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be asking you out" Milo teased, and they all shared a laugh.

Author's note: Now it gets interesting. Future chapters will probably have an equal mix of all the shows I've included thus far, as we get closer to the climax. For the little piece at the end, I hope I've written it in a way that does justice to Starco or one-sided same-sex crushes. It was a toss up who I'd pair Milo with, tbh, as I would find it cool if he was bi, but unless Dan and Swampy say otherwise, he's straight as a ruler. Speaking of which, I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	12. Moment's reprieve

**Moment's reprieve**

After being discharged from the Mewman healing hut, Milo accompanied Shane and Amanda back to Earth, where they hoped to put Bill and his insanity behind them. Amanda made the reasonable point that, if Bill ever did emerge, that Excalibur will deal with him, and their involvement should end at this point. After what he had been through the last few days, Milo found it hard to argue. Marco had cut the trio a portal back to Milo's home with his interdimensional scissors, and after some heartfelt goodbyes, Milo, Amanda and Shane went home.

"No more demons, or parallel dimensions, or secret institutes for me. I need some normal time for a change" mused Milo.

"You need to relax, and take your potions. I'll draw up a dosage schedule for you" suggested Amanda. While Milo was over the worst of his ordeal, the healer did say to take some additional doses to clear up any residual demonic corruption symptoms. Unlike Earth medicine, which normally tasted foul, Mewman medicine had a sweet, fruit-like taste, with an aroma of fresh meadows.

Milo crossed the threshold to enter his home, where he was greeted by Melissa, Zack, Sara, and his parents, all of which were very relieved that he had come back in one piece.

"Should've known it would take more than a dream demon to kick you down" inspired Zack.

"Got the old 'Murphy survivor' gene, son" added Martin.

"Thanks, you guys. I'm hoping things can get back to normal, now" responded Milo.

"As normal as things can get around you" mused Melissa. Milo then proceeded to update the group about what happened while he was in the Mewman healing hut, the medicine he was prescribed by the healer, and that Milo and Amanda were an item.

"So, my little brother's got a girlfriend. This is so awesome!" said Sara, excitedly.

"Quite the charmer you are, Milo. She's very sweet" congratulated Brigette.

"You're too kind, Mrs. Murphy" replied Amanda.

"Please, call me Brigette" corrected Brigette. Milo made to have a few words with Shane.

"You didn't tell them you shot me down" noted Shane.

"Are you ready for people to know, now?" asked Milo, concerned.

"I've kept it secret long enough. But only to friends and family. As far as I'm concerned, strangers shouldn't know, and they probably won't care anyway" reasoned Shane.

"If you're sure" assured Milo, then they turned to face the others. Milo then updated the group with the additional detail of Milo having to shoot Shane down.

"I see, at least you were gentle but honest" stated Martin.

"My son's quite the prize. Good thing you have Amanda, or I'm sure you'd be batting them away with a stick" joked Brigette.

"Don't worry, Shane. You'll find Mr. Right in due time" assured Sara.

"Zack's not doing anything tonight" suggested Melissa. Shane thought this was a joke to lighten the mood, as he was definitely sure Zack didn't go that way either.

"Funny, I thought you wanted to date him" countered Shane, and they all laughed. It was getting late, so everyone made for bed. Milo kissed Amanda goodbye, and Melissa and Zack offered to take her home. Milo wanted to, but the dosage schedule Amanda drew up wouldn't allow it. After taking his night-time potion, Milo nodded off to sleep.

The next day, Milo was wondering what to do with his summer, now that he had a lot more free time. When he went downstairs to have breakfast, he was surprised to find Amanda waiting for him.

"Rise and shine, sweetie" greeted Amanda. Milo had only been in this relationship for a day. He did not have any previous experience to draw on. Still, what's life without a little challenge.

"You're a wonderful sight to wake up to, sweetie" responded Milo.

"Amanda wanted to see if you were OK and taking your meds. She's a keeper, Milo" explained Brigette.

"I don't know what's in these and I don't care. As long as they keep Bill out of my dreams" reasoned Milo.

"Melissa and Zack told me they aren't free today. Their families have been worried about them since they kept disappearing over the last few days" outlined Amanda. Milo then got a text message. It was Shane.

"Now Shane's texted me saying he is spending time with family after telling them of his 'attraction' to me" added Milo.

"I hear that's very hard to do. He is a brave boy" complimented Amanda.

"From what I read here, they're taking it well. He's being treated to dinner out as a reward for 'finally being himself'" concluded Milo.

"Good for him, so it's just the two of us, then" implied Amanda.

"Guess so, where do couples go on first dates?" inquired Milo. Both Milo and Amanda thought hard about this. When it came to romance, both were new hands at this. Amanda was thinking about proper date structure, the amount of physical contact you should have with your date etc. But she soon realised that when it came to Milo, nothing ever really goes as planned.

Milo, in turn, was thinking about his dating plan, or lack thereof. He, like Amanda, realised that even the best laid plans never survive Murphy's Law. He was worried that 'the Law' might ruin their good time. This was the first time in a while that he thought that way about his curse. He used to think whatever it brought his way was the good time. But now he was in a relationship with the girl of his dreams, and that was enough good times for him.

"Why don't we try something away from anything heavy, sharp or poisonous" suggested Milo.

"We could go to the amusement park. It's a great start, plus, cute couples get in free" added Amanda.

"As long as we avoid the extra-fast rides. The mewman healer tells me that the potions don't work well when the body is subject to stress" explained Milo.

"That's fine. It doubles as a zoo, anyway" confirmed Amanda. They made their way to the amusement park/zoo. The cashier took one look at the pair, decided that they indeed were a cute couple, and let them in free. She also gave them a schedule of all the exciting animal shows going on throughout the day.

"I hate to bring this up, but you did prepare defences for 'the Law' right?" inquired Amanda.

"I think I remember something about 'minimising the effects of any curses' in the healer's explanation of how these potions work" answered Milo.

"So, these things can treat Murphy's Law?" asked Amanda, intrigued.

"In theory, yes. But the healer also told me that they can lose their effectiveness if taken long term" concluded Milo. Now that he thought about it, he could, if he wanted to, ask Star and Marco if they could set him up with a 'Murphy's Law treatment program' on Mewni, if it really was a curse. Of course, since they decided to stay on Mewni, something about rebuilding after a battle with a suit-wearing lizard, communication was a challenge.

"I find it fun to see what it brings us" said Amanda. As the day went on, Milo and Amanda saw some really fascinating animal shows; displays of falconry, plays with sea lions, and dolphins jumping through hoops. They stopped for lunch at a nearby hot dog stand. Milo took his lunchtime dose, and the pair planned on what they would do for the rest of the day.

"If we're avoiding the fast rides, may I suggest the 'Tunnel of Love'?" proposed Amanda. This got Milo nervous. It was a well-documented fact that couples who go in that tunnel end up 'going to first base'. The only physical contact the pair had up to this point were small cheek kisses. What Amanda was proposing seemed a little fast. But Milo was always up for a challenge.

"Are you going to rate my kissing skills?" asked Milo, flirtatiously.

"I may do, on a scale of 1 to 10" countered Amanda.

"I accept that challenge" said Milo. They both chuckled, and proceeded to the Tunnel of Love.

When they got there, and took their boat through, Milo was frantic. What had he done? He had zero experience at this. Various thoughts were rattling around inside his head. What if Amanda found his kissing terrible. Or worse, what if he couldn't control himself and did something that Amanda found repulsive. In the end, this could only be learned by doing, and as the tunnel grew closer, the time came to take the plunge.

When Milo and Amanda found themselves at the tunnel's mouth, they both said 'here we go' and their lips made contact. This wasn't bad, thought Milo. As their tongues made contact, he thought that he could definitely get used to this. Amanda, too, was impressed by Milo's performance, his gentle nature and slow approach allowed her to savour him. As they reached the tunnel's exit, they parted.

"So, how did I do?" inquired Milo, in the same flirting tone he took when he accepted this challenge.

"You broke the scale" answered Amanda. It was lucky they were in a public place, or the couple might dive in for seconds. Milo was relieved to hear the answer she gave, for it boosted his confidence ten-fold. The day came to a close, and as the park closed for the day, Milo and Amanda made their way home. Milo insisted on walking Amanda to her door this time. When the happy couple said their goodbyes, and kissed goodnight, Milo walked home, to find Melissa and Zack catching up to him.

"So, how'd your date go?" quizzed Zack, eager for details.

"We had a really great time at the amusement park" answered Milo, and he regaled his friends with the tale of how they saw wonderful sights, went through the tunnel of love, and absolutely nothing went wrong.

"First base on the first date? What's your secret?" asked Zack.

"I shouldn't brag, it's not very gentleman-like to kiss and tell" teased Milo, which got a laugh from Melissa. The trio found themselves at Milo's door, said their goodbyes, and after necking his night-time dose for the day, Milo went to bed.

Agents Brick and Savannah considered themselves professionals, never failing a mission, from ending World Wars 3,4 and 5 before they could even begin, to curing the common cold, there was nothing they couldn't do. They had just returned from another assignment in their time limo; ensuring the world hunger crisis came to an end in the future.

"Well, that was interesting, certainly better than our last mission" mused Brick.

"I only wish we could save the cure for cancer and overthrow North Korea, but you can't have everything" stated Savannah. Just then, a communication came to their limo from Mr. Block, their CO.

"Ready for new assignment, sir" said Brick and Savannah.

"Good, your new assignment is to retrieve this disc" briefed Mr. Block, and he showed them an image of their next objective.

"Does it contain any sensitive data, sir?" inquired Savannah.

"It contains the self-destruct codes to a secret superweapon in development by this organisation" further briefed Mr. Block, and he showed them an image of a building with an unfamiliar logo.

"I'm not familiar with them" stated Brick.

"They call themselves the Excalibur Institute, and they are after what everyone is after; world domination. Your mission is to obtain the disc by any means necessary, infiltrate their base, and insert it into the superweapon's disc drive, which they are keeping in their vault. Any questions?" concluded Mr. Block.

"Just one. Do you have any leads on the disc's whereabouts?" quizzed Savannah.

"This kid found and hid the disc. Only he knows where it is" answered Mr. Block, and he showed them an image of a boy with a triangle-shaped head.

"His name is Phineas Flynn, and he is where you should start. He resides in Danville. I'm sending co-ordinates to Excalibur to your vehicle. Good luck, agents" said Mr. Block, and the call was terminated. Brick and Savannah received the co-ordinates, and set off on their next mission.

Author's note: It's been a while since I wrote a chapter focusing on Milo. This was my first, rather pathetic, attempt at writing a date chapter. I suck at this, the only reason i wrote it to begin with was because, after kidnapping, experimenting on and nearly getting Milo killed by a dream demon, I felt he deserved some levity, especially with his crush, Amanda. The usual disclaimers: I own nothing, Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	13. The Starco connection

**The Starco connection**

Since seeing off Milo, Amanda and Shane, Star and Marco have been itching to have their own conversation about where they were headed. Inspired by Milo's touching and heartfelt confession to Amanda, Marco decided to bring up the topic when Star was discharged from the Mewman healing hut, and they got back to Castle Butterfly.

"You never answered before, do you still have that crush on me?" inquired Marco, uncomfortably. Star thought about her answer for a bit, then, after taking a deep breath, she responded.

"Yes, I do." Marco was secretly hoping for this answer. After Star took off to fight Toffee, and again after seemingly losing her for good, twice, Marco understood what she meant to him, and feared ever losing her again. He may have liked Jackie, but it took facing his worst fear to realise one truth; he loved Star. Marco took Star into a warm embrace, and said the words Star was hoping for.

"I love you, too." With those words, came a realisation; Ruberiot was right about them. Star and Marco both agreed to never tell Ruberiot of their 'coupling', or they would be inundated with song suggestions for their wedding. At this moment, Star's best friend, Princess Pony Head came bursting in.

"Told you I'd called it!" Pony blurted out, and she proceeded to race down the corridors yelling "Starco's a thing! Get the cake and wedding dress!" Needless to say, Star and Marco were very embarrassed, their faces growing ever redder by the minute.

"What is all this racket?" called Moon, Star's mother. She had gotten back from protecting the Flynn-Fletcher house from Bill, hoping that would delay his return, to find a floating pony head yelling the castle down. She then saw Star and Marco in their embrace, and found her answer.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said this surprised me. After Song Day, I figured you two would end up together" remarked Moon.

"That, and dad already thought we were dating when he came to visit" added Star.

"Well, considering that Marco and his family took you in when we put you on Earth for magic training, and all that Marco himself has done for the kingdom, I see no reason not to give you my blessings" concluded Moon, and she left them to their business, partly because she wanted to shut Pony Head up.

"So, how did you leave things with Jackie?" inquired Star. It is true that Marco never went into specifics regarding their break-up, and Star wanted to make sure that there were no hard feelings.

"Well…." Started Marco, and he told the tale to his new girlfriend.

Begin flashback

Since Toffee was destroyed, Marco realised he never called Jackie to tell her what he was doing. Marco doubted that Jackie would be mad, considering she wasn't the jealous type, but when he wanted to stay and rebuild, he decided he should call home to let them know he was alright. After Moon upgraded his phone to include interdimensional minutes, Marco first called his parents to let them know his intentions.

"It is only fair for you to want to spend time with your partner in crime after such an ordeal" answered Rafael.

"Be sure to call us once in a while to say hi" instructed Angie. Marco said that he would, and hung up. Then came the uncomfortable part; calling Jackie. Marco decided the sooner he bit the bullet, the faster it would be over. He dialled Jackie's number nervously, and she responded.

"Marco, how are you? You seemed down after Star left" said Jackie. She had been one of the first to notice Marco's spiralling depression since Star left, which got Jackie very confused. On the one hand, your boyfriend being depressed means you should lend a comforting hand, but when he was depressed about another girl, particularly one he spent so much time with, she could not help but wonder.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about" replied Marco, and he told the story of Ludo's subjugation of Mewni, Toffee's return and subsequent defeat at the hands of a presumably dead Star.

"So, I'm going to be staying on Mewni to help rebuild" concluded Marco.

"Marco, does this have anything to do with what Star said before she left?" quizzed Jackie. Marco decided to take the honest approach to this question.

"A little. She's one of my best friends, and I almost lost her today" responded Marco.

"Marco, I want an honest answer to the next question I'm about to ask; do you love her?" inquired Jackie. Marco thought about this. While it was true that he had a crush on Jackie since kindergarten, that was before Star came into his life, and even some time after she did Marco never thought of her that way. When Marco started dating Jackie, he thought he'd achieved his dream. But the more and more into their relationship they went, Marco started to realise that he and Jackie weren't the same as him and Star.

"Marco, every date we've been on, you've run off to talk to her on at least one occasion. I don't want to sound jealous, but is it me or her?" further interrogated Jackie. When Star confessed to everyone in the room, including Jackie, about her crush on Marco, his head started doing loop-the-loops. It was only when they reunited in the dungeon, and that he thought Toffee had killed her, that he realised that he had more chemistry with Star than he ever did with Jackie.

"I'm sorry, Jackie. I like you a lot. But, if I have to be honest, I love Star" concluded Marco.

"I kinda knew you two had a thing, even before the party. I'm not mad, and I won't get in the way. Goodbye, Marco" said Jackie, and she hung up. Marco noted, from the tone in her voice, that she was trying hard not to cry. Marco felt guilty about this, it had not been his intention to upset her, but she did ask for honesty.

End flashback

"So, that's it, really" finished Marco.

"We should go talk to her. We never really got a chance to see Jackie when we were last on Earth" suggested Star.

"I agree. I hated doing it over the phone. She deserves better" confirmed Marco, with a tone of guilt.

"She at least needs to be warned about Bill. All our friends do. He may try to use them against us" reasoned Star. Marco agreed, and made off to tell Moon and River where they were going and why.

"Yes, I agree. The more people are aware of Bill and his trickery, the more prepared we'll be against him when he makes his big entrance" concurred Moon, and Star and Marco left via dimensional scissor portal to Marco's room. After saying hello to Mr and Mrs. Diaz, Star messaged all her friends for an emergency friend meeting. When everyone arrived, Jackie included, rather reluctantly, Star thanked them all for coming, and began her announcements.

"So, first things first, Marco and I are a thing now, but half of you in this room probably suspected something beforehand" started Star.

"Yeah, half of us" added Janna sarcastically. After some initial congratulations from the group, including Jackie, who did not seem overly upset, but still a little hurt, Star continued.

"Secondly, do any of you know this guy?" Star asked the group, and showed them an image of Bill.

"What's this? Trigonometry homework someone doodled on?" inquired Janna.

"His name is Bill, and he's very dangerous" answered Star, and she proceeded to explain how Bill forced her into creating a new body by holding someone's life on the line, and told the same story Dipper and Mabel told her and Marco about Bill's previous appearance on Earth.

"Wait, so you came back to Earth and didn't bother to let me know?" questioned Jackie. This was aimed at Marco more than anyone else.

"I'm sorry, Jackie, but there wasn't time. The Pines twins were in my home telling stories to my folks, then we had to help a dying boy with Star's magic, and after that, Star needed hospitalising" explained Marco. Jackie seemed to understand this answer.

"Bill can also enter people's dreams, and make deals that basically means he gets control of your body once the hands are shaken, so please be careful" warned Star.

"You don't need to worry about me, girl. I got no hands to shake" assured Pony Head, and once everyone else gave their assurances that they'll be vigilant, Star and Marco were left alone with Jackie at Star's request.

"So, Jackie….." Star began, but Jackie interrupted. "It's fine, I don't blame you for my break-up with Marco" Jackie consoled.

"But I took your boy, aren't you mad?" inquired Star.

"To be honest, I am a little peeved that Marco did it by phone" Jackie answered.

"I know, and I feel horrible about it. That's one of the reasons I'm here now" replied Marco.

"I need to see you say it; you love Star, don't you?" asked Jackie, knowing the answer.

"I almost lost her twice, and I can't bear to lose her again. I do love her, more than anything" confirmed Marco. Jackie turned to Star.

"For the record, you didn't take Marco from me, he's his own person, and if he's happier with you than me, who am I to get in the way? But promise me you'll look after him, he means a lot to me" said Jackie, with conviction.

"I promise, Jackie" answered Star, and the three hugged, signifying that, despite the circumstances, they were still friends. After Jackie left, Star and Marco were alone at last.

"We should be getting back" suggested Star.

"Actually, I think Mewni can wait, there's something else I want to do first" countered Marco.

"What's that?" asked Star.

"This" answered Marco, and their lips made contact. Star was pleasantly surprised. She had waited a long time for this, so she wanted to make it last as long as possible. After about two minutes of tongue wrestling, they parted.

"So, was that worth the wait?" quizzed Marco, flirtatiously.

"Totally" replied Star, equally as flirtatious, and they carried on.

In Danville, Brick and Savannah arrived at the Flynn-Fletcher house, and they discussed amongst themselves how they were going to get the disc's location out of Phineas.

"Subtle, but gentle?" suggested Savannah.

"He's eight, not an idiot. He won't crack under such little pressure" countered Brick.

"It is because he's eight that we shouldn't put too much pressure on him. His parents will get mad and kick us out" reasoned Savannah.

"Child or not, we need that disc. I don't remember this much restraint when we chased the backpack kid's friends" argued Brick.

"They were teenagers, and Phineas is just a little kid. They are substantially harder to interrogate" Savannah pointed out.

"Good. I like a challenge" Brick said, eagerly. Brick and Savannah surveyed the house, and found it like a fortress.

"Are they expecting us, or is home defence all the rage now?" wondered Brick.

"There's more to this. We need more information, and I know how to get it" answered Savannah. They knocked on the door, and a woman, presumably Phineas' mother, answered.

Can I help you?" she greeted.

"Yes, we're with the U.S. Census Bureau, and we need to record how many people live in this house" lied Savannah. At this point, the woman, who introduced herself as Linda, examined their eyes carefully. This threw Brick and Savannah off-guard.

"Mind explaining that?" quizzed Brick.

"Doesn't matter. Come in, make yourself at home" welcomed Linda. Brick and Savannah crossed the threshold into Linda's home, and accepted the tea she offered.

"So, it's just me, my husband Lawrence, our two boys, Phineas and Ferb, and our teenage daughter, Candace" explained Linda. At this point, Phineas and Ferb came downstairs. Seeing Phineas, Brick and Savannah broke their cover, not being suited to spy work, and deployed a gadget that instantly tied Phineas up.

"What's going on? Release my son!" demanded Linda.

"Oh, we will, as soon as he tells us where the disc is" answered Savannah.

"What disc?" lied Phineas, unconvincingly.

"Kid, did anyone tell you you're a terrible liar. We know you hid a disc containing the self-destruct codes to a super-weapon somewhere. We need them to do what we do best, everything" interrogated Brick.

"Self-destruct? That disc turns on the weapon! Where do you get your intel from?!" retorted Phineas.

"Cut the act, kid. The disc, now!" demanded Brick.

"You said it yourself, I'm a terrible liar. The disc you want turns the weapon on, and I was ordered to keep it safe and secure" countered Phineas.

"How do you know this? Who ordered you to keep the disc safe? Was it Excalibur?" questioned Brick.

"Untie me, and I'll tell you everything, but please, keep an open mind about what you're going to hear" answered Phineas. Brick and Savannah thought for a moment, then they de-activated Phineas' restraints, and he began to tell them everything that happened.

"So, that's basically it. I know what the disc and weapon do, because I built it, and now Bill wants to use it to dominate the world" concluded Phineas. Brick and Savannah thought this was all crazy. Sure, kids had imaginations, but this was a little extreme. Dream demons, royalty from another dimension, and portals to nightmare realms. Brick and Savannah thought that Phineas was in obvious need of psychological help, but decided to use this to their advantage.

"You were ordered to keep the disc safe. We can do that for you. Just tell us where you hid it, and all this will be behind you, I promise" said Savannah, feigning sympathy. Phineas thought about this for a moment, then he made a decision.

"It's here, in the house. That's why we fortified the place and had everyone checked for signs of possession before they came in. I'll go get it now, and I never want to see that disc again. Making that deal was the worst mistake of my life, and I no longer want my family involved in Bill's antics" concluded Phineas, and he went to get the disc. Several moments later, he returned, and handed the disc over to Savannah.

"Thank you, Phineas. We appreciate your faith in us" thanked Savannah, further feigning gratitude, and she and Brick left the house.

"Well, that was easy" remarked Savannah.

"You even fooled me, how do you do it?" asked Brick.

"That's my secret" teased Savannah. Brick chuckled at this.

"Now, we have a weapon to destroy" said Brick, and they made off for Excalibur HQ.

Author's note: I hope I addressed Starco in a way that readers will like. I added the flashback because someone pointed out to me that having Marco and Jackie break up off-screen felt cheap, and I agree. Chapter 8 was not my best, and I hope this makes up for it in some small way. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	14. Northwest passage

**Northwest passage**

In the Excalibur safehouse, Pacifica Northwest was uneasy. The circumstances behind her arrival were less ideal than anyone else in the room, but she was awaiting news of her parents' fate. She was told that her mother was stable, having only received minor injuries. Her father, on the other hand, had it harder. While Excalibur did their best, the undeniable fact was that Preston Northwest, under the control of Bill, attacked both his wife and daughter, and was caught in a police station trying to silence the latter forever.

Pacifica was allowed to watch her father's trial on one of Excalibur's monitors. She had been subpoenaed to testify on behalf of the prosecution, and while it was anonymous, she didn't particularly enjoy being the deciding factor that could see her father sent away. Even without the attempted murder, the investigation brought to light all the lies the Northwest family ever told. What resulted was a laundry list of fraud, theft and backroom dealings that would've bankrupted the Northwests even if they didn't invest in weirdness bonds, not to mention the bell conditioning on Pacifica herself.

After Pacifica had given her testimony, and the defence presented their case, the jury retired to consider their verdict. If there was one thing Pacifica hated doing more than anything else, it was waiting. Dipper noted her uneasiness, and tried his best to make her feel like she had a friend.

"How are you doing?" Dipper asked, comfortingly.

"I just testified against my father, what do you think?" Pacifica rebutted. Dipper understood her pain. While he did not have favourable opinions on the Northwest parents, it was hard seeing a family member being carted off in handcuffs, after all, he saw that happen with his great uncle.

"What about your mother? What'll happen to her, do you know?" Dipper inquired, trying to steer the conversation away from her father.

"I'll know when the verdict is passed down, but from what social services tell me, it doesn't look good" Pacifica answered grimly. When Priscilla took the stand, she outlined to the court the full extent of her negligence and attitude towards Pacifica while they resided in Northwest Manor. It had even been she who suggested to Preston the use of the bell conditioning, noting that it had worked well on dogs she used to have. Sure enough, the jury was escorted back into the courtroom, and the judge resumed proceedings.

"Has the jury reached a verdict in which you are all agreed?" asked the judge. When the foreman said that they have, the judge called for the defendant to rise.

"On the first count of attempted homicide in the second degree, how do you find?" quizzed the judge.

"We find the defendant, Preston Northwest, guilty" confirmed the foreman, and the other counts and verdicts were listed. It was the same all throughout. Preston Northwest was found guilty of the attempted murder of both Priscilla and Pacifica Northwest, as well as a slew of fraud, theft and child abuse charges. Needless to say, he was not seeing the light of day for a very long time.

"Very well" the judge said, and he turned to Preston. "Preston Northwest, you had a responsibility as a husband and father to protect your family from harm and to ensure their safety. You have failed on both counts. Add to that you are also a proven white-collar criminal, and I personally cannot believe you escaped justice this long. I can only hope that wherever your daughter ends up as a result of this, she will be in better care than you ever provided."

"If I may, Your Honor, can I say one last thing to Pacifica?" asked Preston, with a hint of remorse.

"You can, but afterward, I will pronounce sentence" clarified the judge. Preston then turned to the screen in the witness box.

"Pacifica, I admit I was not the best father in the world. In fact, I was the farthest thing from. But I see in you the possibility that our family name can be redeemed. So, I have one last request for you. Do whatever you can to ensure the Northwest family name not be mired in lies, deceit and hatred. Make it a symbol of hope, equality and fairness. I'm proud of you, Pacifica, farewell" concluded Preston. Pacifica fought back tears after hearing the last words she would ever hear her father say.

"Admirable sentiment, Mr. Northwest" complimented the judge, and then the time came. "Mr. Northwest, this court sentences you to 25 years in a maximum-security prison, and that any remaining capital be used to re-imburse the victims of your family's fraudulent practices that are still living. At the completion of your sentence, any wages you earn will be garnished until full repayment is achieved. Court is adjourned" the judge signed off, and Preston was led out of the courtroom.

"So, that's it. My father is going to jail. Somehow, I knew this would happen" mused Pacifica.

"I'm sorry, Pacifica" consoled Dipper.

"Don't be. My father was a jerk, you saw that yourself. He probably deserves this. My mother, though" Pacifica countered.

"I'm sure the family court will be lenient once they hear she defended you from Bill-Preston" assured Dipper. It was decided, during Preston's trial, that the matter of Priscilla's fitness to be around Pacifica be decided by a civil court instead of a criminal court.

"Maybe, but I will have to tell them that my mother treated me like a thing to be shown off to her rich friends and was never around as much" said Pacifica. Dipper tried to find more words of comfort, but was lost for them.

"I guess this is something else we're going to make Bill pay for" concluded Pacifica, and she did something she didn't expect to do. She hugged Dipper, and didn't offer to pay him to pretend it never happened. Dipper hugged back, and they were in this embrace for a good few minutes before an Excalibur agent buzzed the com with urgent news. After talking to their handler over the comm system, an announcement was made to the zodiac members.

"I have just been told that two people managed to get their hands on Phineas' activation disc, and are on their way to Excalibur HQ as we speak. We don't know what their intentions are or if they've been taken over, but we're beefing up security just in case" announced the handler.

"I'm almost finished with my quantum destabiliser, just need one or two more adjustments" said Stanford.

"Do we know how the pair got their hands on the disc?" asked Mabel.

"Apparently, they made their way in disguised as census workers, and persuaded Phineas to hand the disc over, saying they would keep it safe for him" answered the handler.

"What about Milo? Has Bill made any moves towards him?" asked Dipper.

"According to Cavendish and Dakota, Bill's left Milo alone. They also provided the names of the two time agents who got a hold of the disc; Brick and Savannah" clarified the handler. As part of an extra means to ensure Milo was not still suffering any residual effects of Bill's corruption, Albert asked Cavendish and Dakota to keep an eye on Milo. They agreed, rather reluctantly, and had been feeding Excalibur regular updates on Milo's recuperation.

After a while, the time came for Pacifica to give evidence in the family court. Priscilla Northwest looked shaken, but well, despite her ordeal. She held nothing back, expressing how she was the worst example of a mother she could think of, treating Pacifica as something to show off, and having her conditioned with the bell like a dog. But when Pacifica came to her defence, saying it was ultimately Priscilla who defended her from Preston, the judge was, as Dipper predicted, lenient.

"It is in my opinion, Ms. Northwest, that you are genuinely remorseful for your prior actions, and that losing everything has humbled you. But I must impress upon you the seriousness of your crimes. I will spare you of prison for child neglect, but I cannot, in good judgement, let you around Pacifica until you have proven you can be a fit mother. So, it is this court's ruling, that Pacifica be put into foster care, with once weekly supervised visits, until a social worker is convinced Pacifica is safe with you" ruled the judge.

"If I may, Your Honor, I can suggest a good family who would be glad to take Pacifica in until such a time" suggested Priscilla. The judge was intrigued, and allowed her to continue.

"The Pines family. Pacifica spent some time with Dipper and Mabel Pines last summer, and thinks of them fondly, especially the boy. I know they can give Pacifica a good home, better than I can" clarified Priscilla.

"I see, if the Pines family agree, then Pacifica can stay with them. If not, she will have to be in the care of the state. But if it is as you say, I see no problems moving forward with your suggestion. Court dismissed" ruled the judge. Sure enough, Dipper got a call from his mother about letting Pacifica stay with them. After Dipper and Mabel explained how they knew Pacifica, they agreed to let her stay.

"So, is Pacifica your girlfriend?" asked Mrs. Pines, teasingly. Dipper chuckled nervously at this.

"What, no! She's just a good friend we met in Gravity Falls" Dipper replied, blushing hard and still chuckling nervously.

"Yeah, right. I've seen you sneak in glances at her when you thought no-one was looking" Mabel teased further.

"Mabel, cut it out!" Dipper retorted, and they all laughed.

Back at Excalibur HQ, Albert was in his office, being briefed on the latest developments by his XO, Kilstone.

"This isn't Phineas' fault, I should never have involved him to begin with" summarised Albert, with a touch of guilt.

"What do we do now?" inquired Kilstone.

"Increase security at the vault. Full lockdown, no-one gets in or out without my authorisation" ordered Albert. Kilstone acknowledged this, and proceeded to carry out the instructions.

Outside Excalibur HQ's main gate, Brick and Savannah arrived in their time limo, disc in hand, discussing infiltration strategies.

"The place is locked down tight. Are they expecting us?" wondered Brick. They then spied what looked like two agents drive up to the gates. The security guard on duty was studying their eyes carefully, something Brick and Savannah found unusual.

"Again with the eyes, why do they do that?" noted Savannah.

"I don't know and I don't care, we have a weapon to destroy" answered Brick. The two agents used some gadgets to forge identification papers, and proceeded to the gates.

"ID's please" asked the security guard. Brick and Savannah presented their forgeries, and the security guard checked their eyes. After a while, the guard entered his booth. He checked Brick and Savannah's faces on the database, and found a note.

"You can go on in. Captain Stevens is expecting you. My colleagues will show you to his office" briefed the security guard, and two additional security personnel escorted Brick and Savannah to Captain Stevens' office. While Brick and Savannah said they knew the way, the guard was insistent on having them escorted. Deciding to keep up the infiltration routine, upon coming to the conclusion that this place was heavily armed, Brick and Savannah did not protest.

When they arrived at Captain Stevens' office, the yeoman paged the captain to let him know his arrivals had shown up. The door opened, and Albert welcomed his new guests. Brick and Savannah entered.

"You'll forgive security. Dream demons bringing the end of days gets people paranoid, you understand" stated Albert.

"Not you, too. Have you been listening to that crazy kid, Phineas?" asked Savannah.

"That kid is smarter than he looks. Not everyone can prove cold fusion in one afternoon or plan a day trip to outer space" retorted Albert. He then showed Brick and Savannah footage of Phineas and Ferb's exploits. This made Brick and Savannah question whether or not he was crazy at all.

"What have you been told about us?" inquired Albert, wanting to get to the heart of why these two had infiltrated his institute.

"That you have a weapon, and that this disc turns it off" answered Brick. When Albert asked who told them this, Savannah clarified that it was their superior, Mr. Block.

"Isn't he Cavendish and Dakota's CO? I thought he was more pre-occupied with saving the pistachio, which, incidentally, is a very bad idea" remarked Albert.

"Who sent us and why is irrelevant. We're destroying that weapon and you can't stop us" stated Brick. Albert decided to take a different approach.

"Alright then, I'll even show you down. This way, please" said Albert, and he motioned Brick and Savannah forward.

"What, just like that. What's your game?" interrogated Savannah, taken aback by this sudden change in tone.

"No game. I don't want to interfere with your mission, as noble as it is" countered Albert, as they were in the lift going towards the vault. Once the door to the portal opened, Albert showed them in.

"Go ahead, put the disc in, let's see what happens. Should be quite a show" remarked Albert.

"Your bluff's not going to work" retorted Savannah.

"Who's bluffing. I even had a guy fetch some popcorn. So, which of you is going to do the honours?" inquired Albert. Brick, Savannah and Albert stared each other down, hoping that one of them would cave. After what seemed like an eternity, when it had only been five minutes, Brick handed the disc to Albert.

"Thank you kindly" thanked Albert.

"It makes sense to get all the intelligence first before proceeding. But if what you say is a lie, we will destroy your 'portal' thing" warned Savannah.

"Feel free to stick around, it's quite a story" responded Albert.

Author's note: I originally had Brick and Savannah put the disc in and start Wierdmageddon 2.0 in this chapter, but then I figured that those two wouldn't follow orders blindly without doing some digging, they're too smart for that. Also, I may have said that I don't believe the Northwests were the abusive kind. I still believe that, but try explaining the 'I was possessed' defence without being carted off to a loony bin. The usual disclaimers; I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Milo Murphy's Law and Phineas and Ferb, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	15. Off the grid

**Off the grid**

Since entrusting the disc to Brick and Savannah, Phineas had enjoyed a more relaxed summer. He had enough of Bill, Excalibur and all manner of chaos that followed them. For the first time ever, Phineas wanted a quiet summer, with no inventions that could end the world, or demonic possessed middle schoolers chasing him up the street. He found that spending time with his friends and family were more than enough to keep him occupied throughout the summer, and slowly, but surely, all thoughts of Bill left his mind.

"I wonder what the others are up to. We haven't seen much of them since the unpleasantness" Phineas mused. Isabella, Buford and Baljeet hadn't been over to their house since the anti-Bill security measures went up. Sure, Queen Moon gave them all amulets to protect against possession, but Phineas' paranoia after Bill's visit really un-nerved them. Ferb gave one of his signature silent looks.

"You're right, Ferb, we need to have an intimate get-together, like the good old days of last summer, but what to do?" Phineas implied. He read through all the projects he had planned, but couldn't decide on what to do. His passion for inventing really took a hit with the portal fiasco, and his drive to do the impossible was at an all-time low.

"If you're not happy doing something, perhaps it's best to try something else" Ferb suggested, using his one line for the day.

"Definitely, I don't feel like making these anymore. I thought they would make summer more fun, but doing all that with my friends was the real fun. Maybe we should do something that doesn't involve industry grade construction materials" agreed Phineas. He then proceeded to look at an activity list for Danville. Phineas got these on a regular basis in the summer, along with countless requests for his signature upgrades. He found one that looked promising.

"Maybe we should go bowling. We never got a chance to properly test those new 360 degree lanes we built last summer, or the VR arcade systems" suggested Phineas. Ferb gave a look of agreement, and Phineas called the others. Isabella, Buford and Baljeet all agreed to meet up at the lanes, and the two brothers proceeded to leave the house for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"Dinner's on at 6, don't be late" called Linda, when they left the house. Phineas called back, saying that they won't, and they made for the lanes.

Candace was on her phone, talking to Stacy, as usual. Stacy was particularly worried about the state of the house, as the last time she passed it on the way to the mall, it looked more like a military installation than someone's home. Although Candace tried to convince her of Bill and his trickery, Stacy remained sceptical.

"Come on, Candace. I've googled 'Bill Cipher' and found nothing. Are you sure he's real?" inquired Stacy.

"Trust me, Stacy, he is. Bill almost killed Phineas trying to activate the portal he built, and we had some people come over to guard against future incursions" pressed Candace. She had been careful not to mention the Excalibur Institute in her warnings to Stacy.

"I'm not calling your brother a liar, but maybe he's hysterical. Ginger tells me he hasn't left the house in weeks" implied Stacy.

"What are you saying Stacy, that my brother's gone insane? Anyone would be paranoid after an experience like that!" countered Candace.

"I'm not calling Phineas crazy, either. It's just kids that age have big imaginations and maybe Phineas is taking things to an extreme" argued Stacy.

"You don't know. You didn't see what Bill could do. Since his visit, I've stocked up on apocalypse supplies for when he does make his grand entrance" said Candace.

"OK, I'm hanging up now. Call me when sane Candace comes back" concluded Stacy, and she hung up. Candace was frustrated by this. Stacy can believe that Phineas builds enormous contraptions in the back yard every day, but not a dream demon bent on world domination, and now she was being called crazy. It was bad enough her own mother called her that whenever she told her about Phineas' inventions, she didn't need it from Stacy, too. Just then, Linda knocked on Candace's door.

"The boys are going bowling with their friends, and I have groceries to buy. Candace, keep the house in one piece while I'm gone" instructed Linda.

"They're going where? What if Bill finds them?" quizzed Candace.

"The disc is gone, Bill has no more interest in Phineas anymore. It's over, now" assured Linda, but Candace wasn't convinced. Phineas was not the only one paranoid about Bill. Candace was convinced Bill had other plans for Phineas and Ferb, and her protective older sister instincts would ensure they were kept from harm. Ultimately, Candace thought it best she not interfere. After all, Phineas and the gang were protected from direct possession. Linda had left Candace's room, and her phone rang. Candace answered.

"Hello?" Candace greeted, and what happened next, no-one saw coming. Candace felt something crawl into the ear she had her phone pressed to, and she started to lose control of her body, bit by bit. Soon, Candace, or Candace's body, rose up from its stupor, and Candace herself was floating beside it. When she faced her body, it became clear who had taken possession.

"I thought you needed a handshake before taking control!" exclaimed Candace, not that anyone could hear her.

"You accepted the call, that's good enough for me" Bill-Candace responded.

"What do you want!" demanded Candace.

"Look, blondie. Your brother Phineas has weapons stored away that could prove a real nuisance when the big day comes. I'm here to make sure he never gets the chance to use them, by any means necessary" menaced Bill-Candace.

"You'll never find Phineas. He's far away from here!" retorted Candace.

"Didn't I hear your mum tell you he went bowling with his pals? Maybe I'll pay them a visit, play a few frames. It'll be fun" countered Bill-Candace, who then left to pursue Phineas.

At the Hirano house, Stacy was thinking over the phone conversation she had with Candace. Upon reflection, Stacy admitted to herself that she was too dismissive of Candace's story. Ginger did tell her that Phineas had come up with the designs for the portal in a strange dream he had the previous night, but she thought nothing of it, because Phineas regularly built amazing things in his backyard.

It was what happened after that got Stacy really concerned. A boy in a sweater-vest attacked Phineas for some sort of 'disc' that turned the machine on, and he had psychokinetic powers to boot. That, Stacy thought, may have lent some credibility to the idea of demonic possession. But Candace said his name was Bill, but when Stacy did some of her own research into the boy, she found that his name was actually Milo, and that he had a condition which meant he was a walking disaster area. Stacy came to the conclusion that the best person to ask for further clarification was Phineas. She made to call the Flynn-Fletcher house.

Nobody answered. Stacy made to call Candace's cell phone. Again, no answer. Now that was strange. Candace always answered her cell phone, no matter what she was doing. She figured that Ginger would know where Isabella was, and that Phineas would surely be where she was, after all, Isabella's crush was known to practically everyone except Phineas himself.

"Ginger, do you know where Isabella is today?" asked Stacy.

"She told me she was going bowling with Phineas and the others" answered Ginger. Having got her answer, Stacy left for the bowling lanes, determined to get to the bottom of this mystery.

At the bowling lanes, Phineas and the others picked their lane, the management having let them in for free as thanks for the upgrades, and decided on three ten-frame games.

"It has been too long since we all hung out like this. I have missed it" mused Baljeet.

"Even getting wedgies from Buford?" teased Isabella.

"Even those. It is good to see you are no longer obsessing over Bill, Phineas" Baljeet replied.

"Don't worry about him, if he tries anything else, he'll get a knuckle sandwich from me. I owe him payback for that whole levitation thing" assured Buford. The gang all laughed at this, and carried on with their games. Half way through, they decided to take a snack break, and ordered a few bowls of fries.

"So, Isabella, tell us about your swimming date with Phineas" inquired Baljeet, teasingly, no doubt getting payback for the wedgie remark. This got everyone else interested.

"Baljeet, it wasn't a date. It was just a way to get over my inventor's block" clarified Phineas.

"Yeah, sure it wasn't" Buford remarked sarcastically.

"C'mon Isabella, back me up here. It wasn't a date, right?" said Phineas. Isabella was lost for words.

"The definition of a date is a boy and a girl doing an activity together. So technically, your day swimming really was a date" implied Baljeet.

"Wow, can't argue with that logic" admitted Phineas, then he added; "So, I went on my first date, cool."

"Does that mean you and Isabella are a thing now?" quizzed Buford. Phineas thought about this.

"Guys, we're too young to be dating. Maybe when we're older, but not now. I like things where they are now" explained Phineas. Isabella, after some thought, agreed with this assessment. Eight years old was too young to be considering a romance, but in her case, she interpreted Phineas' explanation as hope for the future.

"You did not even kiss? Even I have done that" teased Baljeet, and they all laughed at this, and carried on with their games. After the bowling was done, the gang proceeded to the arcade section to test the VR systems with the free arcade coins the management also gave in thanks. It seems the boys built VR versions of the inventions they made last summer, to give newcomers a way of seeing what they missed. Buford enjoyed reliving the Trojan War re-enactment sim, Baljeet almost puked after Phineas' rollercoaster sim, and Isabella was absorbed in the romantic cruise, this time focusing on herself.

"Well, if Baljeet's reaction is anything to go by, the VR arcades work like a charm" mused Phineas. Ferb agreed silently. The gang was so into the arcade, that they failed to notice Bill-Candace walk through the front doors. Phineas went to the bathroom, and was already there when Bill-Candace approached them.

"Do you guys know where Phineas went?" asked Bill-Candace.

"Candace, didn't expect to see you here. Phineas is just in the bathroom. He'll be back later" answered Isabella. Stacy arrived moments later, and noticed Candace.

"Candace, there you are. Look, I wanted to….." Stacy began, but when Candace turned around, Stacy noticed her eyes weren't right. Quite the opposite, what were supposed to be pupils were instead vertical slits, like a snake. Stacy couldn't help but scream, which got everyone's attention.

"Who's not real now!" menaced Bill-Candace, who then made a beeline towards the bathrooms. Stacy and the gang chased after Bill-Candace, and managed to stop her before she got to Phineas.

"Get off me!" demanded Bill-Candace, struggling to break free from their grip.

"Will one of you please tell me what's going on!" asked Stacy. At this moment, Phineas exited the bathroom, took out a syringe he had in his pocket, and injected Bill-Candace with it. Slowly, Candace's body began to fall into a stupor, until Bill-Candace was fully unconscious. In the astral plain, Bill fell out of Candace's body, allowing the real Candace to take charge once again. Once the sedative wore off, Candace was back to her old self again, albeit a little groggy.

"Oh, my head" groaned Candace.

"Alright, I need a serious catch-up here" pressed Stacy, but at that point, the monitors displaying scores for the bowlers buzzed with static, and Bill popped up on the screens.

"You can't stop me, kid. Nothing in your arsenal will prevent my rise to power. It's only a matter of time" Bill warned, before returning the monitor view to normal. The group decided to hurry out of the establishment before awkward questions were asked, and once they were home, Phineas gave Stacy all the answers she wanted.

"I actually thought you were crazy when Candace told me about this guy. I'm so sorry I didn't believe any of you" Stacy said, with remorse.

"It's OK, Stacy. It is a pretty wild tale" forgave Phineas. Candace came around, and added to the bad news.

"Bill has found a way to crawl into people's heads through cell phones. Answer a call and he crawls inside" Candace explained. This got everyone really worried.

"It's not just phones, it's technology in general. He can display himself on any monitor he wants" Stacy added. Linda came back from grocery shopping, and asked what happened. When the group finished telling her the story, Linda was in full panic mode.

"We rely on technology for everything. If Bill has found a way to interact with it, this planet's in serious trouble. He won't even need the portal to cause massive chaos" replied Linda.

"I'm warning Excalibur, they need to know what happened here" suggested Phineas, and he made the call.

At Excalibur HQ, Albert was finished briefing Brick and Savannah about Bill, Milo, the portal, everything. He even showed them footage of Wierdmageddon, and explained how Excalibur covered it up.

"That still doesn't explain why Mr. Block called us and gave us our orders" said Brick.

"I don't know. I checked the call logs while you were telling your story, and found that no record of an incoming call from HQ at that time was received" explained Savannah.

"I don't understand it either, but what matters is that the disc is safe and Bill's not getting loose anytime soon" assured Albert. Everyone agreed, and then Albert's XO, Kilstone came into the office.

"Sorry to bother you, sir, but we have a problem. Latest from Phineas" said Kilstone, and he gave Albert his message. Albert read it, read it again, and asked for clarification. Kilstone confirmed it was genuine, and proceeded to update Brick and Savannah.

"It seems Bill has found a way to interact with technology to his advantage. Apparently, being inside Milo caused him to develop new powers on top of rebuilding his old ones" briefed Albert. Brick and Savannah were visibly shocked. This explained why no record was found, Bill almost tricked them into ending the world.

"Consider us signed on for the fight. No-one tricks us and gets away with it" stated Savannah. Brick agreed, and Albert thanked them for the support. He then put his finger on the PA button.

"All hands, this is the captain. Any device that connects to the Internet must be destroyed immediately. Bill has access to the world wide web and technology in general. As of this moment, Excalibur is going silent. That is all" announced Albert. Excalibur had plans for instances such as this, when a computer virus was too powerful to be contained, or a genius hacker learned of Excalibur's existence, but Albert always hired those, but he never imagined Bill could be able to use the planet's greatest asset as his personal weapon of choice.

"Kilstone, update the zodiac group of these developments, ensure neither of them are possessed, and take their devices away for containment" ordered Albert. Kilstone acknowledged the order, and left the office. In his mind, Albert knew the fight against Bill just got a lot harder.

Author's note: It has been a while since I wrote anything Phineas-focused. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about him. If you want to interpret this as a satire of how humanity has been so dependent on technology, by all means, but I see it as giving Bill new means to torment his victims. I honestly think that, if he wasn't a Disney villain, he'd be right at home in a Wes Craven film. The usual disclaimers; I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	16. Day zero

**Day zero**

Milo was getting up in the morning as usual, to find he had run out of potions to take. Considering the Mewman healer gave him enough to see him through his recovery, this only meant he was in the clear for post-demonic corruption. He felt it, too, but this also meant that Murphy's Law would be coming back in full force very soon. While he didn't mind this, his new relationship with Amanda gave him pause for thought; while Murphy's Law could be fun, he suddenly felt that it would be a drag if he had to 'Murphy's Law proof' all his dates.

He went downstairs to find Melissa, Zack and Shane waiting for him. Admittedly, since the happenings of the last few weeks and with Milo seeing Amanda, the four never had a chance to properly catch up, like the old days. Today, Milo thought, would be a chance to remedy that. Melissa, Zack and Shane, however, were in deep discussion.

"He can really do that now?" asked Zack, nervously.

"So Excalibur says. It's already happened once, and Albert gave the warning the second he read the report" Shane confirmed.

"What's going on?" inquired Milo.

"According to Excalibur, Bill's found a way to possess people using their cell phones, and hack into any technology he pleases" answered Melissa. Milo was shocked by this revelation. He had been meaning to call Amanda to ask how her vacation with her family was going, but if that put him at risk of being Bill's puppet once again, that was one dice he did not want to roll. Worse still, he could use Amanda to get to him this way, and he could not call to warn her.

"Don't worry about Amanda, Milo. Excalibur's already warned her, and have assigned agents to ensure her safety" assured Shane. Milo, while relieved, was a bit un-nerved at the fact his girlfriend was being watched by government agents. Still, at least she was safe.

"What do we do now?" quizzed Milo.

"Excalibur's gone silent, so we're on our own. But from what I can gather, Bill can only get into your mind if you accept an unknown call on your cell. So just check for caller ID before you answer and you should be fine" briefed Shane.

"But what if Bill can forge a caller ID?" asked Zack.

"Then we're fudged" answered Shane, bluntly.

"So, how are we supposed to communicate, tin cans on strings?" inquired Melissa.

"Hence, our current dilemma" answered Shane. The group thought hard on this, then Milo was the first to speak up.

"We shouldn't let Bill ruin our summer. We need to get our minds off him, otherwise, he wins" suggested Milo.

"He's right. We need a day without Bill, Excalibur, or other dimensions" agreed Melissa.

"We could go paintballing. It's low tech so Bill can't touch us, and it has medical staff on standby in case of emergency" suggested Zack.

"Sounds like fun, let's go" said Milo, enthusiastically. He had never been paintballing before. The potions may have run out, but the residual effects meant Murphy's Law would not come back in full for another 24 hours, so the risk of forest fire was minimal.

When they arrived at the paintball court, after re-assuring admissions staff that Melissa's dad was a fireman, and giving them his cell phone number in case of woodland blaze, they were matched against a team from another middle school a few neighbourhoods away. After the 30 seconds the teams were given before they could start shooting at each other, Milo and the others hid in a shack to discuss strategy.

"We go from cover to cover as quick as possible. Any sign of movement, shoot first and ask questions later" suggested Shane.

"What if you shoot one of us?" countered Zack.

"Then we each go in pairs. Milo and Melissa go east to draw them out, Zack and I will circle around to ambush them" briefed Shane. The others agreed to this, and ventured out. Milo and Melissa had only split up from Zack and Shane for a few minutes before Melissa voiced a concern she had.

"Milo, do you think Amanda's intimidated by me?" inquired Melissa. This caught Milo off guard.

"What do you mean?" asked Milo, concerned about where the conversation was going.

"Well, Amanda's your girlfriend now, and I don't want her thinking I'm intruding or trying to steal you away" clarified Melissa.

"One, Amanda knows we're best friends and nothing more. Two, she's not the jealous type, and three, she and I both agree that boys and girls can be friends without romantic implications" explained Milo, trying to put Melissa at ease.

"Which reminds me, I may have to take down that secret room of Murphy's Law research I have at my house. I don't want Amanda thinking I'm some kind of creep" said Melissa.

"Yeah, that might put Amanda off, admittedly" agreed Milo, then he added; "To be honest, I always thought you and Zack would make a good coupling."

"Milo, if you start shipping us, I will shoot you right here" threatened Melissa, jokingly. The two then heard movement from a few feet away. Thinking that they had found the opposing team, Melissa fired a few shots before she and Milo ran to draw them to Zack and Shane's ambush point.

Elsewhere on the field, Zack and Shane were having their own conversation.

"So, was it hard?" asked Zack.

"Was what hard?" replied Shane.

"Getting over Milo" clarified Zack.

"Easier than I thought. I did figure I had no chance, seeing as I had him kidnapped and experimented on, plus, he really liked Amanda" answered Shane.

"That wasn't a good day for you, but barring all that, what did you like about him?" inquired Zack.

"His adaptability, his kindness, and he always has a smile on his face, even in the worst of crises, wish I had that" mused Shane. Zack chuckled.

"Funny, when I first met him, and we ended up in the sewers, I thought he was going to get me killed, and I should stay away. But now, I can't imagine life without him. He makes the everyday interesting" reminisced Zack. Shane agreed.

"Speaking of Milo, here he comes, with Melissa in tow" Shane pointed out, and he and Zack got into ambush positions. When Milo and Melissa gave the signal, Zack and Shane opened fire. Three out of the four man opposition were paintballed, and Milo and the others left to find the fourth person. Melissa decided to make things interesting.

"Whoever tags the last person gets the first slice of pizza" Melissa gambled, and the others agreed to this little wager. The search was on to find their last target, and to cover more ground, the group set off separately. After a while, the fourth person they were looking for approached Milo, and gave him a message.

"There's some boy in a red hoodie looking for you. Paid me $650 not to paintball you on sight. He's in that clearing over there" he said, and pointed in the boy's direction. Milo thanked his opponent, and he walked off, only to get paintballed by Zack.

"Nice, that slice of pizza's mine" celebrated Zack. Milo made off to meet who he figured to be Marco, as he didn't know anyone else who dressed in a red hoodie during the summer.

"Milo, where are you off to?" quizzed Zack.

"Marco wants to see me for something, don't know what, but it may be important" Milo called back. Zack, Melissa and Shane heard this, and decided to accompany him. Sure enough, they found the clearing, and Marco standing in it. He was wearing sunglasses, obviously so he could see in the bright sunlight, but the hoodie was an odd choice of clothing, given the current temperature.

"Aren't you baking in that hoodie?" asked Shane, concerned.

"Compared to California, this is nothing" replied Marco.

"I'm here, what did you want?" inquired Milo.

"I wanted to see if you were up for a Murphy's Law treatment programme. You mentioned your curse the last time we spoke, and I thought that it would be something you'd like" explained Marco. Milo thought about this. A life without the curse. While he had accepted the curveballs that the Law had thrown at him all his life, he treasured quiet days as well, such as today, and his first date with Amanda.

"How would you do this?" quizzed Milo.

"Oh, it would be easy. A steady potion dosage scheme, a few darkness-blocking incantations and an amulet or two to ward away bad luck. You'd be good as gold" answered Marco.

"And the Butterfly family doesn't mind at all?" asked Milo.

"Anything for a friend of a friend" assured Marco.

"At least he's asking nicely" remarked Zack. Milo was intrigued at the prospect of a curse-free life. All sorts of thoughts came into his head. He started thinking of the future, where he and his friends were grown up, not fearing an imminent hospital stay whenever they hung out. He thought of Amanda, and the future she and Milo would have without his curse, a wedding that wasn't crashed by stampeding llamas, and, dare he think of it, his future children not having to deal with everything he did as a child. After a while, Milo came to a decision.

"I'll do it."

"Brilliant, let me just cut you a portal to Mewni and we can begin ASAP" said Marco, and he beckoned Milo to step forward. He did so, and took Marco's hand. When Marco cut a portal open, Milo saw that it did not lead to Mewni, but somewhere he didn't recognise, or want to, as it looked horrifying.

"That's not Mewni!" Milo exclaimed in fright. At this point, Marco clicked his fingers, and Milo fell unconscious in Marco's arms.

"What's going on!" demanded Zack.

"Hush, little Milo, don't say a word" Marco sang, and he removed his sunglasses to reveal that Bill had taken him over. Bill-Marco continued his sing-song.

"Uncle Bill's gonna bring you the end of the world" Bill-Marco concluded, and Bill's true form emerged from Marco's cell phone. This, the others surmised, was how he had taken Marco over. Bill, now truly emerged, and having opened a portal to his realm using Marco's scissors, proceeded to open portals to every capital city in the world, from Los Angeles to Canberra, and led his nightmare army through those portals.

"We need to get out of here" Shane said. Zack made to get Milo, but Bill pushed him back with his powers.

"Not so fast, I need your friend here to fuel my global conquest" Bill menaced, and he created a capsule to put Milo inside. Then, he created a floating pyramid, and spirited Milo and an unconscious Marco away towards its peak. Zack, Melissa and Shane could only look in horror at what were the beginnings of the end of the world.

At Excalibur HQ, alarms were ringing and people were running scared, as Albert looked at the camera feed in the Tri-State Area. He was also receiving a flood of communications from other countries' governments begging for answers, and he was at a loss as to what to tell them. According to literally everyone, Bill had deployed invasion forces around the globe simultaneously. Kilstone burst into his office.

"Not now, Kilstone" said Albert.

"Sorry, sir, but the president has declared martial law. The EU is following suit, and many countries are on the brink of surrender" briefed Kilstone. Albert slammed his fist on the desk in frustration. If only he could've established communication with Mewni, he could've warned the one person with a cell phone Bill could hack there. Albert decided that this was no time to assign blame, as he watched an emergency broadcast from the UN.

"This is an emergency message from the United Nations. The planet is under attack. The Secretary-General has declared a worldwide state of emergency. He has urged all citizens to stay in their homes, and for capital cities to begin evacuation procedures immediately. All flights are being cancelled or re-routed to emergency airfields, and cruise liners are being re-routed to military dockyards. Do not approach any capital city at all costs. God help us all" the reporter announced.

"What do we do now?" asked Kilstone, but Albert had no answer. Between the emergency broadcasts, the screams for help over the comms and his own people looking to him to lead them, Albert had only this;

"All hands, this is the captain. As of this moment, the Cipher War has begun. Be ready for enemy incursions" Albert announced over the PA, and everyone got to work. Kilstone saw to the defence of the zodiac members.

Back at the paintballing yard, Zack, Melissa and Shane returned to find Danville burning, and sounds of conflict and people screaming could be heard even from where they were. All they could do was retreat and make their way to Excalibur HQ.

"We're coming back" declared Shane, and the three ran, promising that they would get Milo back.

Author's note: This is the beginning of the climax. The whovians among you may draw similarities between this and the episode 'Sound of Drums'. I assure you, this is completely unintentional. Future chapters will be titled 'The Cipher War, part 1' and such, until the end. The usual disclaimers; I own nothing, Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	17. The Cipher War: Part 1: Swordfall

**Swordfall**

Various news reports were covering the Cipher War, as the press so eloquently put it, in varying amounts of distress, providing updates to Excalibur as the conflict raged.

"The conflict in our streets continues to intensify as the creatures spewing out from the holes in the sky reduce homes and businesses to rubble. Military equipment is spontaneously failing during the fight, a phenomenon known to some as Murphy's Law."

"Military forces are stretched thin, as the Nightmare Army pushes further and further into all major cities around the world. New York, London and Sydney are all over-run, Moscow is holding strong, but is not expected to last, and all contact has been lost with Seoul and Tokyo."

"Refugees fleeing the fighting are flooding relief centres, and aid workers are struggling to cope with the workload."

"An investigation into the origins of the attackers have revealed the existence of a secretive paranormal research group, but the President neither confirmed or denied the group exists."

"Unrest is growing in the crowded refugee camps, as the people demand answers about the group, rumoured to be called Excalibur."

"Riots erupted in towns and villages across the U.S., as several groups accused the President of keeping secrets that were vital to the planet's survival."

"The leader of the army, a being called Bill Cipher, descended on the White House and assassinated the commander-in-chief. Military officials predict total defeat within the week."

Then, finally, the report Albert really did not want to hear;

"This is the Secretary-General of the United Nations, calling the Nightmare Army. Planet Earth officially surrenders to the rule of Bill Cipher."

"Lock down the base, and prepare the zodiac. We're not through yet" Albert ordered. Kilstone, while acknowledging the order, was struggling to keep his usual composure.

"Sir, if I may, even if we succeed, we've been exposed. The public outcry will be massive" stated Kilstone.

"I am aware of that, Kilstone. But I do not intend to lose this planet to Bill, not without a fight. Besides, the zodiac isn't our only weapon" assured Albert. He then turned to Brick and Savannah, who were watching the reports with him in his office.

"You two, come with me. I have an urgent assignment for you" Albert briefed, and he led them to the vault. Once there, they approached the portal Phineas built, only it had been modified.

"Since you two signed on with us, we've upgraded Phineas' invention to enable us to travel through time. We need the two of you to travel to a point where Marco was on Earth, when he was talking to Dipper and Mabel Pines at his home. You need to warn him about Bill's cell phone tricks, and hopefully he won't answer the call that possessed him and all this will never have happened" explained Albert.

"In summary, warn the kid, save the world. No problem, we do this every day" answered Savannah.

"We've fed the temporal-spatial co-ordinates into the computer. All you need to do is step through. You better take these so you can get back" briefed Albert, and he handed them watches with return co-ordinates programmed in.

"Thanks, but we have our own means of time travel" rebuffed Brick. The time portal activated, and Brick and Savannah stepped through.

"Good luck, you two" wished Albert as they stepped through. He then noticed that nothing had changed. Knowing nothing about time travel, Albert did not know what to think. Suddenly, an alert came through from the comms.

"Sir, the Nightmare Army is at our door, and he's with them" said the security chief in a panicked voice. Then, Bill's voice rang through the PA system.

"Could you join me in your office, Albert?" requested Bill. Not knowing what else to do, Albert made his way to his office, where Bill was waiting, despite Kilstone's warnings. Once there, Albert came face-to-face with Bill.

"Long time, no see, captain. I like what you've done with the place" mocked Bill.

"You're too late, Cipher. Brick and Savannah are already warning Marco about your little 'technotrickery' as we speak. Soon, all this will be re-written" retorted Albert.

"Yeah, about that. This is a nice office, but it could use a new carpet" countered Bill, and he showed Albert the carpets he brought with him. The shocked expressions of Brick and Savannah laced the stitching. It was obvious that they had failed.

"How?!" demanded Albert in disbelief.

"Funny thing, time travel. Without that baby, I can do pretty much anything I want with time, but why mess with something so sensitive. A lesson you repeatedly failed to learn" taunted Bill.

"No, I'm nothing like you!" retorted Albert.

"Oh, really? See, I would disagree, seeing as you did play a big hand in my comeback. You thought you could deprive me of Murphy's Law, that rejuvenated my powers. You brought in Star's magic to help fix that mistake, that got me my body back, shall I go on?" Bill mocked further. Albert had no response. Deep down, he knew Bill was right. He thought he could protect homeworld security by removing what he perceived to be threats, but all he did was expedite Bill's return. He had failed.

"Awwwwww, don't look so glum. I should be thanking you. After all, you made all this possible, but how to repay you? I know, you can watch while I reduce my old prison to ashes, and make this my central HQ. It'll be your crowning achievement, Your Highness" remarked Bill, with emphasis on his last words.

"That life's behind me, and I'd rather die than serve at your heel again!" retorted Albert. Bill laughed at this.

"Wrong again, boy prince! You ran an institute that monitors everyone without them even knowing, and were willing to have teenagers kidnapped in order to advance your goals. How is that not tyranny?" inquired Bill. Again, Albert had no response.

"Speaking of your old life, where is that book I gave you?" interrogated Bill.

"Far away, where you'll never find it!" answered Albert.

"Look around you, I control everything, Prince Jack" retorted Bill. Albert winced at his former name. "Don't tell me you weren't curious." After a pause, Bill concluded negotiations. "No? Then you and I are going to have a long conversation" Bill menaced, and he proceeded to lay waste to Excalibur HQ. Kilstone had just escaped to see to the zodiac group, but no-one else made it out. Soon, Excalibur HQ was rubble, and the Grand Fearamid, as Bill put it, was being constructed before Albert's eyes. Albert saw that Bill had a capsule and a chained-up Marco moved to its peak, Marco looking broken. Albert didn't want to imagine what Bill did to him.

There was just enough time to send a one-worded message to all field agents still active. The word was Swordfall, the code used to signify the end of Excalibur.

One week later

Zack, Melissa and Shane were hiding in the sewer system of Danville. Shane had gotten the Swordfall code from Albert. This told him Excalibur HQ was no longer safe. He, Zack and Melissa had had no contact with their friends or families for a week now, and morale was running low. Zack had salvaged an old-style army radio from an abandoned hardware store, with the silent promise to return it once the crisis was over, but as the days went on, all hope of salvation was slowly slipping away.

"Anything on resistance channels?" asked Melissa, hoping for good news. Since the planet's surrender, various resistance cells had formed underground. Using leftover weapons and equipment from the initial conflict, they had made targeted strikes against the nightmare soldiers. Zack, Melissa and Shane stayed away from this, as their intentions, while noble, tended to get them killed. Other underground groups focused solely on survival in the new world, and the more militant cells tended to prey on these survivors for food and weapons.

"Nothing. Did Bill get to them?" answered Zack.

"It wouldn't surprise me. Bill always said he could see everything" added Shane.

"We should be coming up on the rendez-vous co-ordinates any time now" said Melissa. The previous day, Zack, Melissa and Shane were approached by a tall hooded figure, offering vital information to their quest of getting Milo free from Bill's clutches. The figure said they and their companions were hiding underground like everyone else, only in a spot no-one really knew about, and gave Melissa directions through the sewer system to meet up with them. Once they arrived, the hooded figure stood before them, and after an eye check, removed his cloak.

"Cavendish?" asked Zack, with relief.

"You know this guy?" inquired Shane.

"Yes, he and his partner, Dakota often bump into us on their time-travel shenanigans" Melissa explained. As if by coincidence, Dakota appeared from the shadows.

"So, what have you two been up to?" quizzed Melissa.

"We've been trying to find a way to get to Milo, but Bill's seized control of the time stream and shut down all time travel, that's why we can't contact HQ" answered Cavendish.

"That's when Rambo over here came up with the oh-so-brilliant plan of storming the Grand Fearamid to get him out" responded Dakota, sarcastically.

"Are you crazy?! That's point Zero, where Bill himself is stationed. If Milo's been moved there we might as well give up now!" remarked Shane. Melissa was having none of this.

"Listen, you. Giving up is not in my vocabulary, especially when it comes to Milo. You wanna run and hide, go ahead, but I am going to get to the Grand Fearamid and rescue Milo with or without your help" retorted Melissa. Suddenly, they were surrounded by armed individuals, not nightmare soldiers, but resistance fighters.

"Now what?" snapped Zack.

"We have visual on the objectives, as well as two other unknown contacts. Request orders" said the team leader into a walkie-talkie. After a while, the team leader acknowledged whatever orders he got, and proceeded to carry them out.

"The five of you will accompany us. Run, and we will shoot" finished the team leader. Not liking their chances at an escape attempt, Melissa and the others followed the fighters. After walking what seemed like and endless maze of tunnels, they reached a makeshift resistance HQ. Unlike most, this one was well kitted out, almost as if the people who made it were prepared for Bill's invasion. Zack, Melissa, Shane, Cavendish and Dakota were brought to the resistance leader.

"Amanda!" blurted Melissa. Amanda quickly shushed her.

"You want Bill to find us? Keep your voice down!" Amanda called in a hushed tone. She then continued her explanation. "After the first wave, I got separated from the refugee camp I was based in. My first instinct was to hide here. Dating Milo had the perks of a guided tour of the sewer system. Not exactly romantic, but he called it 'required learning'. Anyway, I was wondering for a good few hours, when I was found by the builders of this place, then together we rounded up the townsfolk who weren't petrified, and organised a survivor's group."

"So, you didn't build this place. Who did?" asked Shane, and Amanda pointed to two young boys, grade schoolers by the looks of them, operating the controls to what looked like advanced surveillance equipment. Standing beside them was what looked to be their older sister.

"May I introduce Phineas and Ferb, the base's builders, and Candace, their older sister" said Amanda, and as she listed their names, Phineas, Ferb and Candace said hello.

"I thought Milo would be with you. Do you know where he is? We haven't found him yet" inquired Amanda. Zack, Melissa and Shane could not bear to look at her in the eye. Finally, Zack broke the mold.

"I'm sorry, but Bill got to him. He encapsulated him and whisked him off to the Grand Fearamid. Bill's channelling his curse into a weapon, it's how he was able to overpower the military so quickly" explained Zack. Amanda was in shock. She had hoped Milo's survival instincts would see him through. To know that her beloved was not only a prisoner, but a tool being used by Bill was too much to bear. Amanda could not utter two words before rushing into a back room, crying her eyes out. Melissa made to go in after her, but Zack stopped her.

"I think she needs to be alone right now" reasoned Zack. Melissa, Zack and Shane walked over to the monitors Phineas and Ferb were watching, hoping to get an update from the boys.

"If you're hoping to find friends and family, you will, but you won't like what you'll see" warned Phineas.

"Show us anyway, we need to know" ordered Zack, and Phineas punched up the monitor. It appears Bill had been crafting statues of himself around the world, using petrified civilians as building blocks.

"He did this last time. It's all happening again" whimpered Shane. Melissa could not bear to watch, and buried her head in Zack's chest, who held her tightly.

"Bill's lucky he doesn't have a neck, because I feel like strangling him right now!" Zack growled through gritted teeth.

"They're the lucky ones. Have you seen what's going on in California?" asked Phineas, and he put up the California view on the monitor. There, Bill has enslaved the populace. Day in, day out, slaves were working on a device that looked like a mirror image of Phineas' portal. The people were treated very badly, whippings for incompetence were commonplace, and the living conditions made coal mines look like five-star hotels.

"What does he need that for? He has Marco's dimensional scissors, as well as Marco himself" observed Zack.

"He may be planning an attack on Mewni. If the Butterfly family has the place on some sort of interdimensional lockdown, then scissors probably won't work, so he'll need something strong to break the barrier down" Shane theorised.

"That is an outlandish theory, but I honestly cannot come up with a counter-argument" piped Baljeet.

"They need to be warned. Mewni must have better defences than we do" surmised Melissa.

"We can transmit globally without being detected, but if we go interdimensional, Bill is sure to find us" briefed Baljeet.

"What if we transmitted from one of Bill's pyramids? They communicate between this dimension and the Nightmare Realm all the time, it wouldn't be hard to disguise an S.O.S. in all their comm traffic" suggested Phineas. Bill had erected pyramids in every major population centre, as a grim reminder of who's in charge now.

"That is feasible, but the chances of infiltrating a pyramid without being seen are extremely low" countered Baljeet.

"Nevertheless, what other options do we have?" mused Melissa. Soon, Amanda came out from the back to join in the discussion.

"If we transmit to Mewni, Star may be able to help us rescue Milo" implied Amanda.

"Plus, she also has a personal stake. Bill took her boyfriend, Marco, as well" added Shane.

"Very well, it is a plan. But we will need a diversion to draw away most of the nightmare soldiers" summarised Amanda.

"We may be in luck, a resistance cell is looking to make a surgical strike near a pyramid" said Phineas, looking at the monitors to show a group of resistance fighters making their way to a nearby pyramid.

"Then we move. This opportunity will not come again. Cavendish, Dakota, we will need any transmission equipment you still have. Zack, Melissa, Shane, you will go topside and send the message. Elliot, take a team and go with them, in case things go south, and they will" ordered Amanda. It seems Elliot had been put in charge of the militia assembled in Amanda's group.

"You lot, follow me. We can lead you to a sewer exit right next to the pyramid base" said Elliot. The group moved out, and soon enough, they were at the sewer exit Elliot mentioned. They peeked to see if any nightmare soldiers were still hanging around. Lucky for them, they were all dealing with the resistance cell's strike. The group emerged, and entered the pyramid without trouble.

"We'll get optimum signal strength from the peak, but I surmise getting there will be very difficult" briefed Cavendish.

"Still gotta try, though" reasoned Elliot, and the team journeyed towards the pyramid's tip. Amazingly enough, they got to the tip with no resistance at all. Elliot was not taking chances.

"OK, we're here. If Bill is using Murphy's Law as a weapon, we can expect trouble as soon as we transmit. Defensive positions!" Elliot ordered, and his militia team took a defensive stance around the area where Cavendish and Dakota were setting up their transmitter.

"I've patched us into Bill's interdimensional comm frequency, now to find Mewni" said Cavendish, and after some fiddling, found a frequency codenamed 'Butterfly'. This, Shane observed, must be Mewni's direct line to the royal family of that world.

"You're on, transmitting now" briefed Cavendish, and Melissa spoke into the microphone.

"Calling Mewni, is anyone receiving. Mewni please respond" Melissa called, down the comms.

In the Butterfly castle, Star was pacing in her room. Recently, Marco left for Earth without telling anyone where he was going. No explanation, no goodbyes, he just left. On urgent business, he said. It had been some time, and Star was getting worried, as he hadn't called once since he left. Moon then came bursting into Star's room.

"Mum, haven't you ever heard of knocking?" retorted Star.

"No time, Star, we're getting a transmission from Earth" rebuffed Moon, and she and Star rushed to the comm room. The Magic High Commission was already there, puzzled as to how Earth is communicating with Mewni at all, as by all accounts, that should be impossible. Moon answered the call.

"This is Queen Moon of Mewni. To whom am I speaking?" Moon answered, trying to maintain composure as she hid her confusion.

"Melissa of Earth. The planet has been taken over by Bill, and he's preparing to attack Mewni as we speak. We snuck into one of his strongholds to send this warning, and to ask for help" Melissa explained.

"Does she mean Bill Cipher? The fairy tale?" asked Hekapoo, disbelievingly.

"Trust me, he's no fairy tale" countered Moon. Star took this opportunity to seize the equipment.

"Is Marco with you?" inquired Star.

"Bill got to him. He took Marco over and used his scissors to spread his army around the world. Now Bill's holding Marco at his HQ" answered Melissa. Star dropped her wand in shock, and was at a loss for words. Omnitrax was homing in on the source of the transmission, and found what he was looking for. Hekapoo cut open a portal with her own scissors, and surveyed the sight.

"Moon was right, he isn't just a fairy tale" remarked Hekapoo, upon stepping through the portal she made. Omnitrax and Rhombulus followed her. Star made to step through, but Moon stopped her.

"If Bill is planning to attack Mewni, you're safest here" reasoned Moon, but Star was not listening.

"You can't expect me to stay here while Bill does who-knows-what to Marco!" argued Star.

"Going up against Bill is suicide! Unlike Toffee, Bill really is immortal. Even with the High Commission, we still can't stop him. We're better off holding out here" Moon rebutted. But Star, known for doing first and considering the consequences later, picked up her wand, and stepped through anyway.

"I am not gonna sit in that castle and do nothing. Earth is my second home, and I'm gonna defend it!" concluded Star, and she moved to join Melissa and the others. There wasn't time to counter-argue, as one of Elliot's team reported enemy contacts.

"We need to retreat, we did what we came to do, let's move" Elliot ordered, and the team, escorted by the High Commission, broke out of the pyramid. It wasn't long before Bill himself joined the party.

"Well, well, well. So much for my surprise attack" Bill taunted.

"Like Mewni would ever fall to a children's story" countered Rhombulus, who made to crystallise Bill, but he broke free almost instantly.

"Is that all you got? I'm insulted. I thought the mighty High Commission would put up more of a fight than that!" Bill further taunted, which earned him a rainbow fist punch from Star's wand, right in the eye.

"OW! My eye! Why does everyone go for the eye?!" Bill recoiled, buying the team time to duck into the sewer system and make their way to their base without being followed.

Once there, after introducing the High Commission, Amanda congratulated them on the success of their mission, and decided now was the time to move the base closer to the Grand Fearamid.

"With Star on board, I believe we have a good chance of rescuing Marco and Milo. Hopefully, we can also find a way to end Bill's reign while we're there" debriefed Amanda.

"Last time, there was a zodiac weapon in place to vanquish Bill. Excalibur was getting the people together to reform it once Bill emerged. With any luck, we may find them at the safehouse" Shane added.

"Then it is a plan. Rescue Marco and Milo, reform the zodiac, vanquish Bill once and for all. Let's move!" ordered Amanda, and the base crew moved out.

"Regrettably, we can't join you. We have to shut down the super-portal Bill's making to protect Mewni" said Hekapoo.

"We understand. Go quickly, they are almost finished" replied Baljeet, and Hekapoo led Omnitrax and Rhombulus through a portal she cut.

At the Grand Fearamid, Bill was talking to his 'new plaything'.

"Your little girlfriend's a giant pain in the eye, literally!" Bill yelled.

"That's my Star" chuckled Marco, weakly. For the last week, Bill had been trying to regain access to Marco's body so he could infiltrate the Butterfly castle and lower its defences, but Marco held firm, despite Bill's 'persuasion techniques'. Bill shocked Marco again, and Marco screamed in agony, but still refused.

"This is a waste of time. I'll never agree" panted Marco.

"You know what, you're right. Torturing you is a waste of time, but it's still fun though. But Star is probably on her way here to rescue you. I should show her a good time, maybe she'll help me get what I want" Bill menaced, and Marco was truly scared now. The thought of Bill torturing Star was more unbearable than anything he had endured this past week.

Author's note: I apologise for the long wait. Bleak, hopeless hell-scapes are not my speciality, but I wanted to write Bill in his natural environment. I also apologise if I've butchered the spelling of the High Commission's names. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	18. The Cipher War: Part 2: Infiltration

**Infiltration**

The resistance group went over their plan to infiltrate the Grand Fearamid one more time: Phineas and Ferb, in their Beak superhero suit, would fly around blasting the nightmare soldiers to create a diversion, along with Isabella, Buford and Baljeet, in their various inventions, Amanda, Zack and Melissa would find Marco and Milo, while Shane and Star would lead Elliot and his militia to find the zodiac group, and Cavendish and Dakota would keep watch from outside for Bill and any returning nightmare forces. Whilst the plan was sound, putting it into action was another thing entirely.

"According to my calculations, I estimate we will get at least five minutes before Bill finds us, and the odds of our survival in that eventuality are very low" Baljeet postulated.

"Never tell me the odds, brain boy!" Buford countered.

"Quiet, we're almost there" hushed Amanda. They had been travelling to the Grand Fearamid in an abandoned caravan, its owners nowhere to be found. Elliot stopped the vehicle at least 2 miles away from the structure, and the distraction team left to commence their part of the operation. After a couple of minutes, the rest of the group heard explosions, signalling that they should make to enter the Grand Fearamid.

"So, this used to be a super-secret government institute? What are the chances anyone made it out alive before Bill got here?" inquired Elliot.

"Very low. Albert only sends the Swordfall code if he truly believes all is lost" clarified Shane.

"What is all this racket?" said a voice behind them. Elliot and his team immediately turned to the person, weapons raised. The man held his hands up, and introduced himself.

"I'm Lieutenant Kilstone, Excalibur Institute, or I should say I was. Not much of an institute now, is it" Kilstone explained.

"I know you, you're Albert's XO. Where is he, anyway?" Melissa quizzed.

"I don't know, we lost contact after Bill's army stormed the place and turned it into what you see now, you're not trying to get in, are you?" Kilstone asked.

"No choice, we have friends in there that need rescuing" Zack rebuffed.

"Listen to me, anyone inside that pyramid is long gone. You're better off taking your trigger-happy friends back there and going back the way you came" Kilstone warned.

"Why are you here, then?" countered Elliot. Kilstone paused for a second.

"Alright, you got me. I was going in to see if I can rescue the zodiac group. Albert's last order to me was to keep them safe, and that's what I intend to do" Kilstone confessed.

"I thought Excalibur had a safehouse for them" Shane wondered.

"Bill used some scissors to cut right through the defences we laid out for them. All of them were petrified, and Bill keeps them in a collection on a mantlepiece at the pyramid's tip, along with Marco and Milo" Kilstone briefed.

"How do you know this?" quizzed Elliot.

"I overheard Bill bragging about it to his hench-maniacs, gloating about how nothing will stop him this time" Kilstone said. The group paused to reconsider their strategy. Getting into the Grand Fearamid was hard enough, reaching the tip would be more difficult, and doing all of that without Bill catching them was borderline impossible. Nevertheless, they had to try, and the group, plus Kilstone, entered the Grand Fearamid.

Elsewhere, in Echo Creek, the Magic High Commission started laying the smackdown on the nightmare soldiers. Queen Moon had joined them as well, reasoning that if she couldn't talk Star out of attacking Bill's stronghold, she could help distract him long enough for her and her friends to carry out their mission. Also, she felt she owed a debt to Mr. and Mrs. Diaz for taking Star in while she was on Earth. Once all the nightmare soldiers were dispatched, Rhombulus destroyed the machine they were building, and Moon freed the slaves, telling them to hide underground.

"Well, now that's out of the way, we should join Star and the others" suggested Hekapoo.

"No, Bill's going to be on his way here in response. We need to keep him occupied as long as we can so that they succeed" rebuffed Moon, and sure enough, Bill emerged via scissor portal to see what had halted his project.

"What do we have here? The High Commission, and Your Highness. Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would've laid out the red carpet and organised a better welcoming committee" Bill mocked.

"Enough of this, Bill. As master of space-time, I cannot allow this to continue" Omnitrax retorted.

"Those scissors you stole belong to a dear friend of mine, who rightfully earned them. Hand them over now, or fear my fiery rage!" demanded Hekapoo.

"Just you try it!" Bill replied, and battle commenced. Between Moon and the High Commission, their odds of beating Bill were low, but winning was not their objective. Omnitrax grew to a size that would match Bill hand-to-hand, hopefully depriving him of an opportunity to use his powers. Once Omnitrax had him pinned to the ground, Hekapoo stabbed him in the eye with her scissors.

"OW! Seriously, every time! My eye is not a target!" yelled Bill. Using this moment of weakness, Rhombulus crystallised Bill, if only temporarily.

"Once he gets out, he is not gonna be happy" mused Rhombulus.

"Agreed. You should go, Moon. Join Star and the others, we can hold him here" confirmed Hekapoo, and handed Moon her scissors. Moon cut a portal to Star's position, and stepped through.

"Be strong, you three" wished Moon, and the portal disappeared.

Inside the Grand Fearamid, the two groups assigned to find prisoners reached the tip, both without encountering any nightmare soldiers, as planned, or getting caught by Bill himself. This was a stroke of luck they could only wish for. A portal opened in front of them, but instead of Bill, Queen Moon stepped through.

"Mum, what are you doing here?" asked Star, perplexed.

"Never mind that, we don't have time. The High Commission is holding Bill at Echo Creek, but they won't last long, so whatever it is you're doing here, make it quick" Moon explained.

"We found the zodiac group" called Shane, and the group rushed to his location. As Kilstone described, all were petrified.

"I can de-petrify them, but we still need someone to etch out a zodiac" Moon said.

"Leave that to me. I brought spray paint to draw the circle once we free them" answered Kilstone, and he immediately began painting on Bill's nice, penthouse floor, something Kilstone took great satisfaction in doing.

"Kilsone, is that you?" asked a voice behind them. The group turned around to find Albert walking weakly toward them. Kilstone moved to assist, but Albert waved him away.

"As you were, Kilstone, we need that circle, on the double" Albert ordered, and Kilstone resumed painting. Albert made to sit on one of Bill's chairs. Moon and Star had to do a double take on the figure sitting amongst them.

"You're that prince from the story, the one who used his dark powers to subjugate his people and conquer the land" Moon recognised. Albert knew, at this point, that there was no point hiding it anymore.

"Yes, this is not my first encounter with Bill. He was the one who gave me the Book of Avalon, and enslaved me for all eternity in his Nightmare Realm after I was overthrown. But when Wierdmageddon came, I saw my chance to escape and took it. Ever since, I have sought a means to protect this planet from Bill and threats like him, as penance for my crimes" Albert told the group.

"By having Melissa, Milo and I kidnapped?" Zack retorted.

"The plan had holes, and I only did that after Cavendish and Dakota escaped, forcing my hand" Albert rebuffed.

"So, the Book of Avalon is real" mused Star.

"Yes, and it is hidden well, on this planet. Once this is over, I will have its corrupting pages destroyed. But I would be more concerned about Marco. Being a guest of Bill's has its toll" clarified Albert, and he showed Star to Marco's 'guest room'. Star was horrified at what she saw. Marco was barely conscious, and looked malnourished and in serious pain.

"Bill wanted to get inside Butterfly Castle, so he tried to 'persuade' Marco to let him be his vessel again. He refused, and paid dearly for it" Albert explained. Star rushed to Marco's aid, and carried him towards the others.

"S-Star, is that you?" Marco asked, weakly.

"Don't worry, Marco, we'll get you out of here" assured Star.

"You shouldn't…Bill will….." was all Marco could manage before passing out.

"No, no, no, Marco. Don't do this to me, Marco. Marco, wake up!" Star said, frantically, but it was no use.

"I'll open a portal to a healer, get him somewhere safe" ordered Moon, and she cut a portal to a Mewman healer's hut. Star carried Marco through, and on the other side, healers were rushing to deliver vital aid to the boy. Not wanting to be in their way, but also not wanting to leave Marco, Star volunteered to stay behind, leaving the magical stuff to her mother. The others understood, and wished Marco a speedy recovery, Moon especially, as this meant Star was somewhere Bill couldn't touch her.

"What about Milo? Do you know where he is?" inquired Amanda.

"He'll be a lot harder to reach. Bill didn't torture Milo as he did Marco, but his circumstances are no less dire" Albert answered. Moon was finished de-petrifying the zodiac group, and all of them had a look of confusion about them.

"I like to collect action figures, not become one" Soos remarked.

"I thought I left the rich lifestyle behind" commented Pacifica, upon seeing her surroundings.

"I've had worse nights" mused Stanley. There wasn't much time to explain the situation to them, as Zack and Melissa had found Milo's capsule, with Milo sleeping inside. Moon examined it closely.

"Bill's got Milo in a dream state. The only chance of him waking up is if he makes it out of the dream world on his own. All he has to do is realise it's all a dream, imagine a door and walk through it" explained Moon.

"Lucid dreaming, but why hasn't he done so already?" asked Melissa.

"I don't know, but we'll have to go into Milo's dream world and find out" reasoned Moon.

"We'll go. We have a better chance of reaching him" suggested Zack, volunteering himself and Melissa for this job.

"You'll have to be asleep for this to work" warned Moon. Zack and Melissa assure her that they are up for the task, and she put them into a similar dream state, putting their sleeping bodies on furniture near the capsule. Stanley was watching in admiration.

"This lady sure knows her stuff" Stanley commented.

"Watch your tone, old man! You are addressing royalty" snapped Elliot.

"Royalty huh?" asked Stanley, and he wandered up to Moon, and asked: "Say, after all this is over, maybe you'll show me around your palace, Your Highness?" Wendy had to step in at this point.

"Let's go, old timer, before she throws you in the dungeon" Wendy retorted, while pulling Stanley away by the ear. Moon ignored this, as she was already happily married.

Back at Echo Creek, the High Commission were struggling to keep Bill occupied much longer. Bill had conjured up some eye protection, having learned his lesson on covering up weaknesses, and he was tired of Hekapoo aiming there all the time. In the midst of the fighting, Bill sensed something strange. There had been an intrusion into Milo's dream world. He paid this no mind, as he took extra steps to ensure Milo would not want to leave that world. Still, if there were intruders in the Grand Fearamid, he would be remiss if he didn't do something about it.

"As entertaining as this is, I have other matters to attend to, so sayonara!" Bill said, and he knocked the High Commission back with a final conal force pushback, and cut a portal to the Grand Fearamid. The High Commission tried to stop him, but were too weak from the fight.

"We've done all we can, now it's their turn" lamented Hekapoo, and she and her companions waited, for what came next.

Author's note: Only one or two more chapters left until the end. I really don't know how the High Commission would fair up in a confrontation against Bill, so I hope I'm not under or overstating either side's powers in this instance. As for Stanley's 'Brock' moment at the end, well I couldn't end this story without at least one Pokemon reference. Well, I could, I just thought it would be funny, a little humour to counter the doom and gloom. The usual disclaimers: I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	19. The Cipher War: Part 3: Awakening

**Awakening**

Milo woke up to find an unusual sight. He was lying in what appeared to be a king -sized bed, in what appeared to be a master bedroom. It was after he got up, that he realised he had no idea where he was, or who he was, or who the person that was lying next to him was.

"Where am I?" Milo asked. The woman that was in the bed next to him got up.

"Milo, you're awake?" said the woman.

"Milo, is that who I am?" inquired Milo.

"Yes, Milo Murphy, and I am your wife, Amanda Murphy" introduced the woman now known to Milo as his wife. Milo was taken aback. Apparently, he was a married man. Amanda noted his discomfort.

"Please, calm down. The kids and I will help you understand" assured Amanda. Now Milo was doing a double take in his head.

"We have kids?!" Milo blurted in shock. On cue, Amanda called two children, who Milo assumed were their own, into the master bedroom.

"May I introduce Daniel and Kathy Murphy, your son and daughter" stated Amanda, and in turn, the kids said hi to their father. Amanda held his hand, and it was all coming back to Milo, his and Amanda's wedding, when each of their kids were born, and a lot of other memories he cherished.

"I remember now, but why couldn't I before?" inquired Milo.

"With the chaos of Murphy's Law, you took one too many bumps to the head over the years, and suffer bouts of memory loss. The doctor has been treating you for it over the course of a few months, and he believes you are making significant progress" explained Amanda. Now it made sense to Milo. His curse, Milo thought, would have had some long-term effects eventually, he just wished he could remember them.

"About Murphy's Law, how do you two cope with it?" Milo asked his children.

"You found the root cause of your curse and wiped it out after you finished college. After that, it was only a matter of dealing with whatever it left behind" clarified Amanda. Milo was relieved his son, Daniel, did not have to go through what he did when Milo was his age. Accepting his new surroundings, Milo was finally at ease.

"Come, give daddy a hug" Milo called, and his two kids crawled onto the bed, and gave Milo a warm embrace at either side of him. After a while, Amanda announced that it was time for breakfast, and the kids went downstairs to the dining room. Milo made to join them, and they all sat down to eat. Amanda was making pancakes, giving Milo a chance to get to know his kids, albeit for a second time.

"So, how old are you guys?" Milo asked.

"I only reached double digits last week, and Kathy's been 7 since January" answered Daniel.

"7 and a half since summer started" added Kathy. Milo chuckled.

"No-one's keeping score. It's not how many years you live, but how you spend them that counts" mused Milo.

"Do you say that at your speeches, Dad?" quizzed Daniel. Milo was confused again. At that point, Amanda came in with plates of pancakes for everyone, with syrup on top.

"Oh, right. You're a lifestyle coach, now. You've given motivational seminars across town, and you've written very successful self-help books. Because of you, everyone can endure adversity with a smile" explained Amanda.

"What's Daddy's slogan again, Mummy?" Kathy asked.

"Luck is only good or bad when you say it is" clarified Amanda. The family all ate their pancakes, and Milo was learning more and more about his kids. Daniel was in Little League as a hobby, while his main passion was the science fair, proving that athletic scientists really did exist. Kathy was already proving herself to be a master artist. Her kindergarten teacher once commented that she was on a fast-track to California Institute for the Arts, while she very much enjoyed falling asleep on her father's lap after one or two episodes of Doctor Zone. According to Kathy, this was daddy-daughter bonding time.

"Children after my own heart" mused Milo, and they all laughed happily.

Zack and Melissa woke up in an alley off the beaten path. Thankfully, no-one saw them. Aware that this was a dream state created by Milo, they half-expected to find themselves near his present location, but as Moon explained, doing that would've caught Bill's attention. Then again, any intrusion into this world would've come under Bill's radar, so they had to be quick.

"Any ideas where we can find Milo?" inquired Zack.

"I would say 'follow the trail of wanton destruction', but since this is a dream, all bets are off" answered Melissa. They walked the street, and came across a bookstore, and on the front cover of one of the books on display, was Milo's face.

"Since when was Milo a published author?" asked Zack, in bemusement. The bookstore clerk took one look at them, and deduced that they were from out of town.

"Milo Murphy's written a load of those. Made him and his family rich and everything" clarified the bookstore clerk.

"Wait, family?! Milo has a wife and kids?" quizzed Melissa.

"Where have you two been?" countered the clerk. Zack and Melissa left the bookstore without saying another word. Getting Milo out was hard enough, convincing him that his domestic bliss was nothing more than an illusion would be impossible.

"Well, now what? We can't go up to Milo and say all this is a dream now, it'll break him" said Zack.

"Maybe, but it'll be better for it. We made a promise to get him out, plus, we need to unplug him in order to defeat Bill" rebuffed Melissa. Zack silently agreed. The two had wandered to the local park, where a Little League game is underway. As if by chance, Melissa spotted an adult-looking Milo and Amanda sitting in the stands, with a girl next to them. Zack and Melissa assumed that this was Milo's dreamed up daughter.

"Even if it is all a dream, you have to admit, Milo's kids are pretty cute" complimented Melissa.

"Yeah, they are, but I can't help but wonder, where are we?" asked Zack. The two approached Milo, Amanda and their daughter and said hello.

"Hi, don't remember seeing you two around here before. Your little siblings playing in this game?" wondered Milo. Zack and Melissa were shocked by this.

"What, Milo, it's us, Zack and Melissa. Your old friends, we go to school together, get up to all kinds of crazy antics" clarified Melissa.

"I'm sorry, my memory's not what it used to be" explained Milo. Zack and Melissa put two and two together, and deduced that Bill must've wiped Milo's memory, and put him in a dream state where he was rich, successful, and married to his crush with children to boot. No wonder Milo didn't wake up for a week.

"You two look like you haven't eaten in a while. Let me get you some snacks" offered Milo, and he got the two newcomers some hot dogs with ketchup from the nearby snack stand. While grateful for food that was cooked and not scavenged, Zack and Melissa focused on the mission, and got straight to the point.

"Look, Milo. I'm not sure how to break this to you, so I'll get to the point. None of this is real, it's all a dream, and we need you to wake up, now" stated Melissa. The little girl that was with Milo and Amanda got nervous.

"Daddy, what's going on?" asked Kathy, clutching Milo tightly.

"I have no idea who you two are or what your deal is, but you're disturbing my daughter, so I'd like you to leave, now" asserted Milo.

"Do not make me call Officer Bill" warned Amanda. Zack and Melissa had a look of horror on them.

"Officer Bill?!" Zack and Melissa both shouted.

"If that's him over there, someone already has" said Milo. Zack and Melissa turned behind them, and saw three police officers approach them.

"Listen to me, Milo. Bill's the bad guy. He's the one who put you here, to power his global domination. You have to believe us" rushed Melissa, and she placed her hands on Milo's shoulders. As she did so, images of three teenagers hanging out and running from danger flooded into Milo's head. Then, images of a one-eyed triangle laughing maniacally followed them. Milo barely had time to process these images, when the officers had Zack and Melissa on the floor, handcuffed.

"Milo, we're your best friends. We've never lied to you, and we never will. Please, you have to trust us!" pleaded Zack, as Officer Bill and his backup lead them away to the cop car parked out front. Officer Bill approached Milo, and offered support.

"Are you alright, sir? Any problems, did they hurt you?" inquired Officer Bill.

"No, officer, we're fine" assured Milo, and he further assured Kathy that the nice policeman made the bad guys go away. Kathy calmed down, thanked Officer Bill, and focused on the game to take her mind off what just happened. After the game, Milo and his family returned home. Kathy had been put to bed, and Daniel had expressed concern over what happened in the stands.

"It's nothing, sport. Just some crazy kids who saw one too many movies. No big deal" said Milo.

"You sure, Dad? Kathy looked unsettled" replied Daniel. Milo re-assured his son that Kathy was stronger than she looked and that the aforementioned kids will get their dues. When Daniel went to sleep, Milo was having trouble believing his own story. Who were those teenagers? What were those images he saw when the teenage girl grabbed him? He needed answers, and he knew where to get them. He snuck out the house while his wife and kids were asleep, and headed to the police station.

Zack and Melissa were thrown into a cell for the night for disturbing the peace. Melissa was pacing up and down, contemplating their next move.

"There has to be some way we can convince Milo" mused Melissa, but Zack was less hopeful.

"Didn't you hear him? He has forgotten who we are, and has this great life. Sure, it's make-believe, but it's still great. Who would give this up?" wondered Zack.

"The deck's stacked against us, sure, but when has it not been? How is this any different?" asked Melissa.

"Because then, we had Milo" answered Zack, and Melissa sat down next to him in defeat. She knew Zack had a point there.

"You still do" said a voice coming from the cell window. Zack and Melissa turned toward the window to find Milo, peering in.

"Milo, what are you doing here?" asked Melissa.

"I'm here for answers. When you touched me, it triggered memories I had lost. I thought if we shook hands or something, more may come back" explained Milo. Zack and Melissa agreed to this experiment, as they didn't have much else to go on, and Milo, Melissa and Zack held hands. In an instant, Milo remembered the first day of school, where he met Zack, the llama incident, the fight with the pistachians, and Bill. Bill Cipher stuck out the most, how Milo and his friends spent the best part of the summer dreading his eventual return, and the last memory to click was meeting a Bill-possessed Marco, how he passed out, and woke up here.

"This isn't real, is it?" realised Milo. Zack and Melissa confirmed this.

"But this is your dream world. Now that you know it's a dream, you can control it. Imagine a door in this cell wall, for example, and we can walk out of here" explained Melissa. Milo pictured a door in the wall in his head, and sure enough, an actual door appeared. Zack and Melissa opened it and walked out.

"Milo" came a voice in the dark. It was Amanda, or more precisely, dream Amanda.

"My family isn't real, either, are they?" Milo asked sadly.

"This is your dream. Bill didn't create them, you did. They're real in your heart and mind, and someday, they'll be real in the real world, if you want them to be" Zack postulated.

"Moon said if you imagine a door out of the dream, it will appear, so whip one up and let's go before Bill finds us" hurried Melissa. Milo did so, and a door leading to the real world appeared. Zack and Melissa walked through, and Milo followed shortly after, but not before turning to dream Amanda.

"I'll make you and the kids real. That's a promise" said Milo, before walking through. Milo, Zack and Melissa woke up at the Grand Fearamid's tip, to a ring of people holding hands, generating the zodiac weapon needed to vanquish Bill, only for it to be completely ineffective, as Bill himself was hovering over them, protected by some kind of force field.

"Bet you wish you'd stayed in your little fantasy now, jinx!" taunted Bill.

Author's note: The next chapter will be the final chapter. I hope I can deliver a finale that meets reader's expectations. I also hope I didn't post chapters too often, as I am aware people have lives outside of fanfics, and I didn't want to overwhelm anybody. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE, and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


	20. The Cipher War: Part 4: Judgement

**Judgement**

While the zodiac weapon did summon the necessary force to vanquish Bill, he had erected a force field to protect himself from its effects.

"Murphy's Law, ain't that a kick in the teeth. Even if you're not in the capsule, I can still use you, Milo!" boasted Bill.

"Maybe so, but as long as you're channelling that curse, you can't touch us!" retorted Moon.

"You can't touch me either, what's your point?" countered Bill. "You can't hold hands forever, soon you will tire, hunger or thirst. Humans are so weak, whereas I am eternal!" Bill added. Just then, a missile from Phineas and Ferb's beak suit hit Bill.

"OW! Oh, come on! Not again, why!" yelled Bill. The missile had blasted off Bill's eye protection, and sent shards flying into his eye.

"That field may protect you from magical forces, but technology can still tear you a new one, something we learned from you" taunted Phineas.

"Speaking of technology" said a voice on the team's comms, and a whole army of robots descended on the Grand Fearamid. They were blasting nightmare soldiers, providing relief from the exhausted distraction team.

"I whipped up these guys using my Duplicator-inator. Not exactly military standard, but they get the job done" explained Doofenshmirtz. He went on to explain how he had been using the past week scavenging parts to build his cloning machine, and used it to create a duplicate robot army to fight Bill. He took one look at the capsule Bill had been keeping Milo in, and looked disgusted.

"You cannibalised my Murphy's Law Extract-inator?! You triangular swine!" exclaimed Doofenshmirtz.

"Enough of this!" Bill yelled, and he extended the force field to encompass the entire Fearamid. "Now you're all stuck with me!" Bill threatened. Zack had picked up a fallen blade from one of Doofenshmirtz's robots that had been smashed in the fighting, and chopped Bill's hand off with it.

"OW! My hand! What is it with swords and cutting off hands?!" Bill winced in pain.

"That was for all the statues you had built" proclaimed Zack, and he and Melissa ran out of the room.

"We'll distract Bill as long as we can, use your scissors to get everyone out" called Melissa.

"I'm not leaving you here!" shouted Milo.

"That's an order!" rebuffed Zack. He and Melissa were running in any direction. Bill grew his hand back, changed into pursuit mode, and started to chase after them.

"It seems I need to do a little pest control" Bill remarked, and he was out of the room in hot pursuit.

"What do we do now?!" Milo asked in shock, horrified at the thought of what Bill would do to his friends when he caught them.

"What they said, now come on!" Moon hurried, and she cut a portal to Butterfly Castle, and started evacuating. But to her surprise, no-one stepped through.

"I said I'm not leaving them, and I meant it. Besides, I have a plan" explained Milo, and he confided it to Doofenshmirtz.

"Are you sure about this?" quizzed Doofenshmirtz. Milo nodded, and Doofenshmirtz started fiddling with the capsule.

Elsewhere in the Fearamid, Zack and Melissa were running for their lives, not daring to look if Bill was behind them or not. They heard what sounded like footstomps approaching from behind, and they quickened their pace.

"You don't like my statues, huh? So why don't I turn you two into a painting on my wall?!" Bill roared, as he chased them. Zack and Melissa turned into a nearby room, throwing Bill off for a second. Upon entering, Zack and Melissa noted that they were in a hedge maze.

"Seriously, we're gonna lose him in here?! This is the worst idea ever!" blurted Zack. Melissa shushed him quickly.

"It's the best I could think of at short notice. Milo's better at improvising than me" Melissa retorted. Bill entered the room.

"Oh, so you wanna play hide and seek? OK, I'll count, one, two, eightnineten! Ready or not, here I come!" Bill taunted, as Zack and Melissa made their way through the maze. Turn after turn, dead end after dead end, Zack and Melissa got more fearful they would run into Bill. Twice, they were convinced they had a near miss with him, unsure as to how long they could keep this up.

Back at the peak, Albert approached Milo.

"This is all my fault, Milo. Your friends are going to die because I wanted revenge so badly, after I used Bill's stupid book. I'm sorry" Albert said, in remorse.

"Don't blame yourself, you're not the only one in here who Bill took for a ride. I built that portal for him and put my family's lives in jeopardy. He preyed on my desperation, anyone else would've kicked him to the curb" Phineas consoled.

"One, I built the original portal. Two, Bill's a scam artist, we all know that. He uses human weakness to get what he wants, so let's just focus on stopping him and forget the past" Stanford listed.

"Yeah, let's hurry this up. I swore I would never hold hands this long in my life again" Robbie said.

"Speak for yourself, I'm having the time of my life" Gideon responded. Mabel sported a look of disgust.

"Me too" Pacifica added, and she gripped Dipper's hand a little tighter. Dipper reciprocated, and Wendy took note.

"Finally over me, Dipper?" Wendy asked, teasingly.

"Guess so" Dipper answered.

"I like how even in the midst of an apocalypse, people can be brought together. It's heart-warming" noted Amanda, and she made to stand at Milo's side. Even Fiddleford McGucket looked better. Since he regained his sanity, gone were the hobo rags, but he donned a lab coat and more sensible clothing, and he regained the ability to use a razor as well, so his beard was gone. Doofenshmirtz walked up to Milo's other side.

"It's done" Doofenshmirtz whispered in his ear.

In the maze, Zack and Melissa reached its centre. From here, they could only wait. They had not heard Bill in a while, but it was too much to assume he had given up. Sure enough, they heard Bill's footstomps getting louder and louder. He was closing.

"Melissa, if we're going to die here, there's one thing I want to do first" Zack said.

"Zack, don't do anything you wouldn't do if we weren't going to be killed by a flying nacho, you'll just ruin it" Melissa countered.

"Too bad" Zack replied, and he kissed Melissa. This, Melissa did not see coming. She nonetheless returned the kiss. The couple continued for a few seconds, before Bill reached the centre.

"Found you" Bill chimed, and he lifted Zack and Melissa in the air, and brought them back to the tip in his hand, all the while they were struggling to get free.

"OK, Milo, since you've been so useful to me, I'm going to let you choose which one of your friends you can keep. I kill the other one" Bill goaded.

"I'm going to go with option three; I get in the capsule and you let everyone go" answered Milo. The others were shocked by this. To think they expended all that effort to rescue Milo, only for him to go back, made everyone think this was all a waste of time.

"That works, too" agreed Bill, and he let go of Zack and Melissa.

"Milo, what are you doing?!" demanded Amanda in disbelief. Bill just laughed.

"Don't worry, you'll be back with your wife and kids in no time" assured Bill, mockingly.

"Trust me" Milo pleaded to Amanda, and he made to go into the capsule. Bill shrank the field to only surround himself, and told everyone else they could go, but no-one did.

"What are you still doing here, don't you get it? You've lost!" Bill taunted.

"Have we?" remarked Milo. Bill turned around to find Milo fully conscious.

"WHAT?!" Bill yelled.

"Funny thing about inators, you never know if they have a self-destruct button or a reverse switch. It's a real lottery" answered Milo. Out of sight, Doofenshmirtz pressed a remote in his pocket, and the capsule powered up.

"The deal is off!" declared Bill, but he had bigger problems. The field he was projecting to shield himself from the zodiac force was cracking. Bill desperately tried to repair it, to no avail.

"Oh yeah. This is it for you, Bill. Draining the Law from the only carrier available so you can't use it. Pretty nifty, huh?" Milo taunted.

"You idiot! That thing's running with the safeties off! You'll never survive that!" remarked Bill.

"Only way to get every single drop of it" answered Milo. Bill tried to escape, but that didn't work either.

"Listen to me, Milo. We can make this work. I can help you manage your curse, find its source, use it against your enemies and to help your friends, please" Bill begged, but Milo was not listening. Bill's force field was losing more and more integrity by the second, until finally, the force field was no more, and the zodiac weapon hit Bill square on. With one last death throe, Bill was no more. Amanda rushed over to Milo, who was losing consciousness. Milo put a hand to her cheek.

"Now, you don't have to worry about anything going wrong anymore" Milo mused, before passing out. As Bill was blasted into oblivion, a wave of energy spread around the world, putting right everything Bill broke, from the sky to the people, everything was going back to normal. The nightmare soldiers were pulled back into their realm, and the pyramids, including the one the group were in, disassembled, the building blocks also floating back into the Nightmare Realm. In a second, the sky was blue again, buildings were restored, and people were re-emerging from their hiding places in amazement.

But to the group that was inside the Grand Fearamid, it felt like a hollow victory. While the Excalibur building had been restored, along with everyone inside, Milo was not responding to Amanda's calls for him to wake up. Doofenshmirtz approached her.

"We had to drain him dry to defeat Bill. There's nothing left. It took everything he had but he did it. He saved us all. That kid's a true hero" explained Doofenshmirtz. Everyone had a mournful look on their faces. Amanda couldn't bear to leave Milo, Melissa once again buried her head in Zack's chest, who held her as he himself grieved. Even Elliot, who once despised the chaos Milo brought, couldn't help removing his sunglasses and holding his hat to his chest.

They brought Milo to the medical ward of Excalibur HQ to confirm their grim assumptions, but to everyone's surprise, Doctor Pike did not declare a time of death.

"There are life-signs, but they're very minimal. I don't understand it either. By all accounts, he should be dead" diagnosed Doctor Pike.

"That's my Milo, always a fighter" mused Amanda, but she was holding her relief until after Milo woke up, if he ever did.

In what could only be described as a dream, Milo found himself in a court-room, but with no public gallery, or jury. He did, however, find Bill in the dock.

"He can't harm you, not in here" said a voice. Milo looked towards the judge's bench, to find an unusual looking creature upon it.

"I am the Axolotl. I will be your judge" introduced the Axolotl.

"Where am I, and what am I doing here?" asked Milo.

"We will get to you in time, dear boy. But for now, I am here to pronounce judgement on the one known as Bill" answered the Axolotl. Milo silently observed the proceedings, unsure if he should interfere.

"Bill Cipher, you invoked my second chance for the remorseful, only to waste it with another bid for power. In doing so you have ruined lives of the residents of not just Earth, but Mewni as well. Do you have anything to say in your defence?" interrogated the Axolotl.

"Beings like us are meant to rule, not to sit and watch. Those low-level life forms have no ambition, or drive. They need us to give their lives purpose and direction" defended Bill. Milo wanted to object to this obvious lie, but was at a loss for words, careful not to offend the judge.

"I have brought Milo here to demonstrate that human beings are more than what you make them out to be, Bill. This particular human rises above his family curse to make himself and his allies stronger. He always puts others above himself, and that is how you were defeated. He needs no ruler, no-one telling him which way to go. If you cannot see that, then you will always fail" explained the Axolotl.

"What are you going to do with me?" inquired Bill, fearfully.

"While I do give second chances, I do not give third ones. I banish you to the Land of the Vanquished, where all defeated demons go. Goodbye, Bill" sentenced the Axolotl, and a door appeared to suck Bill into said land. Milo felt no suction, but he came to the conclusion that this court-room doesn't believe in collateral damage. Once Bill was through the door, it closed and disappeared. The Axolotl now turned its attention to Milo.

"You, on the other hand, I have other plans for" said the Axolotl. At this point, Milo found his voice.

"Is this the afterlife?" inquired Milo.

"More like the space between. While you intended to sacrifice yourself to save your world, you're not dead, yet" clarified the Axolotl.

"So, this is purgatory" assumed Milo.

"Purgatory is your term for those that are dead and are waiting to be judged. You are not dead, so this is not purgatory" explained the Axolotl. Now Milo was even more confused.

"Wherever you think this is, is irrelevant. You are here because I want to offer you a choice" added the Axolotl.

"Between life and death?" inquired Milo. The Axolotl confirmed this.

"Behind me are two doors. The one to your left leads to your afterlife, where you will never have to contend with your curse again, but equally you will never see your living friends and family for a very long time, if their luck holds" outlined the Axolotl. Milo considered this option. If he took that door, his friends on Earth would never have to deal with Murphy's Law, would lead normal lives, albeit without him.

"The one to your right leads back to the land of the living and to your friends, but you will still have to deal with Murphy's Law" finished the Axolotl. Milo liked this door better. His life on Earth was exciting, and he wouldn't trade it for anything. But he was still saddened that the Axolotl could not cure Murphy's Law.

"You can't do anything about my curse?" asked Milo.

"I'm the God of Life, that's not my department. These kind of curses can only be broken at the source, and no, I can't help you find it, before you ask" answered the Axolotl. Milo considered his choice, but before he could answer, the Axolotl spoke again.

"There is no dishonour in either decision, so long as you make it without regret." Milo made to go through the door on his right.

"No offence, but I hope I don't find myself in here for a very long time" called Milo, and he went through the door to life.

"We won't" called the Axolotl, and Milo woke up back in Excalibur HQ.

"I promised myself I would never end up here again" Milo joked upon his awakening, and Amanda immediately hugged him tightly. Zack and Melissa were here too, along with everyone else from the Grand Fearamid mission. They all shared a laugh, and Doctor Pike cleared Milo to leave. Once Milo and friends were gone, Albert handed something to Queen Moon.

"These are co-ordinates to an island where the Book of Avalon is hidden. Take it from this place and destroy it or bury it in Mewni's deepest, darkest tomb, I don't care. Just please get it off this planet" Albert pleaded. Moon agreed to take the book and keep it in Butterfly Castle's most secret vault, and left Excalibur HQ via scissor portal.

A week had passed since Bill's defeat. News outlets were reporting that the planet had almost completely rebuilt, everyone was home and doing just fine, and victory parties were being held around the world, as the day was being formally christened as 'Cipher Liberation Day'. One such party was being held on a California Beach, organised by Phineas and Ferb, which usually meant a large turnout. The entire summer vacation gang, the zodiac group, Milo, his friends, Star, Marco and all their friends and family were all there. Marco had cut scissor portals for them to show up without needlessly long car journeys for most of them, and they all partied the night away in their beach attire.

"I'm not one for Earth parties, but this is through the roof" Princess Pony Head complimented. The boys managed to get Love Sentence to sing at their beach party. How they managed this, no-one questioned, and they all danced to their heart's content. After a while, the music slowed down so the couples in the house could have a moment to themselves. The couplings of Milo and Amanda, Zack and Melissa, Dipper and Pacifica, and Star and Marco were all slow dancing together.

"So, tell me Milo. In this dreamland of yours, how many kids did we have?" asked Amanda.

"Just two, a boy and a girl" answered Milo, romantically.

"Nice and even, just the way I like it" responded Amanda, and they kissed.

"Who would've thought they taught slow dancing in the Lumberzacks" Melissa joked.

"I'm full of surprises" Zack replied.

"So am I" Melissa responded, and they kissed.

"Is there anything more romantic than facing down the apocalypse twice?" Dipper inquired.

"Doing it both times with you" Pacifica answered. Dipper chuckled.

"That is so cheesy" Dipper teased.

"Mabel gave me that one" Pacifica explained.

"I bet she did" Dipper teased further, and they kissed.

"Well, Marco, this time I get to see your face while we dance" remarked Star.

"And this time, we're dancing after a demon is defeated" mused Marco.

"Do you think the Blood Moon had a hand in us hooking up?" quizzed Star.

"I don't know, but whatever it was, I'm thankful for it" answered Marco, and they kissed. After the party's end, Marco cut open portals home to everyone, said their goodbyes, and went to sleep, safe in the knowledge that Bill will never haunt anyone's dreams ever again.

The End

Author's note: I wanted to write a song for this one, but a. I suck at writing songs and b. a song needs music and a beat, and you can't convey that in purely written work. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this series as much as I enjoyed writing it. The ending of this chapter was inspired by the ending to the third Mummy movie. I know it sucked but the ending was romantic enough for this work, I thought. If anyone is drawing similarities between this ending and the ending to Gravity Falls, that wasn't my intention. I also wanted to add a Rick and Morty section to this series, but since they are not a Disney property, it wouldn't make much sense. The usual disclaimers: I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law, Alex Hirsch owns Gravity Falls, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.


End file.
